Really??? So all that information they taught us in Biology class just goes flyin' out the window right??? Growth patterns and genetics don't play a role in how fast a person grows eh...that's amazing...I had no idea that children were like plant matter...capable of growing faster in the Spring...and slowing down in the Winter...I wonder...do children in tropical climates grow at the same pace year round...or are their bodies subject to the seasons even if they don't actually exist on that part of the planet...I'll tell ya...I have a medicinal marijuana card...which allows me to make ignorant comments like the one we're dealin' with...the difference is when I make ridiculous remarks like that...I'm usually surrounded by dumbasses who don't know any better...I don't publish them on the Internet as pertinent facts...if children grew faster in the Springtime...we would have continents full of little people...I mean think about it...Russia...predominantly cold year around...very little Spring or Summer in the uppermost northern regions...and yet...having lived in several different places and met people of every different ethnicity...except Aborigine's and the elephantitis sporting tribal people of Papau, New Guinea...and I'm pretty sure the whole...grow faster in the Springtime thing...applies to PLANTS...not ANIMALS...genetic inheritance is what determines the overall growth rate of any human being...not the reappearance of the sun when the seasons change...about the only thing that grows faster in the Springtime...aside from plants...is my impatience with the idiots who stayed hidden all Winter...why do they think it's necessary to come out when the weather warms and enlighten us with their dullness...children grow faster after they reach puberty...otherwise my poor brother would still need a step ladder to take a piss...that kid was 2 feet shorter than me the entire time we were kids...right up until the time I left home...now he damn near stares me right in the eye...and we lived in mostly southern states when we were growing up...plenty of sunshine...very little adverse winter weather to deal with...and it didn't stimulate a faster growth rate in any of us...this moron makes peanut farmers from Georgia seem brighter than draft dodgers from Texas...how proud his parents must've been when he came storming home to report the latest news..."Hey did you guys know that children grow faster in the Springtime?" Damn am I glad my kids aren't completely clueless...not that I DON'T wish this tidbit were true...I'd open my own midget plantation...complete with irrigation and manicuring gardeners...right next to my newborn nurturing greenhouse...I'd call it..."Pop-em out 'n' Plant-em"...fully grown and work ready kids in 3 months...with our new human hydroponics system...no more raisin' them for 18 years just so they can tell ya whadda terrible job you did...and how much better off they'd be on their own...think about it...don't condemn it...life would be alot easier and less financially burdensome if our kids were ready to fend for themselves in a matter of months...as opposed to 18+ years...I mean...why not expand on the knowledge used for this tidbit and report that...Living in colder climates stunts your growth...what kinda booze-riddled bathroom were you born in there ya bucketta barely functioning brain matter...ya know...I didn't pay attention very well in skewl...I really didn't hafta...which was apparently a blessing in disguise...lookin' back on things...because recent studies seem to indicate they don't teach one single bit of common sense in any of those classrooms...holy crap...I hated biology...anatomy and science...it was boring to say the least...and all those stupid ass periodic tables...seriously...all those damn letters and numbers...for what...to explain to me what makes up water...I don't care...as long as there is plenty of it during my lifetime...and even through all of that I was able to determine for myself...that people grow at different rates regardless of what age they are or the relative temperature outside...IDK...call me crazy...but if the wrong people get ahold of this information we're gonna end up having fields full of kids planted up to their thighs in warm climates all over the globe...it'll be epidemic...governments will step in and pay farmers subsidies to get them to stop raisin' crops of kids...the human slave trade of some Asian countries could be adversely affected...we wouldn't have Chinee westawaunts to visit..."Yu eet too much...Yu pay now"...hell the first time I heard those words I thought the lady was talkin' to her overweight son...and that his name was Yupay Nau...I had no idea she was referring to my 5th trip to the...All Yu Can't Eat Buffet...I'm tellin' ya it'll be an International disaster...countries will close their borders...ship all immigrants back to their native countries...which means everyone here but the Indians will hafta find a new place to live...ya know...on second thought...lemme go see if I can find significant evidence to support this theory... ... ...NOPE...I was right from the get go...this guy is the new Emperor of Idiots...and if you have ever seen...Night at the Museum...you'll get this...(until I return tomorrow)...All Hail...GUM GUM DUM DUM!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment