SEAMEN SWILLERS!!!

Russian submarine designers are building submarines out of concrete. Because concrete becomes stronger under high pressure, they could settle down to the bottom in very deep water, and concrete would not show up on sonar displays...

Well now...aren't we all slightly dumber this morning just from having read that...I know I feel like I just failed kindergarten for coloring outside the lines...holy crap...yes new technologies have developed higher strength concrete products...however they have the same NON-floating characteristics as those of previous generations...and concrete of any kind is porous...full of little pockets of air...even high strength concrete such as that used on our roads...comes apart pretty easy with a jackhammer and that shit is usually 4" thick...so you can imagine the 80' thick concrete walls one would need to build a submarine...would they settle to the bottom in very deep water??? Yes they would...and without the use of a motor...which should help avoid detection...as for these subs not showing up on sonar...well sonar equipment performs many different functions depending on how it is designed and used...it serves an echo location device similar to that of dolphins...in which the originating source transmits a signal...Single Ping...this sound wave emits in 360 degree fashion...it bounces off all metallic objects in the area and reflects a measurement of distance back to the source...some sonar units take depth readings to map the floor of the ocean below and anything on it...organic or otherwise...kinda like your Cabela's Fish Finder...I mean how ridiculous...trying to build a submersible out of a porous material...what are you going to do...cover it with Thompson's Water Seal...dipshidiot...let's see...man crawls from cave...man enters the Stone Age...man discovers that stone like substances sink rather than floats...man build boat out of wood...man progress through ages upon ages...man use stone for building...man use stone for weapons and ammo...man still prefer wood for watercraft over sinkable stone...man enter modern age...man build bigger boats out of metal...man still not build watercraft out of heavy porous material in the stone category...and then what...the Russians figured it all out...the day someone builds an armada of submarines out of concrete will be the day I show you how to find sunken boats close to shore...look at modern concrete technology...ROAD BUILDING...SKYSCRAPER CONSTRUCTION...what do all of these methods employ??? Expansion joints in their finished products...that's what...because concrete like so many other man-made products of this nature flexes...it expands and contracts with changes in weather...hell a 3" thick side walk will buckle from the mere presence of frost beneath the surface...drastically less pressure than one would feel at a depth of even 20' underwater...so even if you could build a submarine out of concrete it would have to be so massive sonar would be the least of your worries...sound from the massive mechanical propulsion system would give you away long before a beep on the sonar screen was even called for...you then have the logistical nightmares of maneuverability...something that enormous is a straight line transport...it would take damn near the whole ocean just to turn it around...fitted with expansion joints that line the body of the beast like yard lines on a football field...you would need a Russian bail out bucket brigade working around the clock in overlapping shifts just to keep the damn thing buoyant...but then again what do I know...Russia may have mastered building fighter jets outta Saran wrap...you know that light weight material with radar evading capabilities...but I'm guessin that since our own US Navy Fleet uses asphalt on the flight decks of aircraft carriers because it is more flexible and less likely to buckle under the abusive forces of the sea than concrete...that the Russians aren't getting very far in their efforts...and to be completely honest...who cares if they are successful...Russia really hasn't been a threat since fracturing and falling apart...their position at the World Table of Dominance has been occupied by China...hell North Korea and Iran are a bigger global threat than that cub-less Mother Bear and her Vodka swillin socialites...not too mention the effects of salt water on everything it touches...concrete would be subjected to rapid deterioration at the molecular level...which would be multiplied and magnified when coupled with the drastic changes in atmospheric pressure from diving and rising...I did actually Google this and as ridiculous as it sounds there have been studies conducted to manufacture these very things...which means that they have already wasted money on a bad design plan...I've never understood man's inability to figure things out by looking at nature...I mean I am by no means the all knowing authority on construction vessels for underwater exploration and exploitation...but I have watched numerous programs on the Discovery Channel where people with assloads of money develop these tiny one to two man submersibles that allow them to dive to some of the deepest depths of the world's oceans and they always make these things out of crushable metal...yet when they get down to those depths never before reached by human kind...what do they see???  Aquatic lifeforms that are able to withstand enormous amounts of atmospheric pressure...and what are these creatures made out of...gelatinous flexible body parts...shit that bends and flexes...and yet NOTTA single light bulb goes off in any of their little pea brains...I mean hell...I'd have more respect for ya if ya invested money studying the making submersibles out of latex or rubber...get the guys at Goodyear and Trojan to work together on the project rather than calling Kirk the Concrete Contractor...at least then we could rest assured that a tragic situation at sea wouldn't result in 'seamen' staining the sea bed!!!

THE SOUR POWER FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!!!

Eating lemons makes you live longer...

...hmmm...funny thing is I don't recall this being ANYTHING my dearly departed grandmother adhered to...and I'm NOT entirely sure she is gone yet...even though I did attend her funeral...I thought that lady was gonna be giving my eulogy when I finally succumbed to eternal sleep several decades from now...and the ONLY thing she hadta say on the subject of living longer was that it was a rather simple and easy process...when I asked her what that was...she replied...STAY THE F**K OUTTA HOSPITALS...well the 4 letter 'F' bomb is mine...I inserted that...but the rest is very true...people of her generation didn't go to the hospital back in the day...they lived on the farm and doctor's were summoned to the cleaner and less bacterial infested confines of the resident rather than subjected to the swimming cesspool of diseases found in hospitals...I do my damned best to follow suit...I don't wanna go to the hospital unless there is a bone protruding at an awkward angle through the elasticity of my flesh...and even then I only wanna go if the bleeding hasn't stopped in time for me to prevent going unconscious...outside of the idiots found in most public classrooms...doctors and hospital employees...(most NOT all)...are completely f**kin useless and clueless...there has NOT been one single instance of a personal hospital visit that has resulted in me NOT having to explain something extremely obvious to the rest of the world...when my oldest son was born...the mental midget that caught the kid as he popped outta the birthing canal...clipped off the umbilical cord...handed me the shears and told me to..."cut the cord"...(this was while I was in the USAF employed as Law Enforcement)...so my immediate reply was..."look dumbass...I'll stay outta the operating room...if you agree not to run around trying to arrest people"...basically you do your job and lemme do mine...this asshat then proceeded to sit idly by as if NOTHING else out of the ordinary was gonna happen that day...needless to say the observation of a baby being born was tragic enough...I immediately began instructing the nurses to shove him back inside he wasn't done yet...blue/grey...covered in mucous blood and embryonic fluid...I knew exactly how that poor f**kin' farmer out in Roswell, NM musta felt when he stumbled across alien life forms...apparently that wasn't enough...because without so much as a word...twinkle in his eye...or other noticeable inflection this guy grabs a stainless steel dish...slides it into place and VIOLA...out comes the afterbirth...how I remained upright and conscious is beyond me...and then when he started poking around in it as if he was testing the texture before flopping it on a grill for dinner...I hadta choke back lunch more than once...but let's revisit the initial tidbit with regards to the all powerful sour solution for long lasting life cycles shall we...here is the first...and really ONLY clue you need in order to debunk this illogical quest for "intellumination"...(that's a word I just made up...it basically refers to those idea-less idiots that are waiting for the light bulb to come on)...now for the clue...STOP at a grocery store on your way home or while you are out running errands later...visit the fruit and produce section...search for lemons...there they are...all gathered together in a neat little bin ready to be picked up and purchased...now look at the price tag...can you afford to purchase one or more of these little yellow fruits without needing to take out a 2nd mortgage...sacrifice the children's college fund...and/or taking out an additional loan using donated organs upon your death as part of the payoff procedure???  Chances are if you are like me you can afford as many as you want on any given day...so how does this prove that eating lemons will NOT add calendar years onto the end of your life cycle??? I really shouldn't even hafta mention it...but I will...if you can afford lemons...and as we have proven most of us can...(those that can't would still be able to shove a few in their pockets)...then it fails the "commercialization of valuable commodities" test...in other words...if there was proven and documented scientific evidence to support the claims of longer life from eating lemons...they would NOT be affordable...NOR would they be kept in open air containers with little security...major pharmaceutical companies and big brother government wouldn't allow them to be on the market...as a matter of fact if this tidbit were true at all...WE wouldn't even know they existed because the FDA would have acted on the behalf of the government and confiscated every tree capable of producing them and issued pamphlets the following day to all citizens explaining that the plant itself had suffered extinction...lemons make you live longer...dipshit...they're a garnish for bad tasting tequila ...which is a solution that acts in direct contrast to living longer...good lord...I wish eating lemons resulted in living longer...I'd ingest enough of those shiny yellow fruits to have sunshine shooting outta my ass!!!

