TALK ABOUT THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND!!!

If you are in total darkness for three days and three nights you become permanently blind...

...believed NOBODY in the history of science or medicine...why???  Because if that were the case there would be more blind people than optically enhanced humans running the Earth...think about it...where do you spend the first 9 months of your life???  In the womb...a dark and murky area that attempts to confine you...can you see while you are in there???  Chances are...probably not without the presence of light close to the belly during the final trimester...however what happens when you erupt through the vaginal birthing canal...LIGHT...SIGHT & SCARY masked people poking...prodding and slapping your ass...here's a little known fact for those that dwell in the dark corners of illogical thinking...human evolution...takes years to accomplish NATURALLY...(it has been hastened from time to time by extra-terrestrial visitors)...but all in all...it took millions of years to climb from the caves and build an infrastructure like the internet...3 days and 3 nights of absolute and total darkness is something that has been endured and documented by a number of POW's...and remarkably MANY of them retained their ability to SEE...about the ONLY thing 3 days and 3 nights of TOTAL darkness is going to accomplish is hyp0er-sensitivity to light when re-introduced...what a shining beacon of brilliance this thunder muffin of misinformation must be...I am constantly reminded of what a LOVE/HATE relationship I have with the internet...remember the good old days when you hadta go to the library to look for information???  EVERYTHING on the shelves was categorized accordingly...useful sh*t fell under FACTS...diatribes from DUMBASSES like this dipshidiot were listed under the FICTION heading...nowadays I'd generously estimate 50% of internet users are direct descendants of the blond bimbo in the State Farm commercial...believing that..."they can't put anything FALSE on the internet"...I mean holy crap...read an article in a science or medical magazine once in awhile...there are several areas of experimentation going on to cure blindness...cornea transplants...stem cell research...any of that ring a bell there ya below average being???  I personally love the darkness...during the warmer summer months it is my favorite time to be out of the house...simply because there are far less F**KTARDS to run into...ya know what happens when you are kept in total darkness for 3 days and 3 nights???  You lose your sense of time...you bump into shit...you might injure yourself...or you have been abducted and need to FOCUS on getting out of a bad situation...you're probably being held captive by some...the Hills Have Eyes inhabitants..which in and of itself is far worse than going blind...ya know what happens if you shove your head up your ass for 3 days and 3 nights a la this individual???  You lose your sense of smell as well as your ability to manufacture anything other than shitty ideas...I'll tell ya...there are days...(many more than not)...that I just wanna run out into the water and pull the damn plug...drain the gene pool and start all over again...I have my own 3 day 3 night theory that might help people like this imposter of intelligence...wanna hear it???  I thought ya might...I propose that poorly educated puppets of this nature subscribe to a process of keeping their mouths shut for a period of 3 days and 3 nights...yeah yeah yeah...they might be a little famished when they are provided with food...but it will prevent them from appearing as though they have a higher number of eyelets on their shoes than the score of their IQ test...IMLTHO...(that's cyber speak for...In My Less Than Humble Opinion)...the Guardians of Google need to step up the search engine specifications and assign labels to categories for websites...IDC what they call them...FACT/FICTION...REAL BEEF/BULLSHIT...I hafta use search engines to conduct research for my work...I would love to be able to weed out all the wildly worthless websites that congest the internet...hell even hafta the crap you find on Wikipedia has little captions stating [citation needed] or help improve the page...for every page you find supporting facts or theories you can find just as many debunking it...ya damn near need to be Inspector Gadget of the Internet to sift through the ass loads of illegitimate ignorance asshats place on websites...I wish it were that easy to affect blindness in human beings...I'd have a bevy of elbow bumping zombies bouncing about this planet...try OPENING your mind...NOT just your eyes...when faced with data ONLY the offspring of Dubya should beleive!!!

HAIRLESS HAIRCUTS...OH MY

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced to the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men at 25 cents...

