FLORESCENCY OF FROGS!!!

Frogs sometimes eat enough fireflies that they themselves will glow...

hmmm...using this same assinine logic one would assume that people who habitually shove their heads up their asses should come out smelling just as shitty if not shittier than the ideas they found while combing the vast caverns of their caca-chute via la cabeza...what absolutely illegitimate bastard child of boogery came up with this conclusion???  Ya know what makes me call BULL-frog-SHIT on this material...perhaps it would be the fact that frogs...you remember those little creatures from science class we all had to dissect before the invention of the internet and colorful detailed depictions became available of the process...these amphibious creatures are found where???  Generally speaking we find them close to bodies of water...why???  Because as genetic make-up would have it...frogs lay their eggs in moisture rich environments...bodies of water...stagnant or flowing matters not to the toad...and where in general do we tend to find fireflies???  Most of my personally conducted excursions for finding fireflies involved using a glass jar and vented lid for capture and containment...in conjunction with wandering through open fields nowhere near a body of water...I thereby conclude that unless a frog happens to be frolicking across an open expanse of land to get from one pond to another they stand very little chance of enjoying a glowing air borne inset as part of their daily dietary regimen...does that mean fireflies CANNOT be found in environments suitable for hoppity hops habitation...NOT by a long shot...of course you can find fireflies in close proximity to the wet areas where frogs lay in wait for supper...(I know what your thinkin'..."well if that is true, then why else is is NOT possible for frogs to become florescent if they gobble on a bunch of glow flies"...STOP getting ahead of yourself...I'm gettin' there)...frogs are ill equipped for florescency for one simple fact...NON-TRANSPARENCY of flesh...frogs can't glow regardless of what they consume because the contents they ingest are kept cloaked in a non light emitting organ called the stomach...and here's a really simple way to verify the FACTS about frogs and their inability to glow from foods they eat...FROGS have 4 teeth...which oddly enough...have NOTHING to do with eating...but are instead using for gripping during acts of fornication...they therefore do NOT chew their food...but swallow it whole...which is why they prefer small insects...easier to swallow...less throat obstructions...(I know...I know...how does that prove they won't glow from eating fireflies...I'll tell ya...you guys can be pretty impatient at times...RELAX...I'll explain)...you've all seen those neat little glow stick thingamajiggies...ya buy them at the county fair for the kids...what is the first thing you notice about them???  They are contained in a hard plastic body...why???  Because if they crack open they leak and everything they come into contact with will also glow...interesting concept really...when you stop to think about how that might apply to frogs and their firefly eating habits... why you might ask...because the concept is generally the same...while a firefly does NOT have a hard outer plastic shell protecting its glowing parts from spilling all over the place...it does have a solid body that must be punctured with relative force before any of the florescent fluid will spill forth and cause ANYTHING else to glow...FROGS...as we now have come to realize do NOT chew their food...they swallow it whole...after which it goes through the inherent metabolizing effects of a frog's digestive system...a process which takes significantly LONGER to complete than would poking a hole in the ass of a firefly...and here's the end all be all reason a frog CANNOT and will NEVER glow from ingesting an abundance of glowing insects...the glowing part of a firefly happens through bio-luminescence...a process that requires three key components to be present at all times...an enzyme...a substrate...and OXYGEN...and what happens when a frog swallows a firefly for supper...well quite honestly...and obviously...it removes OXYGEN from the equation...thereby permanently extinguishing any and all signs of florescence within the firefly within a mere matter of minutes...I therefore draw my conclusions thusly...in order for a FROG to FLUORESCE from the simple act of feeding on FIREFLIES...they would have to swallow dozens...if NOT hundreds...of these deviant deletable members of the insect kingdom in a single GULP...that being said...I could be mistaken regarding this information as it came to me under the influence of medicinal plant matter... so you may want to consult with someone of lesser intelligence from the local scientific research and study program of an educational facility for programmable thinking...(that would be your high school science teacher)...you know...the idiot that attended just enough college to confuse the students in their classroom without actually being able to deliver ANYTHING of significant value...aside from enticing teenagers to explore and experiment with each other sexually...but that folks is a rant for another day...I hope you are all enjoying your Monday morning as much as I am...seeing as how at the time of this writing it hasn't arrived yet...I will letcha know how mine goes...just in case you are one of those that feel the need to compare your livelihoods with those around you in an apparent attempt to make yourself look better...trust me...it isn't possible...there is only ONE of me...the rest of you must suffer the experience of being less than perfect...and for that I offer my sincerest apologies...I am kidding...unless of course that statement offended you in some way...in which case...suck it up buttercup...you just won a prize...a Do-It-Yourself Makeover kit that comes complete with an empty revolver and one bullet...use it wisely!!!