MOBY DICK!!!

The age of a whale can be determined by counting the layers of its earwax growth...

Hmmm...so what you're saying here old genius of the giants of the deep...is that you have absolutely NO idea what the hell you're talkin' about...whales are mammals...NOT plant life...they aren't trees ya herbalohypocrite...ya can't just tell how old something is by counting the layers of earwax it grows...I mean seriously...I know they don't have Q-Tips or fins with opposable thumbs to use them...but HELLO...we are in the Ocean are we NOT...and what do oceans have...SPONGES...pretty sure they can figure it out on their own...don't judge me either...this idiot started it...and sometimes...tho I try very desperately NOT to try and sink down to their level and duke it out over dumbness...I just can't help myself...I just wanna dribble their chin off the floor like their heads were basketballs...bounce some sense into them...ya know why ya can't tell how old a whale is by counting layers of earwax...they seldom sit still long enough...they are skittish around humans...because much like elephants...they have a very keen memory and a way to communicate with one another...and their stories of interaction with those that walk on land has NOT been a very enjoyable one...They don't tend to float around boats waiting to be weighed and aged by idiots with big sharp pointy things that promote death...and don't gimme this crap about finding them on the beach and doing the study there...the math still doesn't add up...because here's the thing...the idiots dreaming up this grand detail of age discovery were NOT present during the birth of the whale and therefore have NO idea how much earwax is actually growing per layer...as far as this assbag knows it might take two years to grow a single layer of earwax...which throws off the entire calculation...and I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts that the waters of the ocean are no different than the air qualities associated with different land based areas...which can only mean that some soupy mixtures of salt and H2O are more potent and probably create more earwax buildup...and I would dare say that there has got to be ways they remove their earwax over time...these creatures live for several years or decades...be kinda hard to hear each other if they let that shit go for a couple decades...it would be flowing out of their canals like cauliflower...ya know how ya CAN tell how old a whale really is...buy one as a pet right after it is born and keep it in the pool out back until it dies...cause short of that YOU ARE GUESSING...you cannot use confined creatures kept in captivity...the elements of the water they swim in is NOT the same as the saline solution they would be subject to under normal natural settings...counting layers of earwax in whales...I musta missed that class...probably because it wasn't offered as a legitimate resource for discovery...holy crap...where do they even come up with this crap...I mean there has got to be some serious failure going on in our education system if this is the best we can come up with...I suppose all those TAGGING efforts are unable to determine the lifespan of a whale eh..gotta resort to clawing around in their ear canals when ya wanna know how old they are...it strikes me as odd too because seldom do we worry about how old a whale is...the SIZE seems to be the BIGGEST concern we as humans have when we are in close proximity to the beasts from the deep...NOBODY in the history of man has ever said...WOW...didja see how OLD that whale was...he could barely creep along with those arthritic fins...NO...what they say is...HOLY SH*T...did you see how BIG that SOB was...three football fields long if it was an inch...another common myth associated with fables of fishing...retold with exaggerated emphasis to make things appear as though they were in greater jeopardy than they actually were...this is one of the reasons you shouldn't always believe everything you HEAR on the internet...you're NOT careful you'll end up with a French Model of your own...eh Bonjour!!!