...and that should be all you need to know to keep from moving to Louisiana...2 things are blatantly disturbing about this little piece of prolific info...first and foremost...apparently there is an abundance of follicle challenged f**ktards in the state that visit a barber shop...and second there appears to be an abundance of unscrupulous barbers that are NOT only willing to dilly dally on a chrome dome but are also enticed to charge more for their efforts that could possibly be warranted...NOT many people suffer complete baldness on their cabeza...those that have an absence of cranial coverage normally ELECT to shave their heads bald for personal reasons...they do not visit a barber shop since they can take care of personal grooming techniques all by themselves...IDK when this little follicle fallout bill was passed but in the event it was passed before the invention of inflation...say in the 1920's...then that original quarter...at today's exchange rate...comes out to $1,958,436.00...(don't judge me...we deal with people that make shit up every day...it's my turn)...I love it when I hear currency comparisons of that nature...it makes people go...WOW...in reality .25 from the 1920's would be worth $2.87 on today's market due to inflation over the last 83 years...the REAL value of money comes from the collector sector of the industry...that same 1920 quarter in BU (Brilliant Uncirculated) condition can fetch anywhere between $155.00 and $3,135.00 depending on mint mark...pretty sad and revealing when numismatics will pay more for an old coin than your neighborhood bank would be willing to part with...what's even funnier is that there are no conversion charts at the places we spend money at...if your bald ass walked into a barbershop in Louisiana today...sat down and got a haircut...reached into your pocket...pulled out a 1920 Silver Liberty quarter in any condition to pay for your purchase...you ain't gettin' any change back...even a dollar bill printed in 2010 is worth $1.09 in 2013...so how in the hell do you get that extra pocket change from your old money???  You DON'T...it's a numbers game the federal reserve employs in concert with the government to justify raising prices and taxes...but we are straying off course here a little bit aren't we...here's the underlying problem you don't see when you read this terrible tidbit...the State government in the great state of Louisiana allowed a bill to be introduced regarding the highest price a bald man should pay for a haircut...as noted that price was capped at a quarter...25 cents...how much taxpayer money paid for these elected officials to sit around a table...debate the pros and cons...and vote on a decision whether or not to pass it??? I dare say significantly more than 25 cents...and for what??? An issue of unimportance...and this same procedure is magnified at the federal levels of government...just take a look at the dumb shit they are wasting our taxpaying dollars on today...still shoving around GUN CONTROL issues...have been for over twenty years...and for what??? IDK a single gun owner that is going to take their gun cabinet full of weapons to the local county office and hand them over...especially without compensation...and how many millions of dollars has this war on personal gun ownership added to the national debt???  I mention this for one very specific reason...the Dick Act of 1902...also known as the Militia Act of 1903...which was a bill introduced and passed by Congress that CANNOT be repealed...to do so would violate bills of attainder as well as ex post facto laws which would be yet another gross violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights...this bill was passed and PROTECTS personal gun ownership and SUPPORTS the 2nd Amendment...so we have basically watched our hard earned money get spent debating stricter gun control issues that CANNOT be enacted...tragic really when you think about it...let's say that little illogical Louisiana law cost the taxpayers $10,000.00 and let's say for sake of argument it was passed around 1920...that money was added to the national deficit...(yes state deficits are lumped together with the nations)...we can safely assume due to the governments inability and inadequacy in handling economic matters in the current era that they LEARNED this tactic from those in office before them...and in turn we can assume this money was not immediately repaid...it was therefore subject to those two magical words from the finance sector...INFLATION & INTEREST...the funny thing is that interest always trumps inflation...it's set up that way to keep those in control of the money comfortable and those needing money suffering and struggling...and who benefited from this bald haircut bill...NOBODY...even the bald guys that took advantage of this ruling paid taxes far exceeding the $0.25 they spent on each haircut...that is why it pays to PAY ATTENTION to bills being introduced and discussed in the chambers of Congress and the halls of the House...even if you do NOT think they apply to you...they do...all taxpayers pay for them on an annual basis...take a look at the Feinstein bullshit that ignorant bitch is trying to push through...banning personal ownership of guns for EVERYONE in Amerika that is NOT in political office or military uniform...IDK about the rest of you...but the last time I remember reading something about a nationwide law passing system of this nature...a HOLOCAUST followed shortly after!!!

COLOR BLIND HYGIENE HABITS

More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones...

