FOOD FOR FODDER!!!

The FDA guidelines allow pepper to be sold with up to 1% of the volume made of rat droppings...

Well now...if memory serves we have addressed the fine folks at the FDA before...as well as their potential for promoting unhealthy practices associated with the foods we are being provided with for sustenance...while I don NOT find anything false or faulty about the information contained in the tidbit itself...it does warrant some thought processes associated with outside the box concepts and considerations...let's dissect this for a second shall we...I thought we might...first and foremost lets annihilate the acronym FDA...which ironically enough...stands for the FOOD & DRUG ADMINISTRATION...an internal federally mandated governing body established to ensure the ingredients allowed in FOOD stuff sold on store shelves...the other area of interest these fumbling f**ktards are responsible for are the DRUGS that are allowed to be sold in pharmaceutical stores around the world...this is where the bigger picture becomes murky and distorted...these asshats are directly responsible for the majority...if NOT all of the FOOD borne illnesses we are faced with...were they performing their JOBS as intended...the FOOD we are allowed to purchase would be healthy and sufficient for human consumption without causing unhealthy and potentially hazardous and fatalistic formats for feasting...if they were to properly perform the duties associated with the first letter of the acronym...FOOD...there would be less need for the second letter in the acronym to be mentioned...in other words we would NOT need the abundance of man made medical compounds they provide for STOPPING the effects of foul FOOD groups...they would be the FA...instead of the FDA...it's another vicious cycle promoted by our federal government to properly place all of our pennies in the pockets of the few instead of the plentiful poor...everything associated with a federal government...regardless of country of origin...revolves around the manufacturing of MONEY...whether it be unsupported or backed by gold...or if it is stolen form the citizens that make up the society of the system under which they are ruled...it's funny...sad...and tragic how complacent we are as members of such a society...we shrug off the obvious and buy into the promoted program without so much as taking a look at the sender of the box...we climb inside dutifully and continue to suffer at the hands of those we elect to be our saviors...STOP and consider for a moment the career path you have chosen...if you FAIL to meet the expectations of your employer on a constant and continuous basis...what happens???  you get FIRED...you are then among the ranks of the unemployed and must find a new way to fend for yourself...NOW...STOP and ask yourself what happens when a federal government employee drops the ball...on the job...so much so that the Harlem Globetrotters are considering giving them an audition for being the world's fastest basketball bouncer...that's right...they either get reprimanded with a small slap on the wrist...or worse...they get PROMOTED into a position to make even more ludicrous modifications allowing for larger...more hazardous conditions to occur...they do NOT get FIRED because their employers NO longer care...they have bought into the failed system they have been manipulated into believing is SAFE & SECURE...and who might those employers be???  You and I...we are responsible for allowing this to continue...by dutifully paying our federal and state taxes on an annual basis...we do this WITHOUT demanding more for our money...another aspect associated with improper hiring and firing conditions...it is up to each and every one of us to make a stand and have our demands heard and adhered to...the term 'federal' in front of an employment position or career opportunity can be easily translated into meaning 'ABSOLVED'...because in essence these EMPLOYEES are NOT held accountable for ANY of their actions...when a 'federal' employee of the U.S. government lies to the citizens they are supposed to protect it is called POLITICS...in contrast...when you or I lie to the 'federal' government...it is called a FELONY...doesn't seem FAIR does it...ONLY in AMERICA...land of the FOLLOWERS and home of the SLAVES!!!

MEATHEADED MUPPET!!!

During a kiss 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged...

