Just in case you're wonderin'...the title is the theme song from Law & Order...by age 60 most people have lost more than half their taste buds...they've lived more than half their life...lost most of their hair teeth...sense of sight...smell and taste...you could feed them Elmer's glue and they wouldn't know the difference...several of them are used as taste testers for the onions...apples and potatoes crowd...you remember those morons don'tcha...I wonder if most people over 60 realize that if they make it to 100 it isn't really gonna matter...I know quite a few people over 60 an I'd be surprised if they had a taste bud left on their textured leather tongue...I'm nowhere near 60 and I don't even care what food tastes like anymore...throw some Cajun spice concoction on that shit and throw it on a plate...bring the necessary hardware and lemme at it...most people over 60 are happy they're still being fed...they don't care what stuff tastes like either...you could give them turd covered tube socks simmered in a slow motion gristle gravy and they'd be just as gummily happy as a 10 month old teethin toddler with a face full of those terrible tastin' tan colored cookies...you guys think I'm kiddin'...take a look around today at lunch...there's gonna be those among you that can't chew mashed potatoes...let alone a hunk of beef or chicken...and they aren't gonna care...they're all full of smiles...bibs on...like lunchtime with Barney...that great big purple dinosaur with homosexual tendencies and devil worshipping cult followers...just a cheery buncha bobble heads havin that meal between breakfast and supper...good damn thing that taste buds aren't actually essential to eating...sure they make it a more appealing process but as you all know...if you blindfold yourselves and act completely ignorant about other things you've been taught...you can make any old piece of shit taste like a filet mignon...I wouldn't worry so much about the loss of taste buds...by the time your 60 there are far more problems present on your human shell than the absence of half your taste buds...for instance...emergency ear hair removal...what the hell makes people think this is socially acceptable...seriously...the only way ya shouldn't be able to see the entire ear is if it is covered by long hair...if your big old side head sound receptacles look like an overgrown Vietnamese jungle get yourself some f**kin' hedge trimmers for pete's sake...runnin' around here with neatly coiffed ear canals...you're supposed to hear outta the damn things...NOT trap small insects and unsuspecting birds who mistakenly took the material as a sign of possible nesting places...or how about the rediscovering of the waist line...what the hell is wrong with you people...and that's a generalization...I mean what the hell is wrong with you people between the ages of 12 and 25...and those of ya between 60 and 100...I mean when the hell did it become popular to go from wearing clothes that fit around your waist...to wearing clothes that sag around your knees...to wearin clothes that fit around your waist...to wearin' clothes that ya let rest just below the armpits... I mean damn...and let's not forget about the suddne bulky appearance of Depends undergarments and Granny panties...NOT too mention the crusty eye crap ya leave on your unshowered face before ya head out to scare the general public in the morning..or the ten pounds of misplaced make-up your poor eyesight is responsible for...yeah..I'd say taste bud depreciation is the least of your worries...I mean I can't stand the changes my own body is goin' thru at the ripe old age of mid-40's frontier...I've got facial forestry creepin outta my ear canals and it bothers the shit outta me...it's like the hairline is slippin'...NOT just receding...it's droppin down to my sound bouncers and crawlin outta my ears like some uncontrollable visible vinery...NEVER had this problem when I was younger...but then again I've worn my pants at the same height all my life...so maybe I didn't take the necessary knee wearin pants protection procedures to eliminate unearthly growth in my ear garden...and idk if it's just au naturel for other parts of the body to begin droopin' to levels that would make wearin my pants around my knees a little more breezy than I'm sure th bos would be happ with...or if that's a by-product of goin' Commando since I was old enough to decide I didn't like the tags in underwear anymore than I did on shirts...but the fact remains...those fellas are falling prey to the problems associated with gravity...if I lived in Ireland I'd need a dress instead of a kilt...and maybe some bagpipes of my own to prop the poor bastards up off the floor...oh you can go ahead and laugh til tears are rollin' out your eyes...I've seen some of those old tuck'em in titties you pre-grannies are sportin around...damn things look like a coupla over ripe honeydew melons in a sailors laundry sack...it's Tuesday folks...have a great day!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment