Whadda crock of shit this is...you know how many daydreamers I sat next to in school when I was younger...and believe me they weren't any damn smarter than me...hell half of them are probably still tryin' to graduate...if dreamin' made ya smarter I'd spend 20 hours a day staring off into space...an hour in the shower dreamin' about other stuff...and 3 hours wonderin what I should dream about the next time I fell asleep...and I wouldn't be the only one...hell people would be quittin' their jobs just to sit around and dream up intelligent tidbits that actually made sense and we wouldn't have a damn thing to discuss on our weekly adventures through the vocabulary and lexicology of our language...and the brief flashes of intellect that I possess because I paid ATTENTION in school...I didn't learn the language and how to master it by layin' around in bed all day... you know what gives you a higher IQ??? The desire to learn shit...if laziness promoted higher levels of intelligence...I'd know some of the smartest sonsabitches on the planet...I mean come on...look around you...if this tidbit were true there'd be a ton of people you could literally point a finger at and correctly identify those among you who don't even sleep...let alone dream...they're the ones huntin' UFO's...bouncin' around in dark forests tryin' to find Bigfoot...or they're tryin' to talk to ghosts...and each one of them because they couldn't give up on their imaginary friends from childhood...seriously...it takes me about half an hour to put together the tidbit...sometimes more...sometimes less...depends on what else I have goin' on at the moment...and how good the medicinal mj is for that day...that's precious time I could be dreamin'...and sometimes I do...for hours without even knowing it...because I'm ASLEEP...and I seldom remember any of the things that run through my mist covered mind while I am in SLUMBER...funny thing tho...I don't tend to wake up with life saving ideas...or the answer to life...I don't even wake up with unusual insight into the female psyche...no new recipes...cures for cancer...overnight millionaire success stories...I usually wake up with the munchies...the urge to go piss...or from a loud noise...NOT usually an alarm...that wakes everyone else up...and then the thunderous footsteps to shut it off wake me up...what strange looks I get...as if I interrupted an intelligence filled dream state...and NOW they're missin' out and becomin' dumber than their friends...which if they only stopped a second to consider they would realize is impossible...collective stupidity runs in groups...ya ever notice that...especially in kids...teenagers primarily...they don't tend to go out and get in trouble by THEMSELVES...even when it appears as tho they possess the capability to be that DUMB...it isn't usually the case...they are either a victim of slowfootedness or they are the DUMBEST of the DUMB kids they hang out with and they got left behind to take the fall...either way...they are in dire need of cryogenically induced comatose sleeping situations in order to correct the problem...I mean seriously...kids these days have the technology my generation woulda killed to have...and yet they get caught doin' DUMB ass shit all the time...I've said it a thousand times...if I've said it once...technology has made us lazier...and as a lazier breed of people we SLEEP more...which means we should DREAM more...and yet the presence of intelligence seems to be disappearing with each new generation of pants around the ankles wearers...those of us that graduated before the 90's...had to do something kids of today NEVER hafta do...we hadta personally FIGURE shit out...we couldn't Google the answers to next weeks History exam...we couldn't use a calculator in Math class...I know some of ya are still pissed that you hadta use an abacus...or felt cheated because you learned to count on Grandpa Joe's toes and he was missing 3 of them from a freak accident at work...the thing is...the kids today have NO idea how to raise their IQ...if it isn't handed to them by clicking a few radio buttons on a computer screen...they're too uneducated to FIGURE out what to do next...you give a kid these days a linear math equation, a piece of paper and a pencil...and tell them to solve it...you're probably gonna end up with a drawing that looks like Da Vinci's Last Supper...if they were servin' spaghetti...you wanna raise your IQ...read a damn book...try NOT to fall asleep...if you DREAM at all...DREAM that you are a character in that book...if you can't understand one of the words...LOOK it up...find out what the definition is...use that word in at least 10 sentences a day...if NOTHING else it will give the ILLUSION you are educated...look at it this way...if the biggest word in your vocabulary consists of less than 10 letters...you don't even have an IQ that would register on a Q-tip if I shoved it in your ear to gauge your level of intelligence...if you find yourself runnin' to the dictionary every time a word starts with a 'T'...ends with an 'E'...and only has one other letter in the middle...you need some NO-DOZ...you're ass has been DREAMIN' long enough...ya think Edison went to bed every night and DREAMT up new models of failure for the light bulb...before he finally found what worked...NO...he sat at a desk...drawing up new ideas while he was wide AWAKE...which is why we use that little symbol to SIGNIFY somebody finally CATCHIN' on...thereby raising their IQ...NOW granted...some light bulbs are still brighter than others...but they only click ON...when the person's eyes are open and they are DEEP in THOUGHT...NOT DREAMY states of REM sleep...speakin' of which...it's time I lay my merry little mind to rest and try to wake up somewhat less DUMB tomorrow...because apparently my kids are gettin' more sleep than I am...I couldn't be DUMBER in their eyes if I DROOLED myself to DREAMLAND!!!
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