...and that alone should tell you everything you need to know about the United States Department of Assholes...seriously...6 MAGGOT eggs or machine separated body parts in each can of mushrooms...what size can...cuz that makes a difference...if that's 6 oz cans...that's alotta dead fly shit in your serving of fungus...Momma loves fungus...big beefsteak and portabello's...mmmm...mmmm...TASTEEEEE!!! Quite honestly I couldn't care less...I've been fed SPAM before...and there's no tellin' what's in that SHIT...hooves...lips...assholes...testicles...and floor sweepings...I'm pretty confident in my body's ability to contain, control and eradicate certain inedible delicacies that the USDA permits to be labeled as consumable food...I have ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER about the authenticity of this tidbit...you wouldn't believe what is considered acceptable in other food products that hit the shelves of the stores you shop in...and guess what...you poor dumbass VEGANS...VEGETARIANS...& LEAF-EATERS have it the worst...where the hell do you think most of the worlds bugs live...in leafy shit...EAT UP...(I hear you whinin' ass salad shitters already..."Animals eat plants...so the meat you get from them has the same contaminents)...NO...it doesn't...animals digest plant life different...especially cows...who have what 20 different stomachs according to some poor idiot we haven't run into yet...so it filters the bugs shit out...which means what people...somebody please raise their hand...don't tell me you don't know the answer...it means...I EAT HEALTHIER THAN YOU DO...because dead animal carcass has less bug infestation...apparently we don't need anyone from the USDA to approve a damn thing for us...if we can digest 6 MAGGOT eggs in one setting...then who cares what the hell else we shove down our gullets...kinda makes you wonder what they allow to hang out in buckets of cottage cheese and shit...I mean look...I'm a HUGE fan of Blue Cheese...and that's clogged with bacteria...so who am I to judge...I also like Kim-Chee which is basically fermented rotten cabbage and some other stuff I'm fairly certain I could care less to know what it is...and the stench is almost horrifically unbearable...but I like to have a little from time to time...helps flush out the system...gets to all the stuff coffee leaves behind...and it's cheaper than that Colon Cleanse formula they offer on late night TV...it'll BLOW THE DOORS clean off the crapper...and I'm just as certain if you ran that stuff thru a strainer...MAGGOT eggs would be the least of your concerns...the USDA needs to adopt their own..."DON'T ASK...DON'T TELL" Policy...you don't wanna know how much shit is allowed in other food groups...kinda makes ya wonder just what the hell it is our taxpayin' dollars are being used for...hiring people to dictate acceptable amounts of consumable bug shit...makes me damn proud to file my 1040 every year I can tell ya that...overpaid pecker-headed sonsabitches...that's more than likely an exaggeration...there aren't a buncha people workin' at the USDA...there's one asshole on a 51 week vacation who shows up 4 days during his work week to make sure nobody has a excessive bug infestation in their daily quota...and he is getting lifetime benefits and health insurance...and more than likely the right can of mushrooms to prove compliance with the standards...the rest of us are being lied to and the problem is probably much worse then we are aware of...NOT that it matters...people in Japan eat RAW fish heads...desert dwellers think goat gonads are delicacies...so I'm NOT gonna complain about a couple of baby flies in my fungus fondue...it's FRIDAY people...SMILE be HAPPY...GRIN like ya hava SECRET...it'll keep everyone else in suspense!!!
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