While this information may hold some truth to it...once again it has been misrepresented by the half cautious always confused colostomy bag sniffing constituent that half heartedly farted out a half assed fact...the way in which this information has been presented entices the reader to believe this act is conducted in a gift giving atmosphere...NOBODY approaches the possible pleasure of receiving a passion filled peck on the plumply flesh protruding from just below the nose in the hopes of contracting some scientific petri dish full of delicious bacteria...NOR are they generally concerned with what other medical conditions might arise from such an interaction with an unknown...yet highly desirable exotic and erotic entity...they are more concerned with how much further along the base paths they can hope to achieve...as a home run is the happiest moment associated with baseball...it is also a very hearty and appreciated aspect associated with dating delicate damsels and dashing dudes on a fact finding foray of f**kery...depending on the level of experience inherent in the couple performing the kiss for the first time...anything short of hitting one for the fences may be viewed as similar in stature to sleeping with your chastity belt wearing slutless sister...reaching second base should only heighten the hopes of the pouty mouthed moocher...enticing them to stretch for a slide into third or the possible rounding of the hot corner and a head first slide into home plate...it should NOT under any circumstances cause the cautious kisser to reject the opportunity for advancement along the base paths...which is the ONLY conclusion an OCD dating dipshidiot can come up with...and that my friend is why people develop agoraphobia...once they have burned all of their potential bridges with the fairer sex there really isn't anything left to do but glove up and grab the tool yourself...I've NEVER...NOT one single time in my entire life looked at a lovely young lady and thought to myself...WOW...I'll bet kissing her is akin to tongue jacking the unclean ass crack of a Sasquatch stuffed with suppositories...NO folks...for the most part if I play my cards right it isn't the face of the frolicker I will be forced to endure during the ordeal...I therefore regard kissing as a means to an ultimate end...it is a painless procedure for procuring pussy...or penis...depending on your gender and personal preferences...it is NOT something that consenting adults continue to practice as anything more than a formality in the expectation of experiencing a more pleasurable past time...those of you who concern yourselves with the concept of contracting a bacterial infection from your plunging into the pouty protrusions of a passionate princess...I'm absolutely confident there are less than five notches in your conquest containing cummerbund...you are more than likely single with a solo hairy knuckled shaving situation...chances are you have more pets than actual performing partners void of pajamas...your main hobbies are living with your mother and shredding your semen soiled socks in an effort to conceal your inability to bed a beautiful babe...your future is so bright you need optical enhancing equipment just to get a glimpse of the gherkin you will be jerkin for the rest of your life...it's sad really when someone misses out on the vital information offered in the science and sex education class room environment...I am thankful though that there are people from this planet who fear procreationary procedures due to their perplexing position regarding the exchange of collaborating bacteria colonies bouncing around from a single kiss...if NOTHING else I have one less fear associated with them participating in the over population of the planet with peanut brained ass jockeys...I mean sure there are sexy citizens out there that have everything going on with their outwardly appearances...and yet neglect to take the proper care of their kissing apparatus...and that is what pillows are for...they present a nice soft...face first solution for getting down to business...let this be a lesson to you lads...if you want to get laid...do not lead off with a lesson in personal hygiene...it tends to dampen the spirit and destroy the desire to copulate with the offensive bacteria colony collecting kisser...in other words...you hafta think outside the box..in order to get deeper inside the box...if ya smell what I'm steppin in lemme hear a HALLELUJAH!!!

JUNK JIF JEWELERY!!!

Real diamonds can be made from peanut butter...