FUNDAMENTAL LACK OF FOCUS!!!

The door to the vault of the U.S. Gold Reserve in Ft. Knox, Tennessee weighs 20 tons...

If you read the title you might already know where I am headed this morning...and it sure as hell isn't anywhere near Tennessee...the absolute LAST place on Earth where ANY gold is kept...holy crap what a serious fundamental failure of focus...for one...who cares how much the door weighs...it's on a HEAVILY guarded American military complex...which in this day and age of the NEVER ending war against a faceless fear mongering foe known as "terrorism"...your civilian ass isn't getting anywhere near being on the base itself...and if they treat this complex with the same level of attention as they do SAC bases in the USAF...your very presence along the fence line of this installation will provide you all of the immediate unwanted attention possible...most notably in the form of armored response vehicles with turret mounted automatic weapons...you remember the ones they want you to fall over and give up freely along with all of your other gun powder products...and if by some miracle...(see Disneyland cuz you're dreamin' but hey I'll play along...your dumbass brought it up)...you happen to get past this first line of defense...rest assured there are HEAVILY armed Tactical Fighter jets in close proximity...on base in fact have been since being deployed as a support squadron for the 3rd Brigade...(yes occasionally I pay attention to base closures and troop re-deployments...especially when they are massing Army and Air Force units in a somewhat centralized location...makes me wonder when they plan on instilling martial law)...and these things carry smart bombs which will blow your dumbass off the face of the planet let alone the base itself...so as you can see the 20 ton door isn't so much a deterrent as a last line of defense...and here's the real kick in the ass...where the focus falls off the map like somebody slippin ona banana peel...in the event your some next generation Copperfield/Houdini hybrid and can make it past everything including the 20 ton door...it's EMPTY...aside from dust and moldy stale air...the damn thing hasn't even been opened since the late 70's...why would we need a Gold Reserve when we don't use gold as a financial backing device...what gold is in this country is kept at the World Bank and transferred between holding chambers assigned to countries to 'symbolically' secure loans between nations and make everything appear on the up and up...tragically several of our younger generation are going to endure a depressive state unseen by a continental community in previous history...the much heralded historical era of the Great Depression is going to look like a day trip to the sun tanning salon compared to what are youth are in store for...every Empirical entity on this planet has followed suit throughout history...they have eventually failed due to economic collapse from a failed financial system dating back past the Romans...to think America is any different is where the true and underlying fundamental lack of focus really lies...the government is the shepherd and the majority of citizens are sheeple...they will lead us to slaughter before toppling the steeple!!!
http://uncensoredsurvival.com/front12/ for those that are interested an interesting video.

HADTA BE SPARTANS!!!

The State of Michigan once threatened to sue some beavers for $10,000.00 for failing to remove a dam...

...read the TITLE...it wasn't the state of Michigan that did this...it was a bunch of those idiots that graduated over in Lansing...bastard step children of the ONLY true college in this neck of the country UM...they're the only dumbasses I can think of that would even speak to a beaver...the rest of us know what to do with those things...beat them to death with our third lower limb...the rest of us wouldn't ever consider trying to sue a furry little patch of freshly shaved follicles...maybe the bitch that houses the beaver if it's infected...but NEVER the beaver itself...hell most of the guys I know won't even spend more than $50.00 on dinner for their dam building dates...if they can't get the river to flow through the canyon after that...they just give up and move on...$10,000.00 just to try and get a beaver to remove her dam...NOT even if it's platinum plated and trimmed in gold with 4th of July Freedom sparks shooting out of her ass...hell I'm so frivolous and frugal you'd be lucky to get me to splurge for a beer just to take a peek at a beaver...in this day and age of inefficient economics I have other things to waste my non valuable pocket paper on...although I probably shouldn't neglect to mention that anyone that has lived with a beaver bearer for more than a year has already spent a far greater wad of worthless paper on their ongoing project...but we are veering off track here a little bit...the booger about this bit that bugs me the most is why didn't they follow through with the threat??? What in the wide wild world of bi-peninsula plots of pulp is goin' on here???  It's quite simple really...somebody from Ann Arbor happened to be walking by and told those dolts at State that beavers couldn't talk...and while an industrious member of the animal kingdom they were drastically under compensated for their architecture...I am somewhat surprised tho...the majority of MSU graduates I run across have trouble formulating an idea that goes much beyond spitting out...'Paper or Plastic'...when they're bagging my groceries...I know some of you are fans of old Sparty...the skirt wearing mascot of MSU sports programs...who probably doubled as the Valedictorian for his graduating class...but don't look to me for an apology or forgiveness for your transgressions regarding collegiate sports...it is NOT my fault that UM graduates have degrees that earn them in excess of $10,000.00 a year...maybe you shouldn't have wasted your time and money educating yourselves on the proper fast food drive thru window etiquette...'you want fries with that'... buncha hair lipped hunch backed beaver suists...and I know what some of you are thinkin'...this is hypocritical rhetoric considering I constantly and emphatically discourage any and all from absorbing anything offered by a public education facility...and while I hold to that theory even as it applies to 'collage edumacated' maggots...one must choose sides in the battle between state school teams showcased in the Big Ten...and for some their selection stems from family tradition...while for others it is based on nothing more than a preference for a color combination...but how should a transplant...non-native make such a selection...the same way UM graduates/fans and faculty do...by asking yourself one simple question...that being..."When faced with having to tangle with an enormous Grizzly Bear having NOTHING more than the hair on your back and your hands and feet as weapons...which creature is more likely to STAND and do battle with the bear???"  That's right folks...Spartans without spears...swords and shields are but mere tasty mortal morsels for Grizzlies... while the WOLVERINE is a fierce and ferocious adversary that warrants an extremely wide berth...that being said I would avoid dating UM friendly females as their beavers might have sharper teeth...claws and a nasty disposition!!!

