YEAH...AND???

Aspirin has never been approved or rejected by the FDA...

YEAH...AND???  Does this surprise anyone???  It shouldn't...I grew up watchin' commercials depicting Bayer aspirin as actually being healthy...that's right HEALTHY...in small doses such as in a tablet per day for old people...(I'll wait...get your little pill purse out and pop your does of aspirin...and don't waste time lookin' around for who I'm talkin' to...if your ass is readin' this chances are your close to my age...or death as the younger generations are so found to point out...I'm waiting...)...alright now where were we...oh yeah...aspirin...Bayer in particular...bein' good for you...because it does what class???  It thins the blood...oh hush I give you guys chances to answer all the time...NEVER see any hand raisers...maybe we should do this by Skype so I can field questions when I ask them...see who is really payin' attention...because I know how hard it can be to try and follow along the warped wisdom of T.O.W.S.W...(which stands for...anyone...anyone...The One Who Smokes Weed)...do try and keep up...anyway...as I was...(what??? Need a moment to let that all sink in...all better now???  Can we proceed???)...as I was sayin'...see ya made me lose my train of thought...DAMN IT ANYWAY...Bayer...aspirin...good for you...because it thins the blood...which is why people that are suffering from a stroke...heart attack or mild aneurysm...should be given a couple of aspirin and a glass of water if possible...unless of course they are like me and develop and allergy to NSAIDS overnight...apparently using aspirin...on damn near every occasion that required it...hangovers...headaches...did I mention hangovers...didn't account for anything...go out Friday night get drunk...come home...take five aspirin before passing out...NO HANGOVER...that was my fail proof system...til I woke up one morning with a bump on my tongue...jumped in the shower...kept rakin' that little bump across my tongue...and when I got out of the shower I had the f**kin' Michelin Man starin' outta the mirror I was tryin' to open my eyes and look into...but up until then...it had very helpful and healthy functions...and that's why the FDA won't approve it or reject it...because it works...and that scares them...they've seldom been involved with this kind of magic potions and witchery...NOT too mention they're the same ones that set standards for acceptability issues like how many maggot parts are okay to include in canned vegetables...if I could...I wouldn't touch a DAMN thing they approve...I'd much rather take my chances with the shit they reject...it's probably ten times better for us in the long run...ya know...when the acronym for the department you work for has the word DRUG in it...ya might wanna take a stand on one side of the fence or the other...cuz when ya just sit idly by and refuse to make a decision...it doesn't help breed confidence in you or your establishment...you're sorely lackin' in the ...grow a pair and MTFU department...I wish I weren't allergic to aspirin...I'd use it like salt and sprinkle that shit on everything...it's probably a secret cure for cancer...that's why they won't approve it...all other pharmaceutical companies pedaling their side effect inducing snake oils and cure all pills would go out of business...and who do ya think funds the FDA...it isn't the Federal Government...maybe on paycheck...for disclaimer purposes...but in reality it's the drug companies...today's medicine...pharmaceutical at least...is a joke...you can whip up a pill and market it for sale...promote the one thing it might be able to help with and cover every side effect known to man...and you're safe...I mean...COME ON...if the silly simpletons from yesterday can talk ya outta our money and cut off your head...and drug companies can offer a cure for erectile dysfunction by possibly causing heart attacks...kidney failure...prolonged erections lasting longer than John Holmes in a 1970's porno...what does that say about us as a society???   LAZY???  UNCONCERNED???   COMPLACENT...that's the word...we have grown into a society that has adopted a collective conscience of accepting the garbage they feed us every day...it's sad really...when ya step back and look at the big picture...how long did the FDA approve fast food cooking techniques before declaring an OBESITY epidemic...12 year old children that weigh triple digit figures that start with the #2 or 3...COMPLACENCY...hey they approved it...we bought into it...and NOW they hafta use different preparation techniques to deliver...healthier (debatable) food...in yet another misguided attempt to correct a condition that was spawned by their own ineptitude...I mean seriously...it's time people started payin' attention to just what the hell is goin' on around here...before we wake up penniless and in search of a missing body...like a buncha headless money wasters waitin' for a future that will NEVER come...shoulda taken aspirin...ya mighta lived longer...ya 75 year old first grade midget freak...I know...I know...it's wrong to point fingers and call names...it creates complexes...STFU...me and all my friends lived through it...here take two of these and come back Monday...DOCTOR'S ORDERS!!!