Fo' real yo...how about ya finish the damn sentence there...oh magi of the modern world of diamond manufacturing...like in order to accomplish such a troubling task you need a heat source capable of achieving 2,000 degrees F...and an abundance of increasingly high pressure...diamonds can be created out of just about anything carbon based...when they occur naturally it is over the course of several millennium...NOT a matter of minutes using a multitude of man made ingredients...producing crystal clear diamonds from peanut butter is NOT something you're gonna be able to accomplish from the comfort of your own kitchen...if it were that simple NONE of us would be suffering an economic collapse controlled by China...the intense pressure required to pull off a performance of this perplexing possibility is enough to make even the most anal retentive among us annihilate an ass gasket...anti gay activists with their shitters sewn shut would have a hard time creating a concoction of this magnitude...let alone a Subway sandwich maker...I find it necessary to notify the non-aware of the nuances associated with attempting to manufacture a multitude of man made diamonds...simply because the expense of procuring the proper implements compares closely with that of the National deficit...in other words...don't go spending all your pennies on peanut butter in an ass backwards attempt to strike it rich over night...I have nightmares of millions of money suffering minions mulling about the local grocery store in search of sandwich solutions that will allow them to save for the future...seriously...don't be that damn DUMB...don'tcha think for a second that if this was a simple solution to solving the current economic condition I woulda monopolized it by now...ya oughtta know better by now...this forum is all about education...the type NOT taught in institutions of higher learning at any level...if I have done NOTHING else...at least allow me the simple pleasure of realizing my readers are NOT as STUPID as those that provide the fodder for our daily foray into false fictional fumblings from the feeble minded few that frolic in the fumes of f**ktardom...if you read this tidbit and immediately manufacture a shopping list complete with plenty of packages of peanut butter...Imma hafta slap you silly with a soggy piece of exterior sandwich solution...As almost everything on this planet is carbon based...it stands to reason that a total collapse of the atmosphere would create the most prized jewel in the junk we currently call the cosmos...this planet and everything on it would be subject to surface temperatures far in excess of the 2,000 F degrees required...as well as an insurmountable amount of pressure...so rather then throw your money at a manufacturer of peanut butter...such as JIF or PETER PAN...build yourself a space station instead and wait for the end of the world...if NOTHING else you will be able to escape the assinine confines of Earth and the dipshidiots that occupy it...(a dipshidiot is an individual that personifies a dipshit and an idiot simultaneously)...I can't think of a better ending to this story than to say...if you are this DAMN DUMB...surround yourself with less intelligent individuals...it's the ONLY way you're gonna look wonderful and wise...Imma steal a line from my new favorite commercials...remember...IT'S ONLY WEIRD IF IT DOESN'T WORK!!!

YOU SMOKE A DA HAPPY SMOKE!!!

Clouds fly higher during the day than they do at night...

I'm pleased as punch that I am NOT the only one participating in the efforts to legalize marijuana on a recreational level...because let's face it...those suffering from a medical malady which requires the use of marijuana in order to alleviate pain or problems do NOT sit outside gawkin' at the globs of white fluffy stuff flying through the sky...only people with a true passion to PUFF...PUFF...PASS for mind expansion exercises can come up with somethin' this stupid...that isn't to say that everyone smokin' da happy smoke is capable of drawing such colossal conclusions of cloud confusion after imbibing on the business end of a HOOKAH...but it sure is fun to see what they come up with...clouds are created through different means...and therefore have different DENSITIES...which determines at what level they will fly...it is completely unrelated to the presence of light or dark...as this aspect has no bearing on the ability of a cloud to fly...at any height...what does have an effect on the appearance of clouds in flight is the condition of the optical observers one uses to take a peek at them while they are passing...under normal uninhibited circumstances clouds will appear at different heights according to the DENSITY they have developed...whereas viewing them through eyeballs attached to the mind of a recreational marijuana user can cause them to appear as being further away or close enough to touch...it can also create the appearance of shape shifting configurations...where the drug addled mind contorts the image into something mystical and magical...such as the face of a deity or demigod...or the appearance of a fluffy bunny...unicorn or some other worldly apparition that has yet to be proven to exist...I know there are some among us that believe they have seen clouds soaring higher during the day than they do at night...while NOT partaking of a favorite past time such as marijuana inhalation...do NOT be fooled...for these mental midgets double as mountain climbers and are therefore establishing a higher viewing platform...they should NOT be included in the cloud carrying conversation...the degree of density regarding the amount of THC in the marijuana the cloud curious client is fortunate enough to find might also play a part in determining at what time the obscure observer witnesses cloud cover passing by...as 4:20 appears to be the time for participating in recreational use of the medicinal non man made plant...if the toxicity of the THC content is such that a nap is sure to follow in short order...then the consumer may witness cloud cover and density that clogs their minds closer to home than those flying above in the atmosphere...creating the illusion that things are creeping closer than they should under normal circumstances...have NO fear folks for there are many like me capable of tolerating the highest degrees of THC...while simultaneously keeping our feet firmly planted on the ground and in reality...we are well aware of the effects marijuana has on the human condition...and we inhale responsibly...as opposed to the excesses we enjoyed in our youth...we seldom venture off on wild adventures through a muddled mind without the forethought of being able to figure things out...I find it sad that this asshat missed a golden opportunity to further the cause for herbal legalization...since so many great minds before him were quite capable of developing in depth details to go along with their discoveries...the majority of forward thinking magi...Einstein... Newton and a plethora of other historic personalities made their greatest observations while expanding the imagination through the use of marijuana...I know...I know...it isn't in any of the text books describing the personal preferences of those that produced vivid recreations of the images that crept into their minds while taking a few puffs from a pakalolo pipe...but the fact remains this plant has more possibilities than an elephant farm full of peanut plants...it expands the mind...relaxes problems areas associated with pain...it combats deadly diseases like cancer...as well as providing industrial strength renewable fiber for product manufacturing...and let's NOT forget the energy that can be derived from it making it a useful resource for fuel in an abundance of things...it remains illegal to this day because it would single handedly solve a multitude of maladies that adversely affect our economy...that's a big NO-NO for fear mongering forms of government...(see U.S. Politics buttf**king citizens for the profit of big business for further fact finding information)... unemployment rates would dwindle overnight...citizens once viewed as being a menace to society would hafta be reinvented as the saviors of a fallen society...renewable energy sources established by those wanting to keep coal burning and fossil fuel solutions available until they have been entirely exhausted would hafta fold up shop and make a living like the rest of us...as slaves to a dysfunctional system...the cost of material goods would plummet to prices affordable on any budget...healthcare reform could be handled in the garden behind every house with a condition...closing down the majority of side effect inducing pharmaceutical companies...the National Deficit could be repaid in a matter of years instead of millennium...thereby establishing a TRUE world power capable of caring for its citizens without the need to make them fearful little servants and subjects...STOP and think about it for a minute...I am far more funny when I've had my daily fix of marijuana...proud sponsor of...UHMMM...WE FORGET!!!