PHALANGE FOLLICLE FAILURE!!!

Fingernails grow faster on the hand that you favor...

This is actually fabulous information to be aware of...if you happen to be a one handed obsessive masturbatory machine...in which case you may wanna schedule more manicures for the affected appendage than the one you neglect...and quite honestly...that very tidbit statement makes absolutely NO sense...what happens to the everyday eroding capable equipment we prefer to use... or FAVOR in this idiots information??? It wears down the more we USE it...anyone that has had the tie-rod go out on the right front side of a vehicle can attest to the fact that the right front side tire wears out quicker than all the others until the broken parts are replaced...If you look really hard and close at the shoes on your feet...the one you favor the most has a heavier wear pattern than the one you don't...fingernails...being made of a material called keratin...which is a solid yet easily modified deposit...can be worn down with nothing more than a file...stands to reason then that the fingernails on the ambulatory appendage you prefer to use the most...masturbating or otherwise...would have a slightly shorter length than one that does NOT receive as much attention...I swear...sometimes I wish I could just grab everyone I come across and shake the cattle mentality they have right out of them...damn 'sheeple' is what they are...too damn dumb to use a Coke cap's worth of common sense to flee from the flock and think freely...I blame this on the education system in this country...more recently than previously...outside of learning the intricacies of mathematics...public education systems are assininely inadequate ways to educate your children...it's a National problem of pandemic proportions...think about it...half the shit ya learn in Science class...THEORIES...they live in hypothetical habitats where their ideas make sense...History class...you hear the stories of the victorious forefathers of the human race...losers don't write history books...they become demonized as the Ultimate Evil...do ya think if we woulda lost WWII any of our history books would reflect the remarkable courage and intestinal fortitude of America's fighting men and working women...seriously doubtful...do we glorify the Nazi's or for that matter the Japanese...NO...we painted them out to be PLANETARY PROBLEM CHILDREN...and then shortly after winning the war on both fronts...we secured their top scientists and used their technologies...maybe NOT in the same fashion...but we are getting there...English class...since nunya r havin a problem readin this in piss poor written words...I'm guessin that class is a boring waste of time...PE class...seriously...WTF is that besides a complete and utter waste of finances...your kids don't needa structured play pen to exercise...lookin' at the current OBESITY EPIDEMIC...that seems to explode upon the younger generations of today shortly after leaving Elementary...I'd venture to guess that what your kids need is less technology... and more time spent outside doin chores like you and I did at that age...all these public education programs do is dumb us down...or our children to be more precise...to make them compliant and complacent with the SYSTEM...NOBODY rocks the boat anymore...outta fear mongering perpetuated by our elected political officials...you can't even peacefully assemble anymore without being FORCED by ARMED agents of the local...state or federal government to disburse...especially if the purpose of such a protest is in direct contrast to the status quo..look at the OCCUPY movements...completely peaceful for the most part...a handful of truly unruly and dissatisfied protestors participated and were they the ONLY ONES removed...hell NO...how many of you...or your children have ANY idea what the 16th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is??? (Great...ya looked it up on Google...thereby exhibiting pure genius[sarcasm dripping off that last sentence like syrup off a stack of pancakes] now do a little more research)...it is the Amendment allowing the IRS...a non-government entity...to impose taxes on ANY & ALL sources of viable income or valuable assets...it was and has NEVER been legally ratified...it was PUSHED through into law illegally..making income tax a completely voluntary process...most of you are probably under the false assumption that the taxes you pay on a pay period basis are being used by the government to establish budgets for their various programs...WRONG...your income taxes...property taxes...gas taxes...ANY & ALL forms of taxation are used to pay off the INTEREST accrued by the loans the U.S. Government takes out from the FEDERAL RESERVE...another non-government entity...that was granted the permission to "create" money for Congress...the ONLY legal and legitimate entity ALLOWED to manufacture money or coin currency...why??? PROFITABILITY...what does it cost to print a $1.00 bill???  Doesn't really matter...it costs the very same amount of money to print a $100.00 bill...why is this important???  Because as a non-government privately owned institution granted the power to make money at will...the FEDERAL RESERVE has the ability to manufacture the money the government needs without backing it with something of value...since it costs them pennies on the paper note to print they stand to make trillions in interest...hmmm...trillions you say...as in like the same bracket as our National Debt...finally starting to sink in a little bit...if not then maybe you are better off biting the nails off your favorite fingers to keep them relatively similar in length to your others...and wait for that cowbell...it'll letcha know when the next mass feeding of the fog headed forgotten is about to take place so you can fight for a spot at the trough!!! BE FOREWARNED...the moron that came up with this tidbit will be at the head of that line... SENIORITY has it's benefits...even among the STUPID!!!

PLANT BIOLOGY BLASPHEMISTS!!!

Vegetarian mammals produce more methane than do carnivorous mammals...

Well hello there Officer Obvious...I'm pretty sure we ran into your illegitimate bastard step-child yesterday...you sun driving son so to speak...that kid couldn't find his ass if he were wearing it as a hat...you on the other hand...seem to have paid attention to in third grade science and learned all about plant matter and its potential for producing methane gas...BRAVO...you have actually made a very supportive statement for BEEF-EATERS all over the world...and given vegetarians...(VEGANS I believe is the politically correct term these days...apparently shortened from the previous VEGETARIAN nomenclature because vegetable eaters are ill equipped to SPELL words with too many consonants and vowels)...a reason to consider quitting their animal protecting meal plans...I've NEVER understood vegans...it's a ridiculous regimen if ever there was one...they prefer to eat plant matter as opposed to animal flesh because they are AGAINST killing living things...HELLO...plants are living things too...they may not have red blood cells coursing through their veins or be ambulatory and able to move from one location to another without the assistance of a helpful human or hurricane...but they are still living objects on this orbiting ball of dust and debris...ya wanna munch on inanimate materials I should think your grocery shopping would be a very quick and easy process...just go stand in checkout empty handed and wait until the MSU graduate at the end of the line asks if you want 'Paper or Plastic'...because outside of dirt, water, air and fire...those are about your only choices of non-living things to shove down your meatless gullet...being a deductive thinker I would hafta believe that all VEGANS are ATHEISTS...(but Kevin...how do you draw such a conclusion without having interviewed any of these elephant dung simulators???)...quite simple really...most...if NOT all organized religions incorporate a tenet or two that stipulates the origin of man...these tenets almost always indicate or suggest that we as humans were created in the image and likeness of a 'god'...if this is true...or something you believe in...then it stands to reason WE were ALL intended to eat meat...as a VEGAN...your desire to neglect the intake of flesh from other animals is in direct contrast to the religion and god(s) you believe in...damn hypocritical heretics anyway...I simple enjoy pointing out the shit NOBODY else takes into account...they're everywhere I look...they pop in and out of my head with very little effort most of the time...WE...as humans living in the modern society of technology are at a serious disadvantage when compared to our predecessors...WE no longer hafta think for ourselves...WE develop a collective conscience and buy into bullshit and blueprints for increasing our own ignorance...the more we advance our intelligence the more we reveal how ignorant we really are...up until today most of you probably thought that VEGANS simply found produce more palatable than carnivorous carcasses...or maybe you believed they were simply shitty hunters...showing up in the forest with gardening shears instead of shotguns... NOW however you can see the bigger picture...these people are in league with legion...but have NO fear...they have very little hope of winning an epic apocalyptic battle to determine which deity will rule the Earth once the world ends...(I know what you're thinking...Holy Crap Kevin...how did you draw that conclusion???)...lack of ass in each individual VEGAN...that's how...do you know how many plants you need to eat to amass the same weight as you would had you eaten meat...TONS...and since they cannot eat TONS of vegetation in a calendar year...let alone a single setting...I feel it safe to assume they will ball up and blow away with one healthy god-fart from the deity wearing the carnivorous crown...ya know why man eats meat???  To maintain our spot at the top of the animal kingdom leader board...if we were herbivores...we would have become one of the hunted instead of the hunters...the planet would be overpopulated with walking masses of meat always looking for the next meal...as a human herbivore race we would NEVER have developed hunting skills or weapons for shooting and slaughtering sustainable masses of tasty meat...we woulda been forced to grow and gather crops...you know those tasty little treats we use as bait for attracting animals...which means that while we were busy growing grains for survival we would also be planting huge fields of attractive bait...bringing those predatory animals we were trying to avoid closer to where the hell we were...so NOT only are VEGANS atheists...they exhibit characteristics that are in direct contrast to the continuation of the human race as a whole...so there ya have it...in a nutshell...VEGANS are...#1) horrible hunters...#2) dumbass devil worshippers...and anti-human race inhabitants of Mother Earth... it is with that in mind that I dedicate each and every day from here to eternity as..."Slap a Salad Shooter Day"...if you see anyone eating off a plate that doesn't have a meat product on it...you have valid religious reasons for rapping them upside the head with a ham steak!!!

