COW TIPPING CATASTROPHES!!!

You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark...

Hmmm...kinda makes ya wonder if all those Cow tipping contests we participated in back in the days before technology became popular are now beginning to catch up with us...doesn't it???  Yeah me neither really...ya know why humans are more likely to be attacked by a cow than they are by a shark???  It's simple really...sharks are NOT land based animals...and we as humans are NOT water based mammals...this news should NOT come as a surprise to most of you...it is apparent in every day society...you are more likely to fall off the side of a mountain than you are to get hit by a comet passing too close to the planet...why...because mountains are readily available for human interactivity whereas comets are NOT...damn idiots anyway...you have a greater potential for losing weight if you live in the desert...why???  Because FOOD doesn't grow as well in those areas...ya buncha dirt dwellin' dipshidiots...ya know why cows gobble grass instead of sucking down a seaweed slurpee???  because they do not fancy floating in water...holy crap...it's no damn wonder there is so much confusion in the class rooms of this country...we are paying significant amounts of tax dollars to have our children act as students of a system that fails to properly educate them...this is common sense stuff here folks...do you know why shark attacks are more profoundly reported on then encounters with disgruntled cows???  Because there are far more serious consequences that come with shark attacks than with grumpy old gargantuans of the grasslands...people seldom lose a limb from being clobbered by a cow...while on the other hand serious and life threatening situations can easily occur when confronting something like a shark...it is also a helluvalot easier to handle a cow gone crazy...a .22 shell to the frontal lobe usually does the trick...hunting down a shark suspected of slaughtering several sandy beach bathing beauties is not something that can be done except from the confines of Hollywood...I dare say we as a species are far more destructive in nature than any of our counterparts living in the rest of the animal kingdom...and without much remorse I might add...I would not be surprised one single bit if cows were the most confused critter on the crust of this planet...the poor bastards are raised for one reason and one reason only...they are tasty with the other things we put on the plate at dinner time...it also would not surprise me if they were finally beginning to make a stand for themselves by retaliating against their current collective killers...or those that appear human in nature...cow accidents are uncommon for the most part...they are a docile animal and for the most part are considered vegetarians...incapable of initiating a bloodlust for human consumption...most accidental cow encounters of a calamitous nature include being kicked...rather than being chewed on...primarily because human flesh...musculature and bone structure are not as soft...tender and tasty as the grass that grows fresh on a daily basis...I hate when halfwits in humanity get shit half assed...it sends a signal that even with the vast advancements associated with technology and information we as a species still suffer from the effects of unbridled incest...STOP sleeping with your sister and START paying attention to the details NOT provided in your incomplete class room exercises in stupidity...for the love of all mankind and the survival of the species...self-castrate yourself as part of the solution for preventing future forums of f**ktardom from occurring!!!