ASTRO-CLIMATOLOGY 101

Winds on Saturn can reach speeds of 1,100 miles per hour...

That is interesting in so many ways I don't even know where to begin to start...I have so many ideas floating through my head it's gonna be one of those shootin' fish in a f**kin' barrel kinda days...so bear with me...funny how wind speeds on Saturn can reach 1100mph and yet all the ancient civilizations considered Mercury to be the fleet footed messenger of the gods...somebody missed an astronomy class...Saturn was a god of agriculture... liberation...and time...Father Time in other words...with little concern for speed...since he could adjust time to meet his needs...fast...slow...or at a standstill...that little morsel of interplanetary nomenclature for planets would therefore entice logical thinkers to postulate that perhaps the wind speeds are not actually in the 1100mph range but appear so due to the hastening of time ancient civilizations thought that planet was capable of...more than likely due to its elongated orbital flight path around the Solar system...unlike several of its astral neighbors that had a more concise and easier to document rising and setting during the seasonal changes here on Earth...NEXT...lemme point out what should be obvious to everyone with an IQ above the 2 digit middle identifier of the SSN...climatologists on this planet...Earth...the one we live on and are most familiar with...have a long lopsided history of F**KIN' up the weather report on a daily basis...and they have billion dollar instruments and equipment at their disposal...what does that tell us???  If they CANNOT accurately predict the weather here...how in the name of Uranus can you believe anything they have to say about wind speeds on Saturn...last I knew Voyager simply made an orbital pass...I do NOT recall it launching a spear shaped wind sock holding device into the soil of Saturn...the dumbest part of this equation is the definition of planetary wind...as in wind on every other planet but Earth...it is described as the outgassing of chemical elements from the atmosphere of said planet into outer space...outgassing...I like that...stellar flatulence in other words...the expelling of gases from the atmosphere to outer space...how the hell do you measure that through a telescope from trillions of miles away...especially when you can't even tell me what the hell is going on in the funnel cloud of a tornado with an accuracy...NEXT...the author assumes that Saturians operate much like Americans by thumbing their noses at the metric system which has been adopted by every other civilization on planet Earth...and more than likely the entire galaxy...what a shining example of how to be so full of yourself your head swells...I mean with wind speeds of that magnitude why NOT beef them up a bit by saying they reach staggering heights of 1770.278 kph...it's much more universally awe inspiring...NEXT...recent scientific shenanigans have made it possible for some in the less than accurate with information community hypothesize that the speed of light is NOT a known constant...since we base all other forms of speed off of this information...who truly knows what how fast planets pass gas into the vast reaches of outer space...these people are a step above Bigfoot Hunters but ONLY because they wasted enough money to get a degree in...IDKSHITOLOGY...they couldn't find their asses if they had maps to it printed on the palms of their hands...yet they can confidently proclaim wind speeds of other planets...don't get me wrong...there is a place for science within society...it is an educational format for discovery...but the bullshit meter for theories muddies the water of factual findings...to put it simply...if you can't show me a hang glider screaming blue mercy while soaring through the skies of Saturn strapped to a sheet being tossed around at 1100 mph...save your trumped up theories for the Weather Channel...I don't watch that shit...and NEVER will so long as I have the ability to cognitively recognize the view from my front window...moral of this story...there are idiots among us...and will continue to be until such a time as we collectively implement my selective gene pool screening certification system...people without proof for their theories are the biggest pollutants on this planet...and don't try to flip that around on me...I do NOT prove my theories because they more often than not incorporate logical thinking parameters that keep me from looking too damn mentally challenged to mount a thought worth mentioning!

ASIAN INSECT SUSHI

Termites will follow a line drawn by an ink pen...

