Scientists have discovered that North Atlantic Herring have a unique way of communicating called FRT
Okay...so I'm watchin a program on Animal Planet the other night about the 10 loudest animals on the planet...and believe it or not the North Atlantic Herring was on the list...a buncha scientists got together in 2003 and conducted a study using high tech equipment to determine what...if any...kinda sound a school of Herring made...much to their surprise...mine as well...it was determined that Herring pass gas which releases bubbles and emits a high frequency noise...it has been suggested that they use this technique to communicate...the scientists who made this discovery named this peculiar noise Fast Repetitive Tick...or FRT...I have a couple issues with this...1) Who funds fish fart finding expeditions??? I mean how do you spend all that time and money on obtaining an education...just to wake up one morning get halfway thru the shit, shower, and shave routine...look in the mirror and think to yourself..."Ya know what I'm gonna do today...find someone to financially back my foray into finding a fish that farts?" Who in their right mind hears this proposition...and thinks..."Well Hell Yes I'll fund your little fish fart finding boat trip" 2) How in the world do you make the assesment that Herring use this as a form of communication? Don't all living things pass gas? I know my animals do...and I have no doubt they aren't tryin to communicate a damn thing...much like humans...we pass gas otherwise our bodies would fill up with methane and explode...trust me a little teaspoon fart is far easier to deal with than shit filled combustible human flesh bags poppin on every street corner...these scientists however...reason that since a Herring emits a high frequency noise only heard by other Herring...when they FRT...that it must be a form of communication...hmmm...I beg to differ...I myself have released several thousand SBD's in my lifetime...emitting the faintest of sounds upon exit...probably only audible to dogs within a city block...and not once was I attempting to communicate with them or anyone else for that matter...on some occassions this little act causes people to go running...screaming...theres even been a few teary eyed gaggers here and there...but not once was I attempting to convey a secret message to anyone of them...perhaps the Herring are much the same way...they school together in the thousands for protection...one practical joker starts off with a little FRT...knowing that the rest aren't goin anywhere for fear of gettin eaten...and before ya know it the whole school of Herring get in on it...passin gas...laughin it up at the boatload full of idiots with who showed up this afternoon with high tech listening equipment to record fish farts!!!
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