INTERSTELLAR INTERSTATES!!!

It would take more than 150 years to drive a car to the sun...

WOW...WOW...WOW...can you tell I am actually star struck and sun stunned by this little morsel of misguided imagination???  If memory serves...and that's a big 'if'' in these days of advanced aging I am currently encountering among the glory days of middle life...I believe most of us remember being educated about that big ass ball of glowing gases at the center of our Solar System sometime around the third grade...we were informed that the sun was a massive and complex environment of intense heat...blazing fires and combustible gases...the temperature of which we couldn't even begin to imagine or hope to replicate here on Earth...we were educated about the concept that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING coming within several thousand miles of the surface of said sun would perish in a flash of fire and be wiped from the memory banks of existence...so how this mental midget came up with this conclusion is beyond my scope of understanding...I fell completely confident in suggesting...or hypothesizing...that it would take NOTHING short of a billion years for the surface of the sun to cool to the point of being able to sustain contact with another object without setting it on fire...a scenario that would directly result in our own demise as light requiring life forms...complicating matter further is the fact that there is no suitable surface for driving said vehicle from here to there...which means that before a car can be driven ANYWHERE...a road hasta be constructed...a complex process that would take construction specialists in modern times at least 150 years or longer to build...and what does that mean???  Well for those without the ability to do second grade mathematics on the fly sans calculating equipment...it means the proposed schedule for such a journey has already been exceeded and therefore irrelevant...what other problems might lie ahead for this interstellar travel agent???  That's right folks...SHOUT OUT the answers if they come to you naturally...FUEL...not only would it be required in order to leave a given location but as any of you who have a vehicle currently can attest...the need for replenishing that fuel as it is depleted is an absolute necessity...so in conjunction with the road that needs to be built...gas stations will also have to be strategically placed along the travel path to accommodate for different mileage calculations encompassing the entire automotive industry with respect to the models each company manufactures...posing yet another delay to the proposed 150 year plan...FOOD for the idiots making the journey would need to be found or placed along the established route...since it obviously cannot be grown in space without oxygen containing structures one would hafta assume that it would be shipped in refrigerated trucks from one location to the other...I won't even mention the fact that NO known food source has a shelf life exceeding 150 years...HOSTESS...makers of nuclear holocaust surviving Twinkies has closed its doors...so after the caravan has passed the one year mile marker cannibalism is going to be the only viable resource for sustenance...procreation will hafta serve as a method for replenishing food sources...and where will rest...relaxation...sleep and entertainment take place??? I am a military brat so I have SLC (static location complex)...I can't stand being in the same damn location for more than a few years...even if I live in the same region I hafta change houses frequently to maintain my sanity...can you imagine being cooped up in a damn car for a single year...let alone 150???  Yeah...me neither...hell we took over 30 days just to travel from California to North Carolina when we got transferred from Hawai'i...NOT because the distance required it...but because NONE of us had the burning desire to be remembered as the second coming of the Donner Pass Party...150 years in a car...DUMBASS...we haven't developed a strategic plan of action for landing a man on Mars for the simple fact it would take a couple year to get there and we have NO concept of what lengthy space travel might include...health concerns...food supply issues...social interaction...mental health concerns...all come into play...150 years to drive a car to the sun...BOLLOCKS...it's taken at least a third of that time...50+ years to develop a damn space agency that isn't laughed at...it'll take another 25-30 years of research before we can even consider sending manned space flights into orbit around distant planets and even then the first few missions are going to be more of an educational experience than part of a plan to colonize a distant planet and make it habitable...and the damn thing is NONE of these legitimate agencies are even halfheartedly considering the use of the common car concept to get us there...here's a little idea...how about we stop trying to reinvent the wheel...and just continue making improvements to REALISTIC concepts on which we have already made modifications to accommodate modern societies...in other words...let's NOT abandon that day job bagging groceries there ya ignorant Galaxy Jumping Juggernaut...I have a strong suspicion you will drive yourself insane long before ever reaching the sun in a sedan!!!

EULOGIES FOR UTES!!!

In Utah, it is illegal to swear in front of a dead person...