 ...and who is the genius behind this little morsel of information???  Why it would appear as if it came from the honolabuh Kolean scilentist...a leal Einstein of his ela...Doctol of Maline Biorogy...Un Duh Da Seah...whose part time hobbies include...insectrah gatheling...to accomplish this feat the honolabuh doctol Seah uses Japanese Saki soaked sushi to att...att...att -lack (I think he means attract...not real sure...let's see where this goes)...telmites...(you can push #1 for English at anytime during this post...and I will fong you like the little hyper red-headed dude in A Knight's Tale...there will be pain...lots and lots of pain)...as you are all aware some sushit (and NO...that is not a typographical error...have you tried this stuff...it's like kim-chee and fish emulsion wrapped in seaweed that smells like soiled dirty diapers)...consists of squid...that ink emitting amazing creature of the oceans aquarium...so I believe what the narrator is attempting to suggest is that this discovery was made while the good doctol was disposing of his leftover lunch by an enormous termite hill...I could be wrong though...it isn't too farfetched to imagine this coming from one of our very own federally funded fiascoes...where they authorize triple digit millions to further study interesting concepts like...brain mapping...while simultaneously singing songs of sequestration from the political pulpit...prophesying the outcome of this disastrous plan before spending a single dollar...one would hope...pray or at least think you would want brain worth mapping prior to setting aside millions of taxpayer money for a project doomed for failure...am I the only one that sees the irony of this cesspool system...where cutbacks are somehow always replaced with additional exercises in unnecessary expenditures??? What the hell is going on in this country today...if you woulda told my Grandpa Rebec that the federal government was spending his hard earned taxpayer dollars to fund research to determine if termites would follow a line drawn by an ink pen...he woulda gladly grabbed that pen in both hands and drawn a line with it...from the floor through your asshole to such depths you'da sworn you were being invaded by a microscopic insect once the termites trickled across your teeth...I abhor how passive the population has become...I am just waiting for the day when they announce the results of the testing conducted to see if cops actually waste more time at donut shops...than they do harassing people because of their inferiority complex...but I will be honest with you...I am hoping that this tidbit is factual...not that I have any termites of my own that I want to train for the flea circus...but it has given me an interesting new idea that I may just market...of course I will hafta do some checking with the copyright and patent people to see if I can even pull this off...but hell it may just be worth the time and trouble...don't tell anyone but here's the plan...Imma invest my life savings in Bic...that's right...the pen manufacturer...they already have all the ink dispensing products one could ever need...one I have control of the company through share holding acquisitions...I am going to corner the market on the termite extermination industry...I'll use the valuable skills I obtained through door to door sales techniques working for the Kirby Company...and walk from house to house selling personal pocket termite protectors...f**k off it'sa new niche...don't criticize me...95% of people who read that tidbit at another site are going to believe it without batting an eyebrow...some of them are at home right this minute drawing exit ramps for the termites to vacate the property...why wouldn't I try and maximize potential and earn a profit...they buy that bullsh*t they'll buy my pens at a slightly higher markup...it's economics people...supply and demand...as I now own the pen producing plant...I control the supply and therefore the price...NO I didn't take a class in economics...open your eyes you play the game everyday...usually at a higher rate than you should...seriously...you laugh now...just wait and see...in the near future there will be KMW's handheld termite eradicating tools in every household...please don't ask for a discount...I can ill afford to support the dumb...if you are waiting for the products to come out...you obviously misunderstood the meaning of this paragraph of pancakes dripping with syrupy sarcasm...Have a Great Weekend!!!

THE DEPTH OF DARKNESS!!!

If you were born during the day, chances are you're a boy. If you were born at night, chances are you're a girl...

