I find it somewhat puzzling that the author separated Blackberries into their own category...like they were somethin' other than a cell phone...and I also find it somewhat ironic that these have become the most commonly requested beside the body burial items...since they have been making a steady assault on attaining the top overall spot in the...vehicular accident causing death...category...texting while driving has become almost as deadly as drinking and driving...yet ya don't see as many alcoholics wanting to take a bottle of their favorite beverage with them to the afterlife...but cell phones...a definite necessity in the afterlife...gotta stay up to date on what's happenin' while we're GONE...for good...seriously...were ya expectin an important text from someone...didja think ya might be able to send back a message...let the rest of us know what it was like from beyond the grave...I mean come on...at best ya have a couple weeks left before your billing cycle comes due and your phone gets shut off...that is if you're battery doesn't die first...I mean what were ya thinkin'...even if by some miracle you were able to use the device...what wouldja do with it...apparently the navigation system isn't gonna do ya any good...there are NO maps to get ya home from where you've gone...and I doubt either Heaven or Hell has 3G or 4G capabilities...which means your high priced coffin companion is as useless as a paperweight...as a matter of fact it is much like you in your current condition...void of life...unable to perform the simplest of procedures...it is but a shell of it's former self...I've always been surprised by what people will place in a coffin next to their dear departed loved ones...valuable items...which promotes grave robbing in some areas...items that should be kept as family heirlooms...or be kept as remembrances by those that are left behind...NOBODY ever puts anything useful in the casket...why??? Because there is no useful accessories that belong in a casket...the people in them aren't going to be thankful...if anything they are wonderin' what in the hell you put that furry little rabbit's foot in their hand for NOW...it obviously wasn't very lucky for the rabbit...and it's a little too late to be of any USE now...I have a feeling most of the people requesting to be buried with their cell phones and Blackberries...end up being the very ones that die with them in hand during a traffic accident they caused by replying to a text...technology is a sickness when it is mishandled...have I texted before while driving...of course I have...however now that I have a phone with talk to text capability...I send texts while driving by speaking into my phone...while keeping my eyes on the road...the automotive industry has dropped the ball yet again...have ya ever seen what an Air Force, Navy or Marine jet fighter pilot hasta deal with just to fly one of these trillion computation per second capable machines...texting and driving is a joke compared to the things these people deal with on a daily basis...Heads Up Displays with so much sh*t in the way ya wonder how they know they're in a plane...automotive integration is the key...you cannot continue to develop technology without compensating for it across all industries...how hard can it be to take a page out of Hollywood and create an HUD smart phone system for a cell phone...TEXTING has become the new way to communicate...the further technology pushes us to a brighter future...the further it sets us back as a functioning society...it has made us fat, lazy and complacent...this blog is proof...just 30 years ago if i wanted all of you to tune in and pay attention to what I hadta say...I had but a handful of choices...I could write to each and everyone of you on a daily basis and send it through the mail...NEVER knowing if you got the letter...read it...enjoyed it or not unless you took the time to reply...or I could have it printed in a local newspaper out of my pocket and hope to find enough readers...I could write a book and hope someone bought it...15 years ago I could type it into a single email and send it to a number of different people all at the push of a button...trusting that each and every recipient would take the time to open and read it...today I can post this to millions of people on a number of different social networks and reach people I don't even know...have NEVER met and will probably NEVER interact with on a personal level...at the push of a button...which really isn't a button at all...it's a series of computer literate language sequences that are place on a web site to display a certain depiction to those viewing the page...there are advantages to modern technology...my kids don't get away with half the shit I did...if we woulda had this type of technology back in my day...wouldn't have been a good thing...Momma woulda found out the things her 2 boys were up to...I woulda hadda Blackberry buried alright...firmly up my ass with a high heeled boot...I'm kinda thankful for that really...cuz to be honest...if we woulda had this kinda technology when I was a teenager...in conjunction with the stuff I pulled...I'd still be shittin' little brown Androids outta my ass to this day...it's to the point now that if I can't getta hold of one of my kids...I can normally getta hold of one of their friends to find out where they are...and I can't imagine what the future will hold...for the following generations...poor bastards...their thoughts will probably be displayed on their parents smart phone screens...long before they even enter their tiny little heads...preventing them from ever being able to lie or get away with anything...Mothers around the world will finally find out who...NOT ME...and NOBODY actually are...this tidbit does gimme an idea tho...for my own funeral...if I am able to have a hand in plannin' it...Imma develop an application that allows your smart phone to send a text to multiple recipients after a specific amount of time has passed without you own phone being used...that way...if I time it right...half way through the funeral proceedings everyone's cell phone will go off simultaneously...with the same message...LEMME OUTTA THIS F**KIN' BOX...should be somewhat comical...half the people will stop cryin and laugh...others will run for the doors and NEVER attend another funeral as long as they live...but seriously...I don't wanna be buried with my cell phone...I didn't answer it half the time when I was alive...probably not gonna improve that ratio much when I'm dead and gone...I wanna Viking funeral...build a little wooden boat...soak it in kerosene...gasoline...jet fuel...anything and everything flammable...throw my carcass on the funeral pyre...everybody get drunk or high as hell...grab a bow and a quiver of arrows...push me out in the lake...the ocean...whatever...and fire away with flaming arrows...no cell phones or Blackberries necessary...HAPPY THUMPDAY!!!
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