This makes absolutely NO sense...sure toothbrushes come in an abundance of colors these days...they're NOT all identical like their bamboo and boar hair bristled cousins from ancient Chinese antiquity...and people do tend to have a favorite color preference when selecting objects for personal use or possession...but in order to make a statement of this nature and have it stand up to intense scrutiny you would need to conduct a statistical data collecting survey of global proportions...I hate when these idiots spend five minutes in the personal hygiene department of a general merchandise store watching the shopping habits of a few consumers before making uneducated and misinforming assumptions of this nature...it just promotes laziness...a lack of effort...and a complete lapse of logical thinking among those that stumble across the shit they provide...how do they know that outta the 10 people they watched buy a blue toothbrush...5 of them weren't color blind...2 of them didn't give a shit about color they were more concerned with style, shape and configuration of the bristles...and that the other 3 couldn't find the hue from the color palette they truly desired...DUMBASSES...now... had this mental equivalent of a midget mud wrestler made a statement such as...'More people use blue tooth devices than red ones'...I'd praise them for their propensity to point out the obvious...of course more people use blue tooth devices than red ones...because NOBODY has decided to establish new technology of a similar nature under a different color combination...and the name of the color in this situation does not actually refer to the shade of the device...as I work from home...and often have the T.V. on in the background for noise pollution...I tend to witness an abundance of advertisements during commercial breaks...and by the looks of all the enticements I see for veneers and dentures...crowns and caps...new innovative dental procedures...whitening strips and techniques...I'd venture to say that MORE people neglect using a toothbrush of any color altogether...personally I hate dentists...dental offices...or anything to do with professional oral corrective procedures...those asshats apparently take a barbaric butchering class as part of their studies...you'd think after several years in practice they would have come up with a way to perform painless techniques that don't leave you droolin' all over your damn dungarees...or cause you to produce denim diamonds when your sphincter slams shut every time they drum up the drill...you know how some people have an absurd fear of clowns...well dentists are the things that make my dreams turn to nightmares...and make NO mistake about it...I do NOT have one of those shiny Hollywood grills you see on the silver screen...bar room brawls...roller hockey fights...and joining the USAF took care of that...I didn't have a cavity in my cranium until I enlisted in the service...after which I soon learned what it meant to be government property...we were forced to visit the dentist for a checkup regularly...and in many cases...Yours Truly among them...used as guinea pigs for training new officers as dentists...even if you used an assortment of toothbrushes that encompassed the entire spectrum of the rainbow...and brushed your teeth to the point you were in jeopardy of wearing away enamel...you were going to have a cavity that needed filling...they don't care how pristine your puss is...they need practice dummies to perfect their horrific techniques...before they depart the service themselves and make a small fortune carving holes in the oral bones of civilian citizens...ya know who this information is useful for???  FOLLOWERS...COPYCATS...PEOPLE that can't make a decision for themselves... real people are less concerned with the color of their dental decontaminating device than they are with the comfort and performance of the piece...don't act like the rest of these idiots and subscribe to pack animal mentality...separate yourself from the herd and think for yourself!!!

NOT YOUR EVERYDAY JUICY FRUIT!!!

The oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9,000 years old...

While that is an interesting morsel of information...it leaves one very obvious question unanswered... has it been used or is it still in a wrapper...because honestly...any wadded up piece of bubble gum stuck to the underside of a classroom desk will look like it's 9,000 years old...wanna test this little theory out???  Who has been given credit for inventing chewing gum??? Here's a hint...it wasn't some ancient Egyptian mummy...or other worldly being from the times of antiquity...it was John B. Curtis or Thomas Adams in the late 19th Century...depending on who you ask...which pretty much kicks a wide hole in the ass of this information doesn't it...prior to this invention indigenous people around the planet found plant matter and material to use for their mind numbing monotonous masticating habits...the Greeks called their material Mastiche which they derived from the resin of the Mastic tree...NOTTA gum...but a ball of resin...the Mayans sucked on sap from the sapodilla tree and chewed on it laboriously throughout the day...now IDK about the rest of you folks but if my Juicy Fruit tasted like nasty old tree sap I doubt very seriously they would retain my interest as a gum chomping connoisseur...I am personally amazed at the lengths people will go to in order to dream and drum up a new idea...at some point in human history...apparently across several ethnicities the village idiot of the bunch decided to stick tree sap on their tongue...what would possess a person to do this... common sense should be enough to indicate that the viscosity of the fluid emanating from a tree is much thicker than water...so it wasn't in an attempt to quench thirst...which I could understand...even if I couldn't accept it as plausible...you know what causes animated creatures to take such actions??? Curiosity...for the most part...especially early on...when ignorance was a blessing...and technology didn't interfere with ill-advised research and discovery practices...most of these people had one thing in common...even the native North American Indians that chewed on sap from spruce trees...the desire to find mind or mood altering substances in nature...they knew what animals could provide valuable life sustaining food sources...they were also aware of what kinds of vegetation were edible and which were toxic or poisonous...STOP for a second and think about that...let's take one group from the above mentioned list...what is the stereotype associated with native American Indian tribes???  That's right...they are most commonly linked to being the earliest peyote eating alcoholics on this continent...it goes without saying that peyote was more prevalent in tribal settings than alcohol before settlers arrived on the eastern seaboard...and how do stereotypes come into being???  through the obvious and repetitive actions of a given group within a society...they are famous in the modern era for bringing bows and arrows to a gunfight...losing said encounters on the battle field and being granted massive amounts of land that they can live on outside the laws that affect the rest of us...you and I do NOT apply stereotypes to them...THEIR ACTIONS do that all by themselves...so one would be safe in assuming that the invention of gum resulted from the haphazard search for hallucinogens...either that...or Pocahontas dropped the papoose causing Little Feather to have a head injury that wouldn't be recognized until he was found foaming at the mouth beneath a sap secreting Spruce...and guess what???  That isn't even the worst part of the scenario...the gum chewing champion of misinformation that elected to defile their family name by submitting this abundance of ignorance...has no excuse for existing...any gum chewing goofball with Google coulda figured out the facts with five minutes of research...which brings me to the dismantling of yet another common household phrase..."It takes a village to raise a child"...what horseshit...it is the responsibility of the additional villagers to persecute the idiots among them and remove them from the collective gene pool...as soon as villagers discontinue raising ignorant offspring that drink from a well familiar to only one family...then DUMBASSES like Dubya won't have the opportunity to murdelate words...facts and opinions...wake up people...witnessing an idiot in the wild is a prime opportunity to get on board with my...Banish the butt nugget breathers program...I mean seriously...who on Earth has ever heard of a..."Survival of the fittest" format...that involves facilitating excuses for saving those that have fallen off the damn turnip truck...perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I do NOT have political aspirations...I can't imagine what it would be like to live on a planet where everyone was required to have an IQ equal to or higher than their age!!!