so sayeth the dipshit...so sayeth the mentally depraved...thus we must enjoy heated debate on this subject...listen if you were born during the day...chances are you have seen the light and are aware of all that is unsavory upon this Earth...if thoust was born at night...chances are you are still sitting around with your head up your ass listening to the natterings of those with an inherent lack of logical and cognitive thinking...I was born at night...and not just any night either...but Devil's Night...the darkest of nights if ever there were such a thing...and I am neither ignorant...nor do I require sitting for the purpose of vacating liquid waste water from my bowels...coincidentally my daughter was born during the day...and my sons at night...and while I view many of the things they do as assinine and ridiculous...they are far from ignorant...perhaps not as street wise as I would prefer...but book smart to beat the band...could they brawl their way out of a street fight like their old man was fond of doing back in his day...probably not...but there are sacrifices we make when raising our children and I do not regret a one of them...well I take that back...I'm really not fond of being stuck in Northern Michigan...but that is of my own damn doing and I'd rather not get side-tracked into relating that episode in ignorance...suffice to say I have learned from my mistakes and with a "do over" button I woulda moved an equatorial sand strewn beach environment before raising kids...(note to self...if reincarnation is proven to be an actual commodity associated with the afterlife...come back as a permanent resident of a sun soaked seaside society)... now I could be way out in left field here...but if memory serves...and that's a big f**kin' IF these days...(I got Momma visiting www.i-got-the-heimers.com on a daily basis...and it may not be long before I am waiting on site before she gets outta bed and does her daily duties...p.s. go ahead and click on the link it actually works)...I seem to recall from science class that the sex of a baby was determined by something other than the abundance of light...or lack thereof...I believe it was chromosomal in nature...something to do with the genetics of the couple having intercourse...in conjunction with fast moving semen swimmers ...or as I like to call them...egg penetrating penis projectiles...while most infants are conceived during the absence of light...it is not unheard of for barren female fallopian tubes to suddenly secrete ovum while the sun is shining..as a matter of fact...if historical data from the '60's is accurate...there was an enormous amount of free love that resulted in fertility functioning as it should...taking place during the hours of daylight...in public places no less...ya damn hypocritical heathens...it was alright to sink the pink in a park back in your day...with the whole world watching...but good lord don't abide by it now...your children would be corrupted by sexual practices opened to all of society...and if ya buy into that bullshit I have an overload of porn statistics I could throw your way that seem to indicate those you were aiming to protect...are keeping their habits hidden...not because they are embarrassed...but because you would be...I do not visit porn sites...NEVER have...but if I did...I would be hard pressed to determine how in the hell people get into half those positions...I mean far be it from me to point fingers and ridicule...but is that expression of agony...the ball gag...handcuffs...whips...chains...titty tuggers...and penis ring really necessary...that looks more painful than pleasurable...you might be doing something wrong...I mean if that's what you are into...then by all means do NOT let me dissuade you...especially if it's my number you are calling as a potential partner...I would be curious to learn the fine art of fascistic fornication forums...I may be slightly out of it or completely unconscious after it...but I am all about providing others with pleasure...even if it means sacrificing my perspective on pleasure punching the pouty parts of the female body...judge me all you want...I told you I was born on the darkest night at the beginning of this blog...if that wasn't enough of a forewarning you haven't been reading here for very long...was it Richard Pryor who said..."Snort some Coke in a pile"...or am I confusing that with Bill Cosby saying..."Have a Coke and a smile"...either way you get the idea...if you were offended... relax..chances are I wasn't referring to you...(unless of course this is your personal f**king forte...in which case requests for my personal number can be directed to the comments section of this blog and will be replied to if photographic evidence of a revealing nature is attached)...aren't you glad you stopped by today...beats the hell out of a lukewarm cup of coffee to get ya going in the morning...doesn't it???

ALMS...ALMS FOR THE BLIND...ALMS!!!

More employees are injured in the meat packing industry than any other line of work...