HMMMM...TOO MUCH TOOTHPICK!!!

A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans...

Do you know how absolutely DUMB you hafta be to choke on a TOOTHPICK...I mean seriously...their for your TEETH...WTF could you be diggin' for that far back you end up chokin' on the damn thing...chew your food a little there Sasquatch...holy crap...whaddaya makin' throat d'ouvres how do ya NOT swallow a chicken bone first...slow down there's plenty to go around...perhaps that new fangled idea...DENTAL FLOSS...could help a few of you less than capable chomper cleaners...I don't understand this level of stupidity...there's NO place for it...outside of politics...and if they were the ones chokin' on these objects...I'd suggest making them bigger...which probably isn't a bad idea in and of itself...I mean part of the problem hasta be that these items are too small to fill the gap between those picket fence style fangs these choke artists have...if you can fit a full cob of corn between the first two teefers in your tongue tank...usin' toothpicks is a NO-NO...try a few small branches hedged fresh from the tree in the front yard...if ya live in an arid location void of trees...grab a hunk of clothesline or boat rope and try the flossin' method ya damn gorilla...this is why ya shouldn't put toothpicks in your fruit chunks and vegetable trays...apparently some people can't tell the difference between sharp pointy wooden objects and FOOD...how wouldja like to have that stamped on your eternal memory marker...HERE LIES CHUNKY CHARLES CHEDDAR CHIN...CHOKED TO DEATH ON A CHIP OFF THE OLD COFFIN...kinda hard to feel sorry for someone like that...unless of course it has happened to someone you know...in which case you should be multi-mourning...for them...as well as for yourself for having friends that feeble minded and forgetful...and lemme just say that if this applies to females...I feel BAD for your BOYFRIEND...that poor fella hasta be about as anatomically Adonis as a Ken doll...like a hamster hair atta thousand yards...IDK who taught these f**ktards how to feel around for leftover morsels of their last meal...but you really don't need to shove a whole fist in your face to get forgotten food particles free from your fangs...I think the number one thing Americans choke on is BULLSHIT...it's fed to us everyday...in the papers...on the internet...on FOX NEWS...it gets any deeper and we're all gonna be livin' on the tallest mountains...fightin' for space...it can't be toothpicks...how do people choke on somethin' that costs less than a penny to make...that'sa whole new level of ignorance right there...they oughtta give an award for that...like say the Presidency...or at least a career path in politics...it's pathetic to think that people in this day and age can swallow somethin' this slender and possibly suffer some horrific hacking fit of fatality...for f**k's sake figure it out folks...it's smaller than a finger...and should hafta snap before making it that far down your garbage guzzlin' gullet...how proud your parents must be if you are one of these people with a passion for turnin' purple with toothpicks...coat hanger halo wearin' hooligans...I wonder what kinda inbreedin' hasta take place for a toothpick swallowin contest to go horribly wrong...swamp people aren't this stupid...which can only mean that some hillybilly slept with his sister's grandmother's daughter...did it take ya a few minutes to figure that one out???  Then you are hereby banned from trying to toss toothpicks with your tonsils...put your helmet back on...tighten up that chinstrap and make sure you wear a mouth guard...safety goggles and a full cage face mask...we wouldn't wantcha pokin' an eye out with a wet noodle or nuthin'...hell if you're goin to a buffet or a social function...ya might wanna armor out like you were a junkyard jouster and just go for broke on that there fruit and salad bar...ya doughnut dunkin' dipshit...have a great Monday folks!!!

