Isn't that odd...Egypt...considered to be a land mass occupied by some of the earliest known humans...forbids the killing of cats...or they did...quite some time ago...NOW I'm NOT one of those braniacs that soaks up information like a dry sponge in a thunderstorm...by any means...but it seems I recall hearing something about the evolution of migration among human beings that basically says that's where we all started...and as we started to become disenfranchised with each other we began to separate and travel...by foot...to other areas of land...until we finally came to a frozen ocean bridge and crossed onto a completely different land mass and soiled it's shores as well...that means that people who cook food in Chinee westawaunts...originally came from Egypt too...didn't they get the damn memo...those bastards serve cat daily...how did that happen anyway...leave Egypt...walk a couple thousand miles or more...settle down...start eating cat...pick up roots and head further east...cross a frozen land mass...and viola'...stop eating cat again...it's either a respected pet...or it's a food source...it can't be both...look around...ya don't see many pet cows do ya??? NO...that's because they're too damn tasty to stroke lovingly at the nape of the neck...why do ya think Buffalo herds were decimated in the olden days...they were tastier than cows and provided more food per animal than cattle did...cats however have NEVER looked tasty in my opinion...we've had several of them as pets when we were younger...and though NOT normally as violently playful as say a Pit Bull or Rottweiler...they can be trained to attack under the right conditions...and believe me...if you piss off the wrong cat...it's like spendin a week in a feminist club during the wrong time of the month...you're likely to get your head separated from your body like some praying mantis prodigy...you're better off avoiding such contact when possible...when unavoidable it is best to skirt around the offended feline at a distance greater than extended claw range...IDK what those damn Egyptians were thinkin' anyway...cats aren't like cows in Calcutta...they aren't worshipped like some demi-god...NOT that I agree with the unnecessary killing of animals that should serve as pets...but let's be realistic...if you let these things run around un-spayed or without being neutered...you're just askin' for more westawaunts than you can shake a stick at...we'll be flooded with cat and pigeon cuisine...I know...I know...you don't believe they use pigeons...ask yourself what is on that stick being advertised as Teriyaki chicken...chicken doesn't look like that...skinned rat does...pigeon parts can also look remarkably like chicken on a stick...smarter advertising is the only thing these establishments have going for them...if they toldja what you were actually eating half the population of China wouldn't even touch it...I have a cat right now...Simba...he's an orange tiger striped tabby cat...he's a mongrel cat if I ever saw one...I think he lives in a couple of different houses as a matter of fact...he often comes home for periods of five minutes...just to say HI...then out the door he goes...off doin what cats do...NOTHIN'...I look at that little bastard sometimes and wonder if he's thinkin' what his eyes are conveyin'..."Hey dumbass...how's life kickin' you in the balls...cuz I'll tell ya what...I've got it made...you idiots feed me...so I don't hafta hunt and fend for myself...I get to come and go as I please...SEX...SLEEP...and EAT...that's all I do...and you morons think you're the smarter race...ya haven't figured out how to live without money yet tho have ya...by the way...I could use a fresh flush at the old water trough...gettin' kinda thirsty and that's the coldest water in town"...Yeah really...that's what I think the little f**ker is sayin' to me every time he looks my way...that's why I mess with him constantly...I'll wait til he is all nice and comfy...sprawled out sleepin on my side of the bed and I'll leap high into the air...land on the opposite side of the bed and send his little ass to Airborne school...paybacks bitch...ya don't carry that kinda attitude around here without payin' a price...here recently he has grown fond of laying at my feet while I am busy working on the computer...a perfect spot to dribble a little water on him while he takes his afternoon nap...and don't feel bad for this pet of mine...we have a reciprocal relationship...he waits until I get laid down for bed and am just about to fall into deep REM before he pounces on my chest and begins meowing until I get up and let him out...and he does it on purpose...if I try to boot him out the door before I go to bed he goes and cries by the window until I let him back in...he hasta be in here long enough to watch me fall asleep before he takes action...so ya see...he deserves the wee bit of torture I subject him to...I'm thinkin' of havin' him stuffed...NOT sure when...might be sooner than he thinks if he keeps givin me cattitude...have a great day folks...enjoy basking in the warm glow of flourescent lighting...while you're cat is home slumbering in the sun!!!
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