Why do I not find this hard to believe...I mean every male that attains the age of 10 knows that merely touching the middle appendage of the meat sac can lead to blindness...and you ladies wonder why we won't STOP and ask for directions...we can't see in the first place...how the hell do you think we ended up lost anyways...(honestly I must confess I was absolutely thrilled to find out that wasn't true...I couldn't figure out how I was gonna tell my folks that I had suddenly lost my eye sight due to an accidental brushing with the beaver beater)...aside from blindness meat packing pud pullers must also be concerned with the possibility of contracting CTS (Can't Touch Shit...aka Carpel Tunnel Syndrome)...what is it with those pansy ass people that get carpel tunnel syndrome and act as if the world is ending...I mean seriously...they act as if anything heavier than a fart in the wind is going to cause them immense pain...CTS can be a very revealing issue associated with the flesh flute fondlers all over the world...especially if it is ONLY evident in the dominant appendage...there is a simple solution to this situation however...I learned it way back in the day by watching the WWF...and applying a "tag team" format for my methods of manual manipulation...one eyed worm wrestling wranglers also need to be worried about the onset of the dreaded..."tennis elbow"...a misnomer if ever there was one...how about we just call it what it is..."Jack-off Junction Degeneration"...listen folks...if a male member in your family is walking around the house with one forearm looking like Popeye popped a few cans of steroid spinach and the other looking like a vegan would mistake it for an edible vine...Jack-off Junction Degeneration is the least of your concerns...that guy is gonna need some serious..."Shuffle Pump Reconstructive Surgery"...there are signs to look for my friends...if you're husband/boyfriend/f**kbuddy spends so much time in the bathroom it seems like a WWII reinforced beach bunker...they have some serious issues in the sexual depravity department...if your person of significant interest plays pocket pool better than Paul Newman in The Color of Money...chances are he is chalking his cue in public every chance he gets...if your bed buddy comes walking out of the water closet looking like the modern day equivalent of Aqua-man with webbing between his fingers and toes...I dare say he has invented his own form of Gorilla Glue...watch out for shiny spots on the sheets they quickly morph into sticky substances similar to Super Glue...another sure sign that someone is headed for a major catastrophe of the trouser trout variety is if they seem to run out of socks long before the rest of their clothes...filthy bastards we are...letting little Sammy the Spelunker spit all over the soiled shin sheets we place over our feet...personally I don't punish the pope as much as I used to...I hire handmaidens for that...I'm either too busy or too lazy to do it myself...haven't decided which...but I must admit...it is much easier to clean up if you don't use your own hands...oh shit...here I am...rambling on and on about playing with peckers and you were waiting on a meat packing piece...funny...I wish I had a video camera so I could watch all of you try to find signs of self-satisfaction with your spouses this weekend...what fun what fun!!!

BLUE-EYED BEER BELLIES!!!

Blue-eyed people have a higher alcohol tolerance...

...utterly and profoundly ridiculous...assuming that eye color has any bearing on alcohol tolerance...I have blue eyes and while I am quite capable of diving head first into a binge I dare say my tolerance and taste for alcohol is NOT what it once was...I enjoy a beer here and there...maybe a shot of some foreign happy hooch on occasion...but sitting around drowning my sorrows in a bottomless beverage container is NOT high on my list of things to accomplish today...tomorrow...or for the foreseeable future...it's too bad that I and my blue-eyed brothers and sisters do NOT possess an abundance of patience...or tolerance for stupidity...it would make life easier on mental munchkins like the one that proposed this asshat idea...WTF is it with people today...how hard is it to think for yourself...I mean holy sh*t folks...there's an overload of ignorance taking place here in America...has been almost since history misinformed us that Columbus was the first to skirt the shores of this continent...and it starts at the earliest of ages...I mean who reading this was NOT educated in US History while in their formative years??? Ask any average sponge sucking citizen "Who discovered America?"...and 90% of the time the answer is gonna be 'Columbus did in 1492'...really??? So the indigenous tribal people of native American descent...where did they come from again??? If they didn't somehow 'discover' this place before Columbus...how the hell did they get here just ahead of him...were they in the water swimming and towing the boats behind them...NO...everywhere I look there are inconsistencies in information...politicians would have you believe that the 1st Amendment protects "free speech"...to include the disbursal of info on the internet...a technology they couldn't possibly have envisioned 200+ years ago...yet these same mental equivalents of political pocket lint would have you believe that the very next clause of the Constitution...the 2nd Amendment...only applies to muskets...because our forefathers couldn't possibly have envisioned the advances in firearms manufacturing technology that would be prevalent some 200+ years later...I wake up most mornings wanting to shoot people in the forehead with a common sense cannon...blue-eyed people have a higher tolerance for alcohol indeed...a person's level of tolerance for alcohol is directly associated with the amount they imbibe on a daily basis in an escalating fashion...I know blind people that can chemically corrupt themselves with far greater passion and purpose than I myself ever dreamed of being able to achieve...one of the largest concentrations of stereotyped alcoholics happens to be our native American brothers...it has been well-documented throughout history their penchant for 'fire water'...hell they took the guns we gave them and traded them for booze...making them easy targets for atrocities and relocation...and yet very few...if any full blooded native Americans have a blue hue in their optical receptors...NOW...maybe if you were born and raised on some Nordic ice field you might make the assumption that those blue-eyed...blond haired pre-nazi's were more capable of tolerating alcohol...but if that were the case I dare say WWII on the European front would have been much easier to win...drop a few barrels of spirited beverages among Hitler's henchmen and wait for them to sleep it off...and what is alcohol tolerance anyway...when you tolerate something you endure it...you put up with it...you deal with it even though every fiber of your being suggests it would be far better off to just abolish the object...substance...or what have you...take me for example...I have an extremely low threshold of tolerance for idiots and ignorance...ask anyone that knows me personally...I do NOT sugarcoat my feelings regarding f**ktards...I've no use for them and find them repulsive...mind numbing meat sacks that are doing NOTHING more than sucking up more oxygen than is needed...they are the primary suspect in any global warming theory I subscribe to...without these air gobbling ass wipes the Earth would be more capable of correcting any harmful affects associated with greenhouse gases...blue eyed and beer bellied my ass...blue eyed bullshit burial artist is more like it!!!