...and the purpose for that would be???  Are the deceased in Utah more easily offended???  Or perhaps this law was put in place to assuage the fears of those oh so fabulous members of the Mormon Taber-debacle...here's what I find interesting...but then of course I tend to consider things from a slightly off center point of view...personally I see DEAD people each and every day...do I work at a hospital???  NO.  Do I work at a morgue???  NO.  Am I currently in the armed services of the US and deployed to a distant unnecessary battlefield???  NO...so how do I see DEAD people each and every day...simple really I open my peepers in the morning and look around...we are all DEAD people walking...we each just take our time arriving at Death's door...unless of course somebody has undeniable proof of immortality...resurrection or reincarnation...ANYONE...ANYONE???  Didn't think so...so in essence ANYONE residing in the Salt Lake state is guilty of committing an infraction of the law should they utter syllabic slurs of a swearing nature in the presence of any person...animated or otherwise...I find it similarly interesting the interpretations of the greatest minds on this planet regarding theories about what happens after our life lights are extinguished...or there hypothesis on why ancient civilizations employed various burial rituals...especially since NONE of them were there...NOR are there any remaining members from ancient civilizations available to explain in detail why the people back then did what they did with their dead...I find it hypocritical that the majority of people on this planet have a belief system affiliated with an organized religion in which the tenets of the system involve treating all of GOD's creatures with the same amount of respect...compassion...love and caring...yet we bury deceased humans in ritualistic ceremonies...and discard...or neglect a similar practice for any other form of wildlife or pet...quick show of hands...how many heretics have either flushed a gold fish down the toilet after it goes belly up...or driven by roadkill without giving it a second thought???  Alright...Alright...put your hands down...looks like the North Atlantic after the Titanic sank...everybody reaching for something...the simple fact of the matter is current civilizations within modern day society derived their practices concerning the handling of the unhealthy directly from ancestral belief systems...at some point after we crawled forth from caves...humans endured some sort of experience that led them to believe there was SOMETHING waiting for them after they passed from this PLANE of existence...in almost EVERY scenario involving preparing the dead for burial...individually...(not genocidal)... we see a common theme...pagan religions such as those followed by the early Sumerians... Egyptians..Vikings...modern day theologies... Catholics...Mormons...Towelheads...all display the dead (when possible) wrapped...embalmed...mummified or decked out in their Sunday Best...why???  Because throughout human history...from the moment we were able to understand more than grunts and howls...we have been told there is another PLANE of existence waiting for us after our time here is through...this has been instilled in us since before the birth of organized religion...is there another plane waiting for us...or do we just become prepackaged food for fish bait???  Being a numbers guy...and an outside the average thinker...I'd hafta venture a guess that there are thousands...if not millions of additional planes of existence possible...we have yet to begin to understand ourselves or our place in the universe...current scientific data suggests there are hundreds of planets within our galaxy that are within the habitable zone of a life sustaining star or stars like our own sun...if that is true...and even an 1/8th of those planets do contain some form of intelligent and evolved lifeforms...they would all need their own 'heaven/hell/purgatory' places to advance to once their lights blink out on their little balls of space debris...most of you that read these diatribes of mine have become familiar with my mockery of both scientific and religious beliefs...it's because they do NOT make sense...neither field offers a complete and concise explanation for ANYTHING they postulate...the basic existence of both fields are based on educated GUESSWORK...look how many times throughout history each of these institutions have altered...modified or adjusted their practices...policies...procedures...ways of thinking...to accommodate for the ever changing climate of the current day...we went from being a FLAT world to a ROUND world...from being the center of the Solar System to an orbiting ball of dust around the sun...which was the center of the Solar System...we went from worshiping the sun...moon...cows...birds...other various idols...to worshiping various gods we now believe to be 'MYTHOLOGICAL'...such as Zeus and his crew...or Jupiter and his juggernauts...to half human desert dwelling man beasts and distant star systems associated with Orion's Belt...(in the case of the Egyptians)...to Jesus...Mohammed...Buddha...and over 330 MILLION deities in the Hindu religion... it would therefore be FOLLY of any of us to presume we have ALL of the answers in the current day and age...I know there are several of you that practice devoutly within your churches...some of you are at this moment covering your gaping pie holes to conceal your disbelief of this heresy...possibly even damning me to the depths of hell...(that fear inspired plane of existence where I shall undoubtedly perish by fire and brimstone for NOT buying into the whole god program)...but here's the thing...this is why I CANNOT give ANY religion a fair chance...if they ALL believed in a SINGLE Almighty Entity...there would be SOLID foundation for jumping on the proverbial bandwagon...the fact that there are over 330 MILLION gods just in the Hindu religion alone...gives me serious reason to pause and question WTF is going on...put yourself in YOUR gods place...were you ALL-WISE & POWERFUL...would not EVERYONE under your control bow at your feet in praise and glory or be smitten and wiped from the memory of man???  Gods...for the most part are tyrannical figures that DEMAND respect for FEAR of retribution...I similarly CANNOT buy into the scientific community's explanation for many things...Black Holes...theoretical...Global Warming... utterly and stupifyingly ridiculous...sure man has added greenhouse gases...are they ANYWHERE near being significant enough to raise the temperature of the Earth's surface or deplete the ozone???  NOT if you believe a giant meteor impacted the planet in the distant past directly resulting in the extinction of dinosaurs...if this planet can withstand interstellar impacts from BLAZINGLY hot comets and meteors...keep the ozone intact...and continue to sustain life...I dare say short of thermonuclear annihilation we are leaving a small footprint on Mother Earth's delicate facial features...they tell us that Sirius is a Stellar nursery...a birth place of planets and stars within the galactic arm of the Milky Way...which as you know our solar system is a part of...at the center of this Milky Way Galaxy they theorize sits a massive Black Hole...the absolute anti-thesis to a stellar nursery...one is shitting out stars and planets all over the place...the other gobbles up ANYTHING & EVERYTHING...including LIGHT that is unfortunate enough to breach the event horizon...as we know...life takes FOREVER to evolve...it requires light to flourish...light which travels at the FASTEST known speed in the universe...yet science would have you believe that there are things in space that spit out light producing...life sustaining orbital masses of debris...while simultaneously encompassing massive life and light gobbling unseen entities...and yet...AMAZINGLY...the star charts and maps we have of EVERYTHING we can see with optical enhancing telescopic equipment NEVER changes...ODD to say the least...and yet at the same time extremely revealing...it means NONE of them know WTF they're talking about...so why do we believe what science and religion has to tell us...GULLIBILITY...this tidbit is a prime example of that very fact...this law was passed because at some point a person of religious importance...most likely of the Mormon persuasion...got an ingrown hair in their unwashed ass and decided swearing in front of a dead person was sacrilegious...a damnable sin and abomination...which should NOT only be punishable in the afterlife but should be compensated for punitively while the person was still among the animated...why???  Because most of us...myself included...do NOT believe that once we slough off our mortal shell...we cease to exist...we just have different ideas about what happens to us...where we go...what takes place and how best to get from here to there...I could go on and on and on and on pointing out things from science and religion that do NOT make sense if you just STOP and think for yourself...FACTS are a fallacy...they come about through massive subconscious acceptance of a PROPOSED idea derived from previously accepted ideas...ask yourself a few questions...if Jesus could walk on water...how did John baptize him???  If you have a star spitting system and a star sucking system within relative close proximity...all things considered...then why doesn't the night sky change drastically???   How do comets travel at such speeds and along such elongated elliptical courses without crashing into other more stationary objects...it is there a scientific explanation for this anomaly...or is it just interstellar dumb luck...why do some...Shoemaker-Levy fall apart and smash into Jupiter...others bounce around with reckless abandon and NEVER come close enough to cause concern to ANYTHING else out there???  There isn't ONE of us alive that hasn't uttered and undesirable and offensive phrase out loud...under our breath...or in the secrecy of our own thoughts...regarding another individual...so we are all guilty of breaking the law if/when we enter the salty sanctuary of Utah...so if I am going to HELL...I expect to see the rest of you there upon my arrival or shortly thereafter...until that event I encourage you to ENJOY life and have a fantastic weekend!!!

