12/14/11

Some toothpastes as well as some deodorants contain the same chemicals found in anti-freeze...

Okay...so what's next...shampoo's and conditioners with the same chemicals as windshield washer fluid...actually I think this proves a valid point...most things considered harmful can actually have positive effects when taken in moderation...this applies to all things in life...politicians...lawyers...  doctors...in-laws...spouses...children...work...diet...about the only thing I think I could tolerate in abundance would be...silence...you've heard the old saying...Silence is golden...yeah...well duct tape...  a rope...and a duffle bag run about $35.00 @ your local hardware...lol...seriously tho...I could almost buy into the idea that toothpaste and anti-freeze contain some of the same chemicals...they're both produced with the goal of cooling down an otherwise overheated...gas combustion chamber...deodorant on the other hand exhibits none of the cooling down characteristics of the other two...it is more of a masking agent...incapable of preventing sweat...it's sole purpose is to keep you from emitting an aura most commonly associated with unbathed cowboys on a 3 week cattle drive wearin' boots caked with cow shit...I doubt very seriously that either of these personal hygiene items shares a synthetic DNA link with anti-freeze...I know...I know...I hear ya...'But Kevin'...they ask in unison...'what proof do you offer to show this information is false?'...It's simple really...I have several friends who are hick-a-billies...rednecks...whatever you wanna label them...and I have yet to see any of them run a vehicle...piece of farm equipment...or crop-dusting bi-plane using toothpaste and/or deodorant as the main ingredient in the cooling system...and believe me if it were possible...they'da done it by now...and even if it is true...I'm sure it's far less a health risk than the daily intake of food preservatives consumed by the average family...not too mention you'd have a multitude of new products...both for the car...and for the bathroom...Prestone Pit and Patch Powder...guaranteed to keep you runnin kewl under the steamiest of circumstances...Colgate Cheermint Coolant...leaves your car feeling minty fresh and emptied headed...of course...what the hell do I know...@ some point in the history of man...some bib overall wearin'...straw chewin'...barefoot hillbilly looked at an ear of corn and thought to himself...I'll bet if you boil this thing down...add some sugar...some yeast...build a metal contraption...call it a still...and drink the stuff that comes out the other end...you can git real f*cked up...think I'm kiddin'...it was probably one of Larry the Cable Guys relatives...hell I'd settle for Tide Toilet Paper...with stain remover...and maybe some color whitener...make that thing look like Michael Jackson's twin...I do know for a fact that you used to be able to make some pretty potent hooch from anti-freeze and White Wonder Bread back in the '80's...actually saw it done...apparently White Wonder Bread contained the same ingredients as plaster of paris...by pouring the antifreeze thru a loaf of Wonder Bread...repeatedly 4 to 5 times...using a new loaf each time...you would filter the chemicals harmful to humans...and the remaing solution was worse than Rocky Mtn. Moonshine run thru an outhouse still...but it was consumable...and NO...I didn't try it...how many times have ya heard me bitch about the idiots @ Jamestown???  Kevin has a 90 day guarantee about such things...you try it on 3 seperate occassions...@ least 4 days apart...and live for more than 90 days...then maybe...maybe I'll try it...all depends on if me watching you try it...resulted in several million plus hit clips on youtube of things you embarassed yourself with...no sir...you'd no sooner catch me brushing my teeth or powdering my pits with a Prestone product than you would squeezing a tube of Crest with Flavor Crystals down the throat of my radiator if I were stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the desert...this one's 50/50...is it even remotely possible...well hell I guess anything is...Capt. Kirk and Spock used to talk using little flip open communicators...much like our cell phones of today...so yeah...it's possible...but until I see a Monster Truck show with Bubba Buford driving a big ass car crushin' machine sponsored by Aim Anti-freeze with Baking Soda and Peroxide...I'm gonna hold my vote!!!