HOME...HOME ON THE STRANGE!!!

It is illegal to get fish drunk in Oklahoma....

ya know I hafta laugh when I see laws of this nature...I hafta sit back and wonder to myself... what caused the legislature in Oklahoma to pass such a bill into law...were there an abundance of idiot Oklahomans runnin around grabbin up fish and forcing them to drink alcohol...was it considered a right of passage such as cow-tipping...or ring-n-run...prank phone calls and stuff of that sort...or has the legislative body in Oklahoma been secretly keeping tabs on yours truly and his blog entries...finally coming to the conclusion they would not support ridiculous scientific studies of the effects of alcohol on fish??? Or perhaps this tidbit holds a grammatical error...the addition of a word that does not appear in the actual letter of the law...see if we remove the word "get" from the sentence above...the law would then make a little more sense...or if you remove the word "fish" then one could see where the law might be on the books in dry counties around the kingdom of Oklahoma...and to be honest with ya I don't really understand this law...fishing and drinking go hand in hand in the southern states...how do ya think we come across all those stories that begin with..."Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." we rely on the inherent abilities of hillbillies and rednecks to provide us with the humor needed to get by in our otherwise mundane daily lives...hell it happens even up here in the great white tundra of northern Michigan...why I have relatives who are locally famous for their expeditions during hunting and fishing seasons...NOT because they land the biggest trophy animals and fish for the year...but because of the things they BUILD to accomplish such tasks...one of my Uncles erected an aerial hunting blind that has been mistaken...on more than one occasion...for a DNR Forest Ranger lookout tower...this thing is so enormous it can be seen from satellites circling overhead...hell you can probably find it on Google maps...the platform for this hunting haven breaks through low lying cloud cover...suffice to say that hunting from said high rise hacienda requires the intricate knowledge and abilities more commonly associated with snipers...you hafta be able to read and adjust for windage... the coriolis effect...spin drift and bullet drop...hell with the right magnification you can hunt the shores of Wisconsin from this thing...and they didn't STOP there...another of my relatives...from the same lineage mind you...constructed a pontoon boat that one could ONLY liken to the missing artifact from the show Beverly Hillbillies...a double decker flotation device complete with hammocks and enough added weight...just launching this thing into the water without tipping it over or sinking it was a challenge that shoulda been annotated in one of the Guinness Book of World Records...amazing feats of ingenuity...perhaps...I often wait to hear what they are going to do next...because NOTHING beats walking around a small town having the familiar associates of the village stop you on the street and begin a conversation with..."Hey did you see what your (insert family member here) did?"...It is the highlight of my afternoon...but seriously...I am NOT above my blood sharing relatives...for I also do things that would probably make entertaining YouTube videos if NOTHING else...and often without taking the time to consider what might happen...the difference is I do them on a small enough scale as to remain unnoticed by the surrounding community...why just the other day I found myself standing outside with an ice hoe trying to knock 6" thick sections of ice from the roof of my house that were overhanging the eave by about a foot...NOTHING wrong with that right??? Until you realize you are standing there in a pair of Joe Boxer sleeping shorts and a pair of flip flops...NOT the best attire to make a rapid get-away from aforementioned sheets of falling ice...thankfully I was able to escape any serious injury...personally I don't see the problem with getting fish drunk...I mean it's completely up to you...but there are easier ways to marinate fish in an alcoholic concoction...without appearing dumber than the fish itself...there's probably even a few recipes you could find on the internet...you know that funny little TV looking thing you can't figure out how to use because it doesn't have a fish finder on it...that nifty little device could save you some embarrassment on your next outdoor endeavors...I suggest