RAIN BOOT WRANGLING!!!

The World Record for Rain Boot tossing is 179.14 feet...

Well now isn't that interesting...I can think of two professional football teams that could use this record holder...one happens to be in Detroit and the other in Dallas...and although Detroit finished with a far worse record for the season than the Cowboys did...the citizens of Dallas are NOT as attuned to suffering long periods of mediocrity...so they get first dibs on this Dilbert...whoever it is...I don't get it really...why is it that in this day and age ANYONE with half a banana for a brain can set a World Record doing something NOBODY else ever thought of???  I mean...am I missing something here???  Is there an International Rain Boot Tossing Championship???  NO...NOT even in the Special Olympics...which can ONLY mean one thing...this individual stands alone on the Podium of Patheticism...World Record holders should be common household names...ANYONE know who the current Rain Boot tossing turdball is??? EXACTLY...and I hafta jump up on my own soapbox here for a minute...because in my lifetime sports idols and icons from all corners of the sports industry were subject to some of the most intense anti-doping testing on the planet...just take a look at current events...Lance Armstrong ring a bell???  He's all over the news for finally coming forward and admitting he had BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS as part of his battle with TESTICLE CANCER...what a cheating bastard...he decided to try and SURVIVE at all costs...and IDGAF if he took steroids or performance enhancing drugs to ensure the longevity of life...or if he did it simply because he wanted to gain and maintain an edge on the competition...look it's very very simple...major sports franchises focus on one simple factor...WINNING...well everywhere but in Detroit...all competitive endeavors...sports...war...business...revolve around a common goal...to WIN at all costs...Imma huge fan of several different sports...Football...Baseball...Hockey...Golf...Surfing...just to name a few...and I hafta be honest...especially where baseball is concerned...I would rather go to a game and see someone like Mark McGuire or Barry Bonds hit a thundering shot over the right field stadium wall and out into the SF Bay any given day...because it enhances the experience of going to the game...if I'm gonna be sitting in the stands...paying $8.00 for a 50 cent hotdog...$10.00 for an 8oz. cup of beer that's ONLY 3/4 full...you better put a product on the field that makes me wanna come back for more...I think it was assinine and blasphemous for the BBWAA to neglect the opportunity to enshrine ANY player into the Hall of Fame this year...the basic theory of anti-doping testing is to keep the games clean and pure...to provide a LEVEL playing field for everyone that makes the Grand Stage...whadda bunch of BULLSHIT...one of the claims being made is that HGH and Creatine supplements that players like Mark and Barry supposedly took...and really there is NO doubt that either of them took these drugs...just look at their Rookie Cards compared to the ones issued for their final seasons...both were twigs when they made the majors...and MAMMOTHS when they left...anyway baseball gurus believe these supplements not only caused abnormal muscle growth but also assisted these players with enhanced vision capabilities...they were able to SEE the ball better than others...SFW ( So F**kin' What)...how many OTHER players wear glasses??? and here's the thing that REALLY pisses me off with the whole baseball HOF system...they don't wanna damage the game by including modern day drugged players in the hallowed halls of the Big House in Cooperstown because they CHEATED...how many pitchers from the past have made it into the hall of fame...dozens...if not hundreds...and while these players may or may not have been using drugs...it wasn't tested for back then...imagine that...but what they did do was use EVERY trick of the trade at their disposal...lubricating the ball with vaseline...spit...whatever they could come up wiith..and for what???  To get an advantage over the opposing teams hitters...it doesn't matter if it's drugs or material modifications...CHEATING is CHEATING...and there isn't ONE single person involved with a competitive endeavor that ISN'T looking for an advantage...if you are NOT cheating you are NOT playing to win...I mean hell I even cheat when I can...as a matter of fact I just finished my first Do It Yourself eBook...it's blank and comes with a pen!!!