GOODYEAR RUBBER PRODUCTS!!!

Goodyear Rubber Company researched and concluded that shoes wear out faster on the right foot than the left...

...and this is another perfect example of IDIOCY...for a couple of different reasons...#1 being...Goodyear Rubber Company has NOT carved out a niche in the foot apparel industry...some of the products famous manufacturers use in making their footwear may come from Goodyear...but they themselves do not employ foreign children in sweat shops for the specific purpose of crafting footwear for pennies and reaping profit...#2 being...there is absolutely NO useful or pertinent information deduced from this research as it applies to the shoe manufacturing industry...why???  Well...it's really rather simple...SHOES...are sold in PAIRS...regardless of how many FEET the buyer has...the ONLY places on this entire PLANET where you can purchase a single piece of podiatry equipment in the shape of a shoe is at some f**kin Redneck Yard Sale...NOBODY in the history of shoe manufacturing or sales has EVER attempted to provide a SINGLE SHOE SOLUTION...I watch a new show these days called Elementary...modern day Sherlock Holmes...it is an entertaining environment that encourages DEDUCTIVE thinking...an entirely NEW concept in the tire making sector of automotive necessities with regards to wasting money on insignificant research...a BETTER avenue of financial interest might have been developing an interchangeable shoe system...seeing as how these engineering geniuses were capable of manipulating rubber in order to fabricate tires...one would think that with the ROTATING recommendations they offer for PREVENTING tire wear... their interests with respect to FOOTWEAR would revolve around the same concept...especially if premature wear patterns were indeed discovered to affect one foot in a biased nature...this is why people like me are DANGEROUS considerations for public offices...federal, state or business CFO's...that deal directly with the financial infrastructure of the beast...how long do you think employees in the RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT arena would hold their positions of employment after submitting requests for funding frolicking expeditions through f**ktardom full of IGNORANT and completely ILLOGICAL IDEAS???  That's right...NOT long enough to receive a 7 digit pension fund when they retire...in the world of wasting money...this one is rapidly climbing to the top of the terrible thought process pile...maybe they should have focused their efforts on other rubber products...perhaps a Goodyear Run Flat Prophylactic would be a hot seller...manufactured using the same concept as the tires of a similar name...any punctures or holes in the product would seal themselves and keep the integrity of the intercourse apparatus intact for 50 more strokes...think of the market they could corner with that little device...there are a thousand logical areas they could have dumped R&D dollars without discovering results that ANYONE with common sense could have told you without charging hundreds of thousands of dollars...hell ya don't even need to be a statistician to realize the MAJORITY of humans...(you know...those cave dwelling creatures famous for spending exorbitantly on FOOTWEAR...FEMALES in particular)...are born with a tendency to utilize their RIGHT side appendages more than they are their LEFT...I use my left hand for two things...typing and...(use your imagination and insert other purpose here____________)...hint: does not involve perfecting the art of luring fish...I use my left foot to prevent tipping or tripping of the sub torso TRIPOD system...my right side appendages have a mind of their own and often conduct many of my daily tasks without needing to be instructed mentally...ya know...I'm actually quite pleased that NOT everyone has the ability to SEE things as I do...(outside the normal perception)...these tidbits would be far less interesting if we were all on the same page to begin with!!!

FLORESCENCY OF FROGS!!!

Frogs sometimes eat enough fireflies that they themselves will glow...

hmmm...using this same assinine logic one would assume that people who habitually shove their heads up their asses should come out smelling just as shitty if not shittier than the ideas they found while combing the vast caverns of their caca-chute via la cabeza...what absolutely illegitimate bastard child of boogery came up with this conclusion???  Ya know what makes me call BULL-frog-SHIT on this material...perhaps it would be the fact that frogs...you remember those little creatures from science class we all had to dissect before the invention of the internet and colorful detailed depictions became available of the process...these amphibious creatures are found where???  Generally speaking we find them close to bodies of water...why???  Because as genetic make-up would have it...frogs lay their eggs in moisture rich environments...bodies of water...stagnant or flowing matters not to the toad...and where in general do we tend to find fireflies???  Most of my personally conducted excursions for finding fireflies involved using a glass jar and vented lid for capture and containment...in conjunction with wandering through open fields nowhere near a body of water...I thereby conclude that unless a frog happens to be frolicking across an open expanse of land to get from one pond to another they stand very little chance of enjoying a glowing air borne inset as part of their daily dietary regimen...does that mean fireflies CANNOT be found in environments suitable for hoppity hops habitation...NOT by a long shot...of course you can find fireflies in close proximity to the wet areas where frogs lay in wait for supper...(I know what your thinkin'..."well if that is true, then why else is is NOT possible for frogs to become florescent if they gobble on a bunch of glow flies"...STOP getting ahead of yourself...I'm gettin' there)...frogs are ill equipped for florescency for one simple fact...NON-TRANSPARENCY of flesh...frogs can't glow regardless of what they consume because the contents they ingest are kept cloaked in a non light emitting organ called the stomach...and here's a really simple way to verify the FACTS about frogs and their inability to glow from foods they eat...FROGS have 4 teeth...which oddly enough...have NOTHING to do with eating...but are instead using for gripping during acts of fornication...they therefore do NOT chew their food...but swallow it whole...which is why they prefer small insects...easier to swallow...less throat obstructions...(I know...I know...how does that prove they won't glow from eating fireflies...I'll tell ya...you guys can be pretty impatient at times...RELAX...I'll explain)...you've all seen those neat little glow stick thingamajiggies...ya buy them at the county fair for the kids...what is the first thing you notice about them???  They are contained in a hard plastic body...why???  Because if they crack open they leak and everything they come into contact with will also glow...interesting concept really...when you stop to think about how that might apply to frogs and their firefly eating habits... why you might ask...because the concept is generally the same...while a firefly does NOT have a hard outer plastic shell protecting its glowing parts from spilling all over the place...it does have a solid body that must be punctured with relative force before any of the florescent fluid will spill forth and cause ANYTHING else to glow...FROGS...as we now have come to realize do NOT chew their food...they swallow it whole...after which it goes through the inherent metabolizing effects of a frog's digestive system...a process which takes significantly LONGER to complete than would poking a hole in the ass of a firefly...and here's the end all be all reason a frog CANNOT and will NEVER glow from ingesting an abundance of glowing insects...the glowing part of a firefly happens through bio-luminescence...a process that requires three key components to be present at all times...an enzyme...a substrate...and OXYGEN...and what happens when a frog swallows a firefly for supper...well quite honestly...and obviously...it removes OXYGEN from the equation...thereby permanently extinguishing any and all signs of florescence within the firefly within a mere matter of minutes...I therefore draw my conclusions thusly...in order for a FROG to FLUORESCE from the simple act of feeding on FIREFLIES...they would have to swallow dozens...if NOT hundreds...of these deviant deletable members of the insect kingdom in a single GULP...that being said...I could be mistaken regarding this information as it came to me under the influence of medicinal plant matter... so you may want to consult with someone of lesser intelligence from the local scientific research and study program of an educational facility for programmable thinking...(that would be your high school science teacher)...you know...the idiot that attended just enough college to confuse the students in their classroom without actually being able to deliver ANYTHING of significant value...aside from enticing teenagers to explore and experiment with each other sexually...but that folks is a rant for another day...I hope you are all enjoying your Monday morning as much as I am...seeing as how at the time of this writing it hasn't arrived yet...I will letcha know how mine goes...just in case you are one of those that feel the need to compare your livelihoods with those around you in an apparent attempt to make yourself look better...trust me...it isn't possible...there is only ONE of me...the rest of you must suffer the experience of being less than perfect...and for that I offer my sincerest apologies...I am kidding...unless of course that statement offended you in some way...in which case...suck it up buttercup...you just won a prize...a Do-It-Yourself Makeover kit that comes complete with an empty revolver and one bullet...use it wisely!!!