getting a third grader to help you navigate one of these technological tools...they appear to have the upper hand in the intelligence of the internet marketplace...I swear...each and every damn day I grow to abhor the assinine advances of technology...I mean seriously...isn't the whole purpose of these damn things to make life easier...I can't even use photoshop anymore because every time they come out with an upgrade half the shit you were used to now requires 40 more steps to accomplish...I woulda thought by now the damn things would be able to read your thoughts and respond accordingly...and don't even get me started on Search Engines...what a crock of shit...who was the illegitimate prodigy that came up with these godawful contraptions...how damn hard can it be to give me results pages with the EXACT WORD FOR WORD SEARCH CRITERIA I ENTERED???  When I type in "Northern Michigan Redneck Inventions"...why does the first results page contain a laundry list of pages with those 4 words listed anywhere within the website...such as a listing titled "How gods come to be" with a snippet that informs me the page contains "Neo-American Redneck Buddhist; Location: Frozen Northern Michigan near Thunder Bay...invention is one of the later stages of creation"...is that what the hell I was looking for...there should be maybe 3 pages total listed on the return...we don't have an abundance of inbred redneck hillbillies up here...why would we need 400 pages of results that have NOTHING to do with the original search criteria...and the problem isn't just with major search engines...for my job I hafta scour free photo websites to find images to attach to the things I write or edit for others...for the love of god...when I type in a specific search criteria give me what the hell I want...even YouTube...good lord...I know the name of the band...I know the name of the song...when I enter it into the search window...what on Earth pray tell...sends the signal that I want to see EACH AND EVERY damn video copied...with a shaky...grainy replication of the original video...recorded with a piece of shit camera from a 90's style cell phone...give me the damn original video...the one shot for the song...by the band...recorded by a professional...if I wanted to listen to crappy replications of the original I would have asked for them in the first place...it can't be that difficult...I enter KEYWORDS in a specific order..return results of the same description...when I go to a big box store and cannot find what I am looking for...I approach a representative of said establishment...I then politely ask them if they could point me in the direction of said desired item...for instance..."Excuse me ma'am...could you please tell me where I might be able to locate a copy of the DVD "Sleeping With The Enemy?"...do you think for one minute they drag me to the bedding department...or to the gun section of the sporting goods section...NO...because that is NOT what I am after...the same should apply to operating effectively in the realm of cyberspace...and here's the rub...IDK when this law was passed in the fabulous free wheeling fish intoxicating environs of Oklahoma...but apparently it was prior to the invention of the internet...since the most relevant answers received during research indicate that the majority of fish found on the planet are incapable of getting drunk...the introduction of alcohol...it would appear...has a highly lethal effect on the fish found on this planet...it KILLS them...at least according to most of the accounts I spent less than 30 seconds reading...which...if I am NOT mistaken seems to be the end result of undertaking a fishing expedition in the first damn place...because lemme tell you...this whole catch and release philosophy is just retarded...it's like going to the damn grocery store...loading a shopping cart full of products...standing in line for hours at checkout...paying for all items...then spending the rest of the afternoon running around the store placing everything back in it's proper place on the shelf...the whole catch and release concept derived from piss poor fishermen relating stories of the monster they caught and returned to the deep...perhaps the patrons of Oklahoma need to brush up on their biblical studies...as it would appear that Jesus himself was fond of converting water into wine and having fishes and loaves night...stands to reason he was wise to the demise of getting fish drunk!!!

PSYCHOTIC SLURPIES!!!

People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn... 