A SEXUAL SUCCESS STORY

John Harvey Kellogg thought sex led to leprosy, tuberculosis, heart disease, epilepsy, dimness of vision, insanity, idiocy, and death, so he created Corn Flakes as a food designed to promote health and decrease interest in sex...

and there ya have it folks... a fabulous fable about forbidding f**kery of any nature...and let's be honest here...this can be seen as nothing more than a success story...because NOBODY in the history of cereal killers has ever scarfed down a box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes...and thought to themselves...Boy I'd sure like to plug the soft velvety patch of garden beneath those knickers... why???  Because Corn Flakes are eaten by old people...you know...like some of my readers...who are so damn old they couldn't get that soldier to stand at attention if they propped him up with both attached duffel bags...a handful of popsicle sticks and a roll of duct tape...you have NO business thinking about sex as anything more than a distant memory...so when the little lady wants to get frisky after the age of fifty...eat a big old bowl of Corn Flakes and take a nice little afternoon nap...seriously though...ya know who thinks that sex leads to leprosy...TB...heart disease...epilepsy...loss of vision...insanity...idiocy and even death???  Two kinds of people...very intelligent salesman that have a product they would like to promote as a snake oil type solution to cover a multitude of mental as well as physical health issues...and those that possess OCD in one or more forms...I mean you hafta stop and consider for a moment the absolute genius behind Mr. Kellogg's claims...especially given the social climate of the time...very little was known about many of these health issues when John Harvey came up with Corn Flakes...which I might take a moment to mention...are the BLANDEST...most TASTELESS forms of cereal on the market...you hafta assume that when they were initially launched the target audience was minimal...children didn't like them then and still don't know...adults didn't like them because there is more flavor in the cardboard box they came in...and old people didn't want them either...so whaddaya do with a product destined to fail???  You use the oldest device in the bartering bag of tricks...you enhance the image of your product by making it appear useful and necessary...you advertise it as a preventative product...who at that time wouldn't believe some of these claims...leprosy involves rotting...decaying sores of the flesh that scab over and fall off...somewhat similar to certain strains of herpes...TB causes shortness of breath...rapid intake of air in a wheeze sucking motion...depending on your deviant sexual desires and your current partner and level of performance...if done correctly sex results in these same symptoms...heart disease???  Who hasn't has that one simply blissful moment when they thought their heart was just going to explode from all of the excitement and exercise...epilepsy consists of erratic and unscheduled convulsive episodes...multi-orgasmic women who are enjoying the current sexual session can exhibit these same characteristics...it can sometimes be enhanced even further through the use of alcohol...marijuana and certain twisted sexual devices such as electric shocking nipple clips and vibrating penis rings...(psst...now is the perfect time to look at the face of someone else reading this tidbit...if they are redder than Rudolph's nose after a three week bender...they use these things in the bedroom)...dimness of vision...sex itself does not normally cause dimness of vision unless you are mating with a malnourished desert dweller...it does however...on occasion...cause one of the participants to pray for blindness...this usually occurs when you leave the bar at 2am with what you think is a perfect 10...only to wake up at 10am lying next to a solid 2...especially if your arm happens to be wrapped underneath IT...kinda wanna make ya gnaw that particular limb off just to avoid waking her up...be careful though...you'll hafta gnaw the other arm off so she doesn't eventually wake up and start searching for a one armed man...insanity and idiocy go hand in hand...both groups of people drool all over themselves and others...they make retarded comments as a standard form of communication...great sex causes the same traits to pop up...you'll know you've been more than satisfying if she hasta change the pillow cases...or starts screaming out sentences that make you think she has tourettes...and death involves the absence of life...which can also be associated with sex...you self pleasuring masturbatory types should know all about necrophilia...you've been mating with an inanimate object for most of your lives...and NO...NEITHER of your hands constitutes a living organism...listen if you die from having sex...it doesn't matter how old you are...you should be heralded as an icon...cuz let's face it...there are a million ways a person could pass away painfully...but firing off a final load isn't one of them...I hope I made your day!!!