NOCTURNAL ILLUMINATIONS!!!

It is possible to see a rainbow at night...

...and this my friends is why I stick to marijuana...the hallucinatory concoctions cause you to SEE things that are NOT there...listen...this is basic simple science...taught in the first grade...light is defined as having VISIBLE wavelengths...in conjunction with wavelengths that are INVISIBLE to the naked eye...when light passes through a PRISM it shatters and separates into the vibrant ROYGBIV color combination that represents a rainbow...since it takes water in the form of RAIN...as well as an abundance of LIGHT...and a magical combination of raindrop placement in comparison to the rays of the SUN to create a RAINBOW...I feel confident in calling this asshat out on their bullshit...there are TWO...count them...#1...#2...places on this entire PLANET where you can witness firsthand a MOONBOW...which is a completely different creature of nature...one of those places is here in the United States...located in Kentucky...the other is on the other side of the Atlantic...at both locations the presence of a MOONBOW occurs twice annually...when the MOON aligns with the specific river system to create the BOW...when this happens the light cast from the FULL MOON does not separate and fragment into the vibrant colors associated with a RAINBOW...instead the light hits the base of the waterfall where water droplets...which we call MIST...reflect the moon light and display it in a wide all WHITE bow effect...how do I know this to be true...because my Momma took me whitewater rafting on the river in Kentucky where this can occur...NOT believing the plaque describing the scheduling of this event...I took it upon myself to make plans to return to the area on one of the dates indicated...and it does happen...if you are seein' RAINBOWS at night...you apparently spent way too much time frolicking around frat houses...instead of burying your head in the books you paid for...it's NO wonder we can't get marijuana legalized for recreational use...f**tards like this are the reason a harmless substance like marijuana getsa bad rap...the only way you can see a RAINBOW at night is if you adhere to the hourly designation which determines AM from PM...obviously there are parts of the world where daylight continues to shine...well after NOON but that requires an abundance of ignorance to be incorporated into the equation...something I lack in massive quantities...I tell ya folks...I gave up weeping for the future a long time ago...it was causing a flood of biblical proportions...and while it would have rinsed the world of millions of rejects...I feared federal repercussions might follow if I continued...because in this day and age it isn't illegal for a drunk to build a boat...but they sure wouldn't be allowed to pilot it...which woulda been a disaster for those of us stuck in the Ark two by two...NO folks...the ONLY way to see a RAINBOW at night is by using GOOGLE images in the dark...cuz that kinda shit don't happen round dese parts ya hear...you have a better chance of being probed by a planet hopping intergalactic Sasquatch named Chewbacca than ya do of witnessing color refracting compilations created by the SUN...during hours of DARKNESS...ya know why we don't have a hunting season for STUPID people???  Two basic reasons...#1 it would require a complete deforestation of the planet just to print the permits...and #2 it would deplete ammunition stock that our military desperately needs at the moment...NOT too mention how arthritic my trigger finger would be after just a single day...this idiot proves one thing to me if nothing else...we shouldn't worry about what other people think; they don't do it very often themselves!!!

