YO...TAXI!!!

In Los Angeles, Ca taxi drivers can be fined $1,500.00 for wearing plaid...

Listen plaid shirts...thumbs up...plaid pants...thumbs down..especially if they match...then you get a double thumbs down and a quick trip to the nearest golf course that caters to Grandpas...who wears plaid anymore besides country and western singers...hell even ancient golf aliens wear ridiculous shorts instead of plaid pants...but here's the problem I have with taxi's and those that drive them...and it doesn't involve plaid...it involves safe driving techniques...which in Los Angeles' drive by environment appears to be tossed out the window...How about you charge them $1,500.00 for lying on their chauffeurs license...cuz I'm pretty damn sure the only Middle Easterner with an American name was Baghdad Bob...and we gave him that unofficial moniker...the rest of these ass basket wannabe terrorists don't have names like Jalalabadabong Smith...or Bill al-Haji Hack-a-lung...or how about a fine for inherent goat herding smell...good lord...you're more concerned with how he looks than how he smells...seriously...pay attention before ya hafta start taking a damn interpreter or your own personal #1 button for Angrish...I mean seriously...there are plenty of other fines...obstructing vision with all those towels heaped up on the head...really...I get pulled over for having a Veteran's fake poppy dangling from the rear view mirror...yet this ass basket is allowed to drive around with more clothing on their head than the rest of their body...what are the all certified for diplomatic immunity...I mean isn't it bad enough they took over the Customer Service industry...now they are invading our taxi service...what's next...Cracker Jack pilot licenses and box cutters...or have they done that already too...ya know I wasn't alive back during the second World War...but I did read about it in history books...why do we not round all of these people up and place them in concentration camps???  It worked before...with the Japanese...stands to reason it would work again...I would be shocked and amazed to see any taxi driver wearing plaid...it doesn't seem to be in their culture to wear various colors all on the same piece of cloth...they tend to wear the rest of their bedroom linen while stomping around a patch of dirt...I mean if plaid is their way of trying to blend in and be unnoticed...they are doing it wrong...NEWSFLASH...only amnesiatic alzheimers patients that still play golf wear plaid...and those white trailer trash cowboys like John Travolta in Urban Cowboy...those guys wear alotta plaid...and WWE World Championship sized belt buckles...so unless you're tryin' to look like ya listen to country music and ride mechanical bulls...you're way off the mark...I don't get it...I mean I'm tryin' like hell to envision a plaid turban...and it just isn't comin' together...that would be too loud...almost like tryin' to ride around with a fruit basket balanced atop your brain bucket...I mean what the hell is the point of letting your hair grow to the floor if ya just hafta wrap it up in a damn towel on top of your head...ya look like Egyptian hieroglyphs depicting ancient aliens...ya silly asses...and lemme ask ya...how well are those things workin for ya in substitution of helmets out there in the homeland...yeah that's what I thought...it doesn't matter what color ya weave them when they don't protect ya from sniper shots now does it???  If you are in the Los Angeles area and you're taxi driver is wearin' plaid...that's probably the least of your worries...I'd be more concerned with where you are headed and whether or not the vehicle has bullet resistant glass...and gets ya from one place to the other in relative safety...ya might wanna have a smart phone and a translator handy as well...might help with giving directions...crazy the shit they come up with...like plaid is worse than the illegal immigrant problem...it's little wonder the place is a hot bed for crime...ya got mega millionaires...actors...professional athletes...popular music icons...illegal immigrants from all over the world...and a hood rat problem...all in once tight little confined area...I'd think you'd wanna wear plaid...just so ya could blend with all the different gangs runnin the alleys...make sure to carry your green card though...just in case...awww...who the hell am I foolin'...ya know the Immigration department doesn't check for those anymore...I don't know...maybe I'm wrong...but there ya used to be a reason for having established BORDERS...to keep the undesirables out and protect the ones within...always amazes me when they focus on the WRONG things in the WRONG areas...ya wanna make money fining people for wearing plaid...go to an old folk's home...a garage sale being held by a widowed retiree...a golf course...ya don't target taxi cab drivers in southern California...that seems to be an ongoing theme with politicians and law makers...the closest they will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle!!!