MEATHEADED MUPPET!!!

During a kiss 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged...

While this information may hold some truth to it...once again it has been misrepresented by the half cautious always confused colostomy bag sniffing constituent that half heartedly farted out a half assed fact...the way in which this information has been presented entices the reader to believe this act is conducted in a gift giving atmosphere...NOBODY approaches the possible pleasure of receiving a passion filled peck on the plumply flesh protruding from just below the nose in the hopes of contracting some scientific petri dish full of delicious bacteria...NOR are they generally concerned with what other medical conditions might arise from such an interaction with an unknown...yet highly desirable exotic and erotic entity...they are more concerned with how much further along the base paths they can hope to achieve...as a home run is the happiest moment associated with baseball...it is also a very hearty and appreciated aspect associated with dating delicate damsels and dashing dudes on a fact finding foray of f**kery...depending on the level of experience inherent in the couple performing the kiss for the first time...anything short of hitting one for the fences may be viewed as similar in stature to sleeping with your chastity belt wearing slutless sister...reaching second base should only heighten the hopes of the pouty mouthed moocher...enticing them to stretch for a slide into third or the possible rounding of the hot corner and a head first slide into home plate...it should NOT under any circumstances cause the cautious kisser to reject the opportunity for advancement along the base paths...which is the ONLY conclusion an OCD dating dipshidiot can come up with...and that my friend is why people develop agoraphobia...once they have burned all of their potential bridges with the fairer sex there really isn't anything left to do but glove up and grab the tool yourself...I've NEVER...NOT one single time in my entire life looked at a lovely young lady and thought to myself...WOW...I'll bet kissing her is akin to tongue jacking the unclean ass crack of a Sasquatch stuffed with suppositories...NO folks...for the most part if I play my cards right it isn't the face of the frolicker I will be forced to endure during the ordeal...I therefore regard kissing as a means to an ultimate end...it is a painless procedure for procuring pussy...or penis...depending on your gender and personal preferences...it is NOT something that consenting adults continue to practice as anything more than a formality in the expectation of experiencing a more pleasurable past time...those of you who concern yourselves with the concept of contracting a bacterial infection from your plunging into the pouty protrusions of a passionate princess...I'm absolutely confident there are less than five notches in your conquest containing cummerbund...you are more than likely single with a solo hairy knuckled shaving situation...chances are you have more pets than actual performing partners void of pajamas...your main hobbies are living with your mother and shredding your semen soiled socks in an effort to conceal your inability to bed a beautiful babe...your future is so bright you need optical enhancing equipment just to get a glimpse of the gherkin you will be jerkin for the rest of your life...it's sad really when someone misses out on the vital information offered in the science and sex education class room environment...I am thankful though that there are people from this planet who fear procreationary procedures due to their perplexing position regarding the exchange of collaborating bacteria colonies bouncing around from a single kiss...if NOTHING else I have one less fear associated with them participating in the over population of the planet with peanut brained ass jockeys...I mean sure there are sexy citizens out there that have everything going on with their outwardly appearances...and yet neglect to take the proper care of their kissing apparatus...and that is what pillows are for...they present a nice soft...face first solution for getting down to business...let this be a lesson to you lads...if you want to get laid...do not lead off with a lesson in personal hygiene...it tends to dampen the spirit and destroy the desire to copulate with the offensive bacteria colony collecting kisser...in other words...you hafta think outside the box..in order to get deeper inside the box...if ya smell what I'm steppin in lemme hear a HALLELUJAH!!!