FIREPROOF WOOD PRODUCTS!!!

The bark of the redwood tree is fireproof. Fires in redwood forests take place inside the tree...

...IDK about you folks but I suddenly feel DUMBER just having read that...there isn't a wood product known to man that is completely FIREPROOF...ya know how I know this...it isn't through deductive reasoning...intuition...research or investigation...it dawned on me through NOTHING more than COMMON sense...IF the bark of a redwood tree were FIREPROOF, then all homes in America...especially those built in California...primarily the northern region...would all be made out of redwood bark...DUMBASS...the bark of a redwood tree can be as thick as 1' deep from inner edge to outer edge..it also contains tannins...which make the material fire RESISTANT...NOT fire PROOF...fire proof alludes to the fact that an object or item CANNOT be compromised by fire alone...now if you believe the government's version of what occurred on 9/11...then you also believe that reinforced hardened steel support beams can melt to the point of buckling and collapsing entire buildings in less than half an hour...having worked at in the iron forging industry for over 10 years...I can attest to the fact that without a CONSTANT high intensity heat source that is IMPOSSIBLE...much the same way it would be impossible to light a fire in a redwood forest and experience NO permanent damage from the event...sequoias and redwoods may receive less damage or take longer to ignite...but they will burn...as a matter of fact it is because of the fire RESISTANT properties of redwood bark that fires in these types of forests are harder to put out...the fire can move to the interior of the tree and burn for days before causing the bark to experience combustion...at which point it will explode and allow the fire to spread to other flora and foliage present in the area...almost makes me wonder if this wasn't the unknown brother of the Titanic architect...seeing as how all idiots share a common thought process...man CANNOT build unsinkable aquatic vehicles anymore than he can erect a FIREPROOF structure out of a wood product...it's like trying to win the Super Bowl with Tony Romo as your quarterback...physically and logically IMPOSSIBLE...(Lions fans can relate...NOT that they have a Romo-esque quarterback but ANYONE wearing that uniform signed off on having a worthwhile career on draft day)...you know what is absolutely FIREPROOF???  Absolutely NOTHING...now there are those in the scientific community that would have you believe fire CANNOT exist in a vacuum...they propose that oxygen is an essential element for creating and feeding a fire of any size...they point to outer space and insist that fires cannot occur there...or that if they do they will be rapidly extinguished without interference until such a time as the oxygen that is available has exhausted...I...on the other hand...being a think outside the box kinda guy...do NOT support the theory that fire requires OXYGEN to function constantly and continuously at higher temperatures than any of us have ever imagined...all I hafta do to poke holes in this theory is wake up EACH & EVERY and stare off into space...where OXYGEN does NOT exist...at least NOT at levels that would sustain and support a fire as we know it...HOWEVER there just happens to be one of the largest fires ever seen by man...floating across the sky on a daily basis...the sun is an ENORMOUS ball of fire...no atmosphere to speak of and therefore one could safely assume no oxygen to feed the fire...seems to be a common thread in the scientific community...offering unsubstantiated claims to support theories they couldn't otherwise explain...how many of these high IQ individuals originally thought the Earth was the center of the universe??? Or the the world was flat and only existed on a single plane...didn't it ever occur to them that when they dug into the Earth they broke that plane and therefore should have had a direct hole to the underside of the world and a clear and concise glimpse at what space looked like on the other side of the world???  They tell you today that black holes exist...that they create a vacuum/vortex in space from which absolutely NOTHING escapes...they theorize that these massive gravity consuming chambers absorb EVERYTHING in sight...they have absolutely NO idea where all of this space matter goes or what happens inside this mysterious vortex...this theory itself does NOT compute Will Robinson...(I used a reference to this old TV show because it would appear that even the most brilliant minds on this planet are...Lost in Space)...here's my theory on why black holes do NOT exist or CANNOT exist as they claim...LIGHT...which we all know from these same science minded morons...travels at a speed of 186,282 miles per second...per second folks...NOT per hour...NOT per day...per SECOND...therefore in order for a black hole to exist it would have to create a vacuum in space...(which as scientists often claim is a vacuum itself...absent of oxygen at sustainable levels)...you CANNOT create a vacuum within a vacuum...it is IMPOSSIBLE according to the laws of physics that have been INVENTED to prove all other theories...that point aside...even if a black hole could create a vacuum in the vacuum of space it would have to absorb interstellar objects...planets...stars...asteroids...comets...meteors and all related space junk and debris at a rate significantly greater than the speed of light...in other words...far greater than at the rate of 186,282 miles per second...which in turn would mean that our night time sky would undergo drastic and rapid changes on a daily basis...adhering to the fantasy that a black hole exists in the form they theorize...one would be safe in assuming that the closer an object is to the center of gravitational forces present in a black hole...the quicker it would slip over the edge and disappear from the night sky...since NONE of us...or the scientific community seems able to point to previous star charts or maps from thousands of years ago and pinpoint the absence of identifiable stars...Imma hafta conclude that black holes are an anomaly for which they have absolutely NO viable or logical explanation...if they exist at all...it reminds me of one of my favorite sayings..."The TRUTH will NOT set you FREE...the willingness to question EVERYTHING will set you FREE...TRUTH is merely an unpleasant side effect"...the sooner WE...as uneducated followers STOP buying into the BULLSHIT they insist is factual...the sooner we can take the next step in EVOLUTION...OPEN YOUR MIND and you will see more than if you just OPEN YOUR EYES!!!

TALK ABOUT THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND!!!

If you are in total darkness for three days and three nights you become permanently blind...