That's probably due to the fact that you can't yawn while drooling all over yourself...ya know I am often amazed at the aspects of an issue people find fascinating enough to put out as factual tidbit evidence...now I ain't sure bout the rest of y'all...but I seldom give a shit if the psycho I am staring at yawns...my attention has been drawn to them because they pose the potential to back a screw out and flip shit without forewarning...very seldom do I sit in silent observation of that big sumbitch over in the corner with the scar running thru his eye and down his cheek to see if he is tired or lacking oxygen...NO...my main concern is monitoring his movements...is he sitting there plotting revenge on his treasonous lover and her new bed buddy??? I'm fine with that...his focus is occupied elsewhere and I need not be worried about what else he is doing that day...is he sitting there hating life and everyone in it...silently plotting his 15 minutes of fame on national TV because his Momma didn't pay enough attention to him when he was young??? Well then I am placing myself and those with me near the closest possible exit...when his eyes cross...snot flies from his nose and steam erupts from his ear sockets...I'm GTFOD (Gettin' the F**k Outta Dodge) before anyone else in the general vicinity...I'm runnin until my shoes sport holes in the soles my friends...screw stickin' around to be interviewed...I view psychotic sumbitches the same way I do bears...it is NOT necessary for me to outrun the bear...just everyone else in the immediate area...let those slow of feet be the snacks...save your ass and live to fight another day...now I know that NOT everyone with a mental disorder has a form of psychosis...and let's be honest...everyone on this planet...at this juncture of human history has some form of psychosis...and most of us yawn...(I know what you're thinking...but Kevin...I have NO mental disorders...how unjust of you to stereotype me as such)...and if that did actually run through your mind...it proves my point...that you do INDEED have some form of psychosis...people with mental disorders do NOT realize they have them...at least for the most part...they think like you do...that EVERYTHING they do is NORMAL...and that the rest of the world is suffering from some sort of delusional drama...ask yourself a few test questions...Have I ever done anything in life that was so embarrassingly stupid I wanted to keep it to myself or at least as secret as possible??? Do I consider myself closer to the level of genius than I do those around me??? Do people often invite me out to social events because of the stories involving my name the following day??? See the thing is what one person may consider to be a mental disorder...another might consider normal or above average in the areas of intelligence...we can't all be right...and in many cases the fine line between being dubbed a drool bucket or a genius is so thin tachyons have trouble landing on it...in my opinion the number one cause of mental disorders in America is mass media and their myriad of misinformation...and when you throw technology into the mix you get a very clear picture of just how DUMB we have become...I mean holy crap...kids these days are being programmed to think as they are told...rather than being instructed on the beauty of thinking for themselves...I am ashamed of myself for allowing my children to be schooled in the fine art of collective conscious think tank formats...such as those found in public schools...I am appalled at the fact that every organization that has a hand in being part of the big picture in government informs our future generations that all the answers to life's little questions can be found on the internet...if the entire World Wide Web crashed tomorrow and had NO hope of being brought back online...you and I are going to find our homes filled with our own adult kids who CANNOT function because Facebook and Google are gone...what this nation needs is future generations full of ship righting boat rockers...such as those from my Momma's generation back in the heyday of the 60's...those people rallied and protested across the nation for their freedoms and beliefs...they didn't sit glued to a computer screen waiting for the next Top Story to post on some damn social network...yes technology has it's place but if you do NOT integrate it with common sense and the ability to think for yourself...then your kids are likely to become part of the OBESITY EPIDEMIC...NOBODY these days wants to go against the status quo...primarily because they FEAR the big brother format of federal government...they will be judged as mentally defective and possibly placed in restraint and shipped off to a holding cell to await sentencing to a mental institute...they fear repercussions against themselves or their families...they fear being investigated by the FBI...and I'll bet you and yours are included in one or more of these categories...and that my friends is the biggest form of mental disorder on the planet...it isn't the children born with a dysfunction or disease...it's you and I and our dumbed down mentality regarding how we are being trained to OBEY EVERYTHING THEY SAY WITHOUT RAISING A SINGLE QUESTION!!!  Enjoy the video and have a great weekend!!!