THAT'S JUST RETARDED!!!

Manhole covers are round so they don't fall in the hole...

...and here I was...having manufactured several thousand of these items myself...thinking they were made that way because the other components of a manhole were ROUND...I'm fairly certain that a cover for ANYTHING is created AFTER the actual thing it is designed to COVER has been created...which is why manhole covers aren't SQUARE or TRIANGULAR in shape...to be completely honest I always thought manhole covers were made outta cloth or fabric...isn't that what the ladies wear these days...cotton or silk panties...pajama bottoms or pants...I mean those are the manhole covers we should be concerned with...they can be more difficult to remove and gain access to than anything made from iron and placed in the street...I mean...unless I've missed something...NOBODY comes hunting you down with a shotgun for entering a city's sewer system...unless of course you are a felon on the run...and they happen to see you make your getaway through one of these tunnels...some manholes may not be covered with designer jeans and different types of cloth...there are those that go commando and wear skirts...a more or less open air gutter tunnel solution...safe to venture near yet just as dangerous...as those that venture too far may become lost for several hours...in certain parts of the underdeveloped world manhole covers may appear hidden behind hideous overgrown bushes that are damn near impenetrable...wiry and thick with thorns...work in these areas needs to be down with and industrial strength hedge trimmer...and possibly a chainsaw...depending on relative thickness and age of the shrubbery...caution is highly recommended...prospective individuals are advised NOT to enter alone...seek the assistance of a qualified safari guide...to prevent the entanglement of your little soldier...manhole covers come in a variety of configurations...complete with trapdoors and trickery...some of them actually have full working ovens with loaves of bread...(and the stench of fishes)...as enticements for those that travel too close to an opening...while others require a full hazardous material outfit in order to enter...they also come in an abundance of different sizes...some are so narrow that it would be difficult to drive a toothpick in there with a jackhammer...while some are so wide you could throw a blue whale through the opening with room to spare on all sides...there are also varying degrees of depth...some are rather shallow and bottom out rather quickly...while others appear bottomless and contain the objects that fall into them for centuries...NO sir...messin' with manhole covers is NOT a past time for the faint of heart or the squeemish...unprepared prospects can become lost...injured...suffering scrapes or bruises...or in some cases experience near fatal tragedies from the protectors of the covers...the tools of the trade for gaining access to these difficult areas might include...currency...credit cards...alcoholic beverages and bush trimming techniques...additional protective gear may also be necessary depending on the current situation...a respirator or snorkel might be of service for those entering head first...toxic material is always a possibility when messin' with these mammoth mammalian manhole manifestations...travel maps may also be necessary as the majority of these systems have a rear exit hatch in close proximity...while some of these locations are intended for alternate access...the majority of them are used as exhaust vents for emanating toxic fumes...complex gaseous eruptions may occur if these areas if the one performing the work gets caught in the ventilation shaft...entire lives have been spent attempting to figure out the fail safe techniques of unassing a manhole cover...wars have been fought over the unauthorized access to these systems...NO folks...it isn't the shape of the manhole cover that needs to be addressed...it is the size and smell that matters most...while some are a complete and total mess...there are those worthy of exploration...I may not always choose the right manhole covers to manipulate...but when I do it is with the foresight of deforestation and anti-fungal formulas...stay protected my friends!!!