...believed NOBODY in the history of science or medicine...why???  Because if that were the case there would be more blind people than optically enhanced humans running the Earth...think about it...where do you spend the first 9 months of your life???  In the womb...a dark and murky area that attempts to confine you...can you see while you are in there???  Chances are...probably not without the presence of light close to the belly during the final trimester...however what happens when you erupt through the vaginal birthing canal...LIGHT...SIGHT & SCARY masked people poking...prodding and slapping your ass...here's a little known fact for those that dwell in the dark corners of illogical thinking...human evolution...takes years to accomplish NATURALLY...(it has been hastened from time to time by extra-terrestrial visitors)...but all in all...it took millions of years to climb from the caves and build an infrastructure like the internet...3 days and 3 nights of absolute and total darkness is something that has been endured and documented by a number of POW's...and remarkably MANY of them retained their ability to SEE...about the ONLY thing 3 days and 3 nights of TOTAL darkness is going to accomplish is hyp0er-sensitivity to light when re-introduced...what a shining beacon of brilliance this thunder muffin of misinformation must be...I am constantly reminded of what a LOVE/HATE relationship I have with the internet...remember the good old days when you hadta go to the library to look for information???  EVERYTHING on the shelves was categorized accordingly...useful sh*t fell under FACTS...diatribes from DUMBASSES like this dipshidiot were listed under the FICTION heading...nowadays I'd generously estimate 50% of internet users are direct descendants of the blond bimbo in the State Farm commercial...believing that..."they can't put anything FALSE on the internet"...I mean holy crap...read an article in a science or medical magazine once in awhile...there are several areas of experimentation going on to cure blindness...cornea transplants...stem cell research...any of that ring a bell there ya below average being???  I personally love the darkness...during the warmer summer months it is my favorite time to be out of the house...simply because there are far less F**KTARDS to run into...ya know what happens when you are kept in total darkness for 3 days and 3 nights???  You lose your sense of time...you bump into shit...you might injure yourself...or you have been abducted and need to FOCUS on getting out of a bad situation...you're probably being held captive by some...the Hills Have Eyes inhabitants..which in and of itself is far worse than going blind...ya know what happens if you shove your head up your ass for 3 days and 3 nights a la this individual???  You lose your sense of smell as well as your ability to manufacture anything other than shitty ideas...I'll tell ya...there are days...(many more than not)...that I just wanna run out into the water and pull the damn plug...drain the gene pool and start all over again...I have my own 3 day 3 night theory that might help people like this imposter of intelligence...wanna hear it???  I thought ya might...I propose that poorly educated puppets of this nature subscribe to a process of keeping their mouths shut for a period of 3 days and 3 nights...yeah yeah yeah...they might be a little famished when they are provided with food...but it will prevent them from appearing as though they have a higher number of eyelets on their shoes than the score of their IQ test...IMLTHO...(that's cyber speak for...In My Less Than Humble Opinion)...the Guardians of Google need to step up the search engine specifications and assign labels to categories for websites...IDC what they call them...FACT/FICTION...REAL BEEF/BULLSHIT...I hafta use search engines to conduct research for my work...I would love to be able to weed out all the wildly worthless websites that congest the internet...hell even hafta the crap you find on Wikipedia has little captions stating [citation needed] or help improve the page...for every page you find supporting facts or theories you can find just as many debunking it...ya damn near need to be Inspector Gadget of the Internet to sift through the ass loads of illegitimate ignorance asshats place on websites...I wish it were that easy to affect blindness in human beings...I'd have a bevy of elbow bumping zombies bouncing about this planet...try OPENING your mind...NOT just your eyes...when faced with data ONLY the offspring of Dubya should beleive!!!

HAIRLESS HAIRCUTS...OH MY

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced to the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men at 25 cents...

...and that should be all you need to know to keep from moving to Louisiana...2 things are blatantly disturbing about this little piece of prolific info...first and foremost...apparently there is an abundance of follicle challenged f**ktards in the state that visit a barber shop...and second there appears to be an abundance of unscrupulous barbers that are NOT only willing to dilly dally on a chrome dome but are also enticed to charge more for their efforts that could possibly be warranted...NOT many people suffer complete baldness on their cabeza...those that have an absence of cranial coverage normally ELECT to shave their heads bald for personal reasons...they do not visit a barber shop since they can take care of personal grooming techniques all by themselves...IDK when this little follicle fallout bill was passed but in the event it was passed before the invention of inflation...say in the 1920's...then that original quarter...at today's exchange rate...comes out to $1,958,436.00...(don't judge me...we deal with people that make shit up every day...it's my turn)...I love it when I hear currency comparisons of that nature...it makes people go...WOW...in reality .25 from the 1920's would be worth $2.87 on today's market due to inflation over the last 83 years...the REAL value of money comes from the collector sector of the industry...that same 1920 quarter in BU (Brilliant Uncirculated) condition can fetch anywhere between $155.00 and $3,135.00 depending on mint mark...pretty sad and revealing when numismatics will pay more for an old coin than your neighborhood bank would be willing to part with...what's even funnier is that there are no conversion charts at the places we spend money at...if your bald ass walked into a barbershop in Louisiana today...sat down and got a haircut...reached into your pocket...pulled out a 1920 Silver Liberty quarter in any condition to pay for your purchase...you ain't gettin' any change back...even a dollar bill printed in 2010 is worth $1.09 in 2013...so how in the hell do you get that extra pocket change from your old money???  You DON'T...it's a numbers game the federal reserve employs in concert with the government to justify raising prices and taxes...but we are straying off course here a little bit aren't we...here's the underlying problem you don't see when you read this terrible tidbit...the State government in the great state of Louisiana allowed a bill to be introduced regarding the highest price a bald man should pay for a haircut...as noted that price was capped at a quarter...25 cents...how much taxpayer money paid for these elected officials to sit around a table...debate the pros and cons...and vote on a decision whether or not to pass it??? I dare say significantly more than 25 cents...and for what??? An issue of unimportance...and this same procedure is magnified at the federal levels of government...just take a look at the dumb shit they are wasting our taxpaying dollars on today...still shoving around GUN CONTROL issues...have been for over twenty years...and for what??? IDK a single gun owner that is going to take their gun cabinet full of weapons to the local county office and hand them over...especially without compensation...and how many millions of dollars has this war on personal gun ownership added to the national debt???  I mention this for one very specific reason...the Dick Act of 1902...also known as the Militia Act of 1903...which was a bill introduced and passed by Congress that CANNOT be repealed...to do so would violate bills of attainder as well as ex post facto laws which would be yet another gross violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights...this bill was passed and PROTECTS personal gun ownership and SUPPORTS the 2nd Amendment...so we have basically watched our hard earned money get spent debating stricter gun control issues that CANNOT be enacted...tragic really when you think about it...let's say that little illogical Louisiana law cost the taxpayers $10,000.00 and let's say for sake of argument it was passed around 1920...that money was added to the national deficit...(yes state deficits are lumped together with the nations)...we can safely assume due to the governments inability and inadequacy in handling economic matters in the current era that they LEARNED this tactic from those in office before them...and in turn we can assume this money was not immediately repaid...it was therefore subject to those two magical words from the finance sector...INFLATION & INTEREST...the funny thing is that interest always trumps inflation...it's set up that way to keep those in control of the money comfortable and those needing money suffering and struggling...and who benefited from this bald haircut bill...NOBODY...even the bald guys that took advantage of this ruling paid taxes far exceeding the $0.25 they spent on each haircut...that is why it pays to PAY ATTENTION to bills being introduced and discussed in the chambers of Congress and the halls of the House...even if you do NOT think they apply to you...they do...all taxpayers pay for them on an annual basis...take a look at the Feinstein bullshit that ignorant bitch is trying to push through...banning personal ownership of guns for EVERYONE in Amerika that is NOT in political office or military uniform...IDK about the rest of you...but the last time I remember reading something about a nationwide law passing system of this nature...a HOLOCAUST followed shortly after!!!