ANAL VAPOR CONNOISSEUR!!!

The temperature of a fart at the moment of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit...

 Well know aren't we all a little smarter...seeing as how the normothermia or euthermia...which is the normal temperature range of the human body is 98.6 degrees F...something EVERYONE that has ever had a biology class will be able to identify with...which in turn means that the cranial cavity of the anal vapor connoisseur that came up with this tidbit is slightly higher...probably in the range of 101.5 degrees F...since they have apparently elected to determine the internal temperature of the fart producing combustion chamber...through osmotic methods consisting of cramming their cabeza firmly between the cheeks of their own caca chute...and here again we find ourselves focusing too much on what the tidbit boasts...rather than what it says about those that read it and accept it at face value...how many of you can identify what is wrong with the information displayed above???  ANYONE...oh come on now class...NOBODY is EVER gonna graduate and get their Diploma if we can't all stay on the same page and continue to think logically...okay...time's up...pencils down and papers forward please...the correct answer is TEMPERATURE...it should NOT be the primary concern associated with vulgar vaporous vacuums created by anal air escapage...I myself have had several occasions in which I have purposely floated an air biscuit in the general vicinity of unsuspecting individuals...and NOT once has any of them gone running from the room...peeling their clothes off because the excess of heat in the immediate area became too stifling...NO folks...the temperature of a fart at the moment of creation is NOT what people tend to focus on when one of these hairy butt nugget bellows forth like a blue whale breaching the surface for another gulp of air...people in general tend to run screaming from these indecent incidents with their noses covered and tears streaming from their eyes...in situations where I am involved...they tend to trip the light fantastic with tachyon speed...trust me...it's like being maskless in mausoleum full of mustard gas...there's no where to run...no where to hide...it's like being caught by the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz...I'll get you my pretty...and while the ambient temperature of the room I trap you in for the unearthly experience will NOT rise drastically...it is still possible for paint to peel from the walls...for body hair to become singed...for eyes to lose focus...in rare cases even an upsetting of the equilibrium has been noticed...this is documented by the bevy of butt breath breathers that bounce from wall to wall trying to find the exit...I have NEVER been sitting somewhere and let a lap lifter flow and had somebody say..."Didja turn up the heat in here...it's awful damn hot"...NOT one single time...probably because the taste is worse than the smell...so it's better to keep your mouth shut in all instances of intestinal invasion...so as to refrain from regurgitation...people that are overly concerned with the temperature of a burp from the brown eye...are delusional at best...for them it is too late to shift gears and change directions...NO matter how hard you try to convince them otherwise...they will continue to crawl around collecting incorrect information in regards to rapid rectal evacuation mechanics...I'll letcha in on a little secret...you have a better chance of surviving a situation involving stepping in Sasquatch shit...than you do of escaping with your faculties intact if you are in the same room with me when I masticate something that manufactures a multitude of methane...seems to run in the family as well...my same sex sibling was once mistaken for a bear on a hunting trip in the Redwoods of California...while taking a break for lunch one day...my younger brother Shaun ripped a rectal rat of epic proportions...I have NEVER seen anyone move with such wreckless abandon and super sonic survival speed...our step-father and expert hunting guide at the time...dropped everything but his bowels in an...'I'll save the world'...grab for his gun...that man racked a live round into the chamber and surveyed the scene like a future member of Seal Team Six on the hunt for Osama...it was scary as hell since Shaun and I were both fairly sure he had flipped his feeble mind...the memory is so surreal I can still see every second as if it were slowed down in some sort of twisted time warp...and I dare say it wasn't the temperature of the turbulent turd turbine that tempted him to act on instinct...it wasn't even initially the smell...it was the super sonic sound and echo through the forest...had I NOT been sitting on the rock next to Shaun...and recognized the anal escapage for what it was...I could very well have grown up thinking I had heard the screams of a day watching wookie known outside the Star Wars community as a Sasquatch...and with that I suppose our time here today has come to an end...for those that are concerned about the aspect of being offensive when orating anally...I recommend ramming rose petals into the poop hole protectors you place on your person in the hope of harnessing a more attractive aroma for your dark eye departures!!!

