Over $100,000 was spent to finance a study to determine whether people put their toilet paper rolls on the holder with the flap in front or behind. 3 out of 4 will have the flap in the front...
For the love of Pete...this tidbit is proof positive that I have been right all along...there's $100,000 that we won't ever get back...NEVER be able to put to purposeful uses...it's gone...flushed down the proverbial commode of completely useless compilations of Caca...who really gives a flyin' blue f**k how the toilet paper flap sits on the toilet paper roll holder...I would think the more important factor of sittin' on a self flushin' shitter would be the presence of TOILET PAPER at all...I've NEVER sat down at a public or private turd taker and thought to myself..."Oh F**K...the toilet paper is on BACKWARDS"...I'm just happy I don't hafta use my hand...or one of my friends, family members or hosts finer pieces of linen to remove the remaining evidence of evacuation...this does shed some light on the difference between genders...because MEN do NOT replace the toilet paper roll when it is depleted unless they happen to be sitting on the toilet when it runs out...and even then they usually leave it sitting on top of the empty roll or on the back of the toilet...they have very little time to be bothered with the mundane poop removal replenishment procedures of affixing the toilet paper to the holder in the correct way...I wonder how many people actually take the roll off and turn it around just to get the shit off their brown eye...WOMEN are the ones responsible for the results of this study...MEN couldn't care less about how the flap of the toilet paper sits while it is on the roll...the fact that they are able to sit down...inside...and have a wad of something softer than razor blades to wipe their ass with...is way more than enough for them...we are the simpler life forms of the planet...we were happy shittin' in a hole and using leaves and animal pelts for removing rectal matter back when we lived in caves...it was WOMEN that needed a nice little chair to prop their patooties on...if it was up to us we wouldn't even have sewers...we'd just have big old shit pits...gathering holes where people could poop...without worryin' about the flap of the poop paper they use...I think they should redesign toilet paper holders...place the bar vertically...then you can waste another $100,000 tryin to figure out which side the flap usually ends up on...the right...or the left...I can't imagine how proud the author's parents must be...couple hundred thousand wasted on an education for their little anal offspring...so that they could go on to leave their mark on society by determining how people prefer to pull paper designed to wipe the ass and be flushed...I mean it would be one thing if toilet paper was just an adornment...something for show...an aesthetically appealing addition to the area where ass matter was washed down the porcelain poop catcher...but it isn't...it is a viable resource for part of the plop...plop...flush...flush procedure...it doesn't need to be pretty and in it's place prior to being sent to the nether regions of an individual rectum...it needs to be effective...capable of preventing penetration from prodigious digits on the poop scoopin' plant hand...I don't get it...maybe I'm completely off base here...but couldn't that money have been better spent on something else...a cure for some disease...a new toilet design that eliminates the need for toilet paper or a toilet paper holder...I mean seriously...is it any wonder we're gettin our asses handed to us in the technological sector...other countries are conducting studies aimed at furthering humanity...we're f**kin' around with a wad of waste paper to see which way the flap should go...$100,000 discovering how pretty poop paper can be...did it ever occur to this moronic mage of butt mudd that the prettiness of the poop paper doesn't solve other problems...like clogged commodes...broken seats...back splash from epic episodes of immediate evacuation...I guess I'm more baffled by the fact that they spent $100,000 on a study of this nature...how in the hell does it cost $100,000 to knock on a handful of doors or place a few phone calls just to ask the question...statistics being as bloated and misleading as the are...I think I woulda called 4 or 5 people...got some useful information and pocketed $99,997.15...paid off my student loans and picked a new field of study...preferably something that doesn't consist of playin around in other people's potty palaces!!!
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