THOSE FOOLISH FRENCHIES!!!

In France, it is illegal to marry a dead person...

IDK how many of you have ever visited France...or any other neighboring European country...but there is a legitimate reason some of our ancestors and founding fathers vacated their original countries to land on the shores of America...they didn't have a fear of soap and daily bathing practices...that's one of the reasons you can't marry a dead person in France...they have better overall personal hygiene...ya ever wonder why France is heralded as the Wonderful World of Wafting...the Planet's Prodigious Perfume Producer...it's because they can't manufacture gas masks that will stifle the stench of walking rotting flesh...IDK get it...why would you...as a country...develop a mastery of manufacturing after bath products that are designed to make you smell prettier...if you don't bathe in the first place...it's kinda like startin' a clothing company in a nudist colony...what would be the point...really doesn't make alotta sense when you stop to think about it...you can't marry a dead person...yet you can have them cremated and kept in a container on the mantle...a commitment that...in this day and age...would normally last longer than a marriage to an actual living being...WTF...seriously...I think MEN in particular would welcome the opportunity to marry a dead woman...less bitching...no television interference or hunny do lists during sports seasons...no back seat naggravating while driving down the road...you can practice polygamy by marrying other dead women and NEVER hafta worry about being caught or labeled a cheater...the benefits are endless...ya get tired of one the divorce proceedings will be significantly easier to accomplish and you get to KEEP everything you worked so hard for...I mean sure it has it's drawbacks...ya still hafta cook and clean for yourself...but if you end up moving to America and becoming a citizen in certain states or counties within the country...you may be entitled to an extra vote come election time...an advantage some of the ACTUAL living and fighting citizens of this country are NOT entitled to...you'll also get more social security than you would normally be entitled to...a larger tax return annually...hell you'll fit right in with the American Dream...which has NOTHING to do with freedom and capitalism...but rather the time honored tradition of manipulating the masses of mindless minions into believing you are doin NOTHING wrong according to the laws which govern the destruction of the last Great Empire on Earth...tragic really when you think about it...the majority of us do NOT know how to speak or understand Mandarin...but our Great grandchildren will...as will those of the undead wedded Frenchies...apparently the Chinese are uninterested in marrying dead people as it tends to disrupt the over population of the planet program they have instituted to establish their own New World Order that has NOTHING to do with Free Masons...and it is a program that is working very well I might add...you don't see any country on the planet pointing fingers at the Chinese and tossing around fighting words do ya???  NO...because you cannot conquer a country that has more people than you have bullets to bury...hell rabbits do NOT procreate that rapidly...but seriously...you wanna know the real reason the French are NOT allowed to wed the dead???  Two reasons really...#1)  The only famous people from France are already DEAD...can't have ya tagging along on the accomplishments of someone else...and #2)  because DEAD French people can't fly that frilly white flag during times of war...and then where would we be...with one less country to care for...one less patch of land on the planet to come to the rescue of...and just to be fair to the females...there are advantages to marrying a DEAD guy as well...rigor mortise has a way of eliminating erectile dysfunction...at least until the flesh falls away...at which time an immediate upgrade will be necessary...I know what most of you are thinkin'...Necrophilia is considered taboo in modern American society...so was women in the workplace at one time...and look how well that has worked for us!!!