TAS-TEE!!!

An exocannibal is a cannibal that only eats enemies, an indocannibal only eats friends...

Seriously...look...if somebody eats the flesh of my dead carcass...they were an enemy of mine at some sort...I don't really give a flyin f**k at a rollin' doughnut by which name you call them...the author of this tidbit is an entirely new breed of idiot...what are the distinguishing features of each little clique of cannibals...this is obviously a by product of insignificant science based studies...exo...means outer...indo means inner...therefore an exocannibal would only eat things visible on the outside of the body...whereas an indocannibal would only consider the inner delicacies of the dearly departed as being edible for consumption...whadda dumbass...but in all fairness to the idiots we face on a daily basis...I hear if you blindfold an exo cannibal and an indo cannibal and feed them flesh from the same corpse...it tastes like chicken...there are slight variations in texture and consistency between ethnicities...for instance...in blindfolded taste tests...exo's and indo's agreed that African ears that like burnt potato chips...whereas Oriental ears taste like raw fish...how would you be able to differentiate between the two tribes if ya came across them...I mean if this were even remotely true...wouldn't you wanna know if you should befriend the tribe or piss them off...seriously..I know I'd wanna know whether to show up bearing gifts...or throwing stones...it seems it would have a huge impact on whether or not I lived...and you would hafta believe that there are rules to the game of feasting on human flesh...what do indo's do...wait for their friends to die before beginning the feast...how would you live amongst a group of people that you knew were going to be suckin' fried flesh off your bones if you failed to wake up the following morning...whaddaya sell off the tasty parts while you're still alive and kickin'...and if there are exocannibals and indocannibals...it stands to reason that there are omnicannibals...capable of simmerin' you're rottin corpse in a pot of boiling stew...regardless of what side of the friend/enemy fence you fell on...I wonder if they have the same problems in their little societies and civilizations that we do...is there a new group of herbicannibals...little pockets of flesh eating resistance...the vegetarians of the collective corpse munchin' morons...refusing to eat either friend or foe...I didn't realize cannibalism was still a problem..so much so that we had to assign different categories and classifications for the crusty butt munchers...I mean really...where do you go shopping for this week's supply of finger fries and toe tater chips...it's NOT like there's a local deli where ya can get a slab of friendly flab steaks...or an egg carton full of enemy eyeballs...I mean don't get me wrong...there are times where cannibalism has saved the lives of others...the Donner Pass incident for one...shit happens when ya go hikin' unprepared in the WINTER...makes it necessary to eat whatever ya can just to stay alive...but in this day and age if you find yourself in such a predicament...chances are ya didn't think things through very well during the planning process... something went drastically awry while you were rollin' that little piece of logic lint around in the frontal lobe of your lopsided learnin' lesion...you know how people get lost in the wilderness???  By GOING there in the first place...if you were born and raised in a suburban or metropolitan setting...and the only time you've ever seen NATURE has been in a book...STAY HOME...you won't hafta end up incorporating indocannibalism into your daily dietary plan when your friends and family members begin to perish...if you don't know how to swim...don't get on a boat...this will keep you from ending up lost at sea...in a raft with a buncha other idiots that can't swim...waiting for one of them to die so you can make jerky from the fleshy parts of the thigh...NOBODY eats people anymore unless it's a necessity...cannibal tribes have been modernized thru the use of weaponry...they were much like the natives here in America...ill equipped to combat rifles with spears...so they got their sh*t together and started finding other things to feast on...I shouldn't even hafta tell ya why this little tidbit CAN'T be TRUE...but I will...because it's Monday...and ya should learn somethin' new every day...if indocannibals only eat their friends...kinda like men from Kentucky only marry their sisters...there are only so many friends an indo can eat before the supply chain runs dry...because let's face it...once people know you're eating your friends...much like if they find out you're f**kin' your own sister...you're gonna have more enemies than you are acceptable acquaintances...on the other hand...if you're an exocannibal...you hafta hunt and kill your food supply...which is kinda like bein' married to an ugly person...because let's face it...once people know you're killin' off your enemies for next Friday's feast...or sleepin' with a hideous hairy thing named Henrietta...they're generally gonna be friendly to your face...even if they talk sh*t behind your back...you don't hafta be a rocket scientist to figure out how to keep from being the main course at your friends impending funeral...if you're goin' somewhere that doesn't have the availability of a convenience store close by...pack plenty of FOOD...it will keep ya from bein eaten by your FRIENDS & FAMILY!!!