ALCOHOLICS & AUTOMOBILES!!!

Jack Daniels bottles are slanted to keep them from sliding out from underneath the car seat when pulled over by police...

Okay...before we get started with the tortuous toddler minded tidbit...I have some very exciting new to share with all of you...who have been faithful readers for so long...and supported me mentally...if NOT always financially...I applied for an editor's position with a company that boasts over 1,000 digital and physical print magazines...I did this without the hope of even being considered...since I did NOT possess the same overpriced shiny pieces of paper as the rest of the applicants that were also applying...as part of the application process I was given an article to EDIT and spice up...out of over 90+ highly qualified...and I might add...at this moment probably VERY upset...individuals that were vying for this position...the EDITED article I submitted warranted a response in the form of an initial phone interview...at the scheduled time of the interview I received a call from the employer...the interview was extremely brief...and I was informed that we would have to reschedule the remainder of the interview for later that afternoon or evening...(did you hear the death bell toll...I sure did...figured that was the last I would hear from them and that they had decided to accept someone else...needless to say the rest of that day passed without a return call...I woke up the following morning...which was Wednesday of this week...and checked my email as I normally do to see if I had landed any other projects to occupy my time with...the first email I noticed was from the company that I had applied to...(yeah...that's what I thought too...you SOB...couldn't even tell me on the phone that you were gonna go with someone else more qualified)...instead it was an email informing me they had heard enough and that I was hired...with zip file attached...so as of now I am NO longer bidding on useless projects that pay very little...I will be working 40 hours a week and then some for a modest hourly rate for the rest of this month...the phone call I received today...after turning in a few of my initial assignments informed that as soon as next month they would like to discuss offering me a salaried position...what's the moral of this story???  PERSEVERANCE!!!  NEVER...NEVER... NEVER sell yourself short or give up...NOW...about this idiot with the misinformation about alcohol containers...if a bottle were specifically designed to prevent a sliding effect when a vehicle is being brought to a STOP after being pulled over by the police...it stands to reason the damn thing wouldn't have fit under there in the first place...it's really rather simple...IF something fits into a vacant location...it WILL be able to be removed...provided it doesn't have the possibility of swelling or expanding...have another drink there ree ree...and here's the real kicker that proves this moron's mother is the ONLY one that could love them..it is NOT illegal to drive a vehicle with a bottle of alcohol in it...it's ONLY illegal to drive after drinking from the bottle itself...you DUMBASS...here's a novel idea...maybe the bottle was designed as NOTHING more than a way to transport smaller quantities of liquor as opposed to the whole damn barrel...having been an imbiber of this spirited beverage from time to time and knowing a little more about history than this mental midget will EVER be able to figure out...the Jack Daniels Distillery came into existence in 1866...at least 3 decades before ANYONE could even think of drinking and driving...since the automobile was a figment of the imagination in 1866...and seein how fire water was a huge bargaining tool with the native indigenous tribal people of America at that time...it ONLY made sense to modify how it was distributed...rather than trade a whole barrel for a couple of rifles...distributors and bartering agents could get more for their booze in return for the trade...you know what will keep a Jack Daniels bottle from sliding out from underneath the seat if you should get pulled over...STORE it in the trunk...take it from me...I've witnessed this technique firsthand while riding in a vehicle with an individual that personified alcoholism to a 'T'...although they were not actually driving the vehicle...it was their preferred method of travel...when they were sober enough to enter a vehicle of their own accord...listen...if you're driving around with a bottle of Jack Daniels under the driver's seat of your vehicle...you have far greater problems than worrying about being pulled over by the police...like being scraped up off the freeway at some point...have a great weekend folks!!!