AHHHH TEN HUT!!!

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could knock down the bridge...

Listen...I'm havin trouble figurin out if this is an actual tidbit...or a sentence from a fifth graders bad research paper...look I'm no military genius...and some of their tactics are beyond comprehension...especially in this day and age with regards to transportation with LPC's...(Leather Personnel Carriers)...BOOTS PEOPLE...BOOTS...but ya don't hafta be a war historian to realize the real reason soldiers do not cross a bridge while marching in step...a bridge is a confined area...with very little in the way of COVER or CONCEALMENT...they therefore provide an excellent KILL ZONE...you cross a bridge one man at a time to minimize the potential for exposure and damage in the form of DEAD soldiers...a battalion of battle hardened soldiers is much easier to manage if the people in it are ALIVE...walking across a bridge...in or outta step has NEVER caused a bridge to FALL..it has caused some to be BOMBED...after which they fell...but that was more than a well timed vibratory occurrence...a very famous event in WWII history...at the hands of General George Patton...depicts the degree of attention given to this theory...realizing that the troops under his command were exposed to the enemy...when a farmer and his stubborn mule obstructed a bridge he and his men were crossing...Patton pulled his ivory covered iron and shot the mule on sight...ordering his men to discard of the animal and proceed...some in the military and here back at home shuddered at the sheer audacity with which Patton carried out this task...those that were on that bridge that day may not have realized it at the moment...but that single act of soldiery allowed each and every one of those men to live another day...bridges create avenues of opportunity for the enemy as well as the allies...controlling them is an essential part of winning any war...they provide avenues of opportunity for both the enemy and the ally...in the form of supply chain routes and key access incursion points...if the army in your country creates such a violent vibration when walking as to allude to the possibility of complete and total destruction of a bridge...I dare say the obesity epidemic of that country far exceeds anything we are experiencing here in the United States...in which case...knocking the bridge down is the least of their worries...in this day and age of modern technology as it applies to warfare...large troop movements are conducted with massive transportation devices...such as PLANES...BOATS & TRUCKS...brigades and battalions seldom MARCH together at all...simply because they provide a LARGER target...small team tactics are taught and adhered to...troop movement is conducted in squads...smaller targets...less damage...destruction and DEATH...bridges are fought over with PLANES and TANKS as opposed to stand alone soldiers...ya know what does cause bridges to come crumbling and crashing down through extensive vibratory forces...EARTHQUAKES...natural occurring forces beyond the current control of man...although every country on this planet is involved in weather manipulation...which accounts for an increase in the Global Warming theory...another item in human history we can look back on in twenty years and realize how absolutely ridiculous we were...on a side note I would like to APPLAUD the 20+ states that have initiated petitions to the White House to peacefully secede from the Union...it is high time the rest of the country became as disgruntled as I am with the current political landscape...while I doubt the federal government will simply roll over and allow a peaceful secession by the states and the people that NO longer have faith in the corrupt for of control the asshats in D.C. impose...it is a step in the right direction...the state of Texas attained well over the 25,000 signatures required to garner a response from the administration...a peaceful resolution to this mess is highly unlikely...since those that are currently in charge stand to lose their jobs and control of the power pie...kinda hard to point the fingers at others and demand money you don't deserve if you allow the people you impose your wicked ways on to just up and leave...I'm excited to see where this leads next...because I for one would LOVE to see the states regain their independence for tyranny...Michigan is also on the list...you can sign the petition yourself online if you wish...and why NOT...we control a couple significant bridge formations...one of which is crossed annually by MILLIONS of people in a single day...who are WALKING...or marching...and it has yet to collapse...so I feel confident in saying we're SAFE in that respect...the secession of the states is the ONLY way to return POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!

THAT'S JUST RETARDED!!!

Manhole covers are round so they don't fall in the hole...

...and here I was...having manufactured several thousand of these items myself...thinking they were made that way because the other components of a manhole were ROUND...I'm fairly certain that a cover for ANYTHING is created AFTER the actual thing it is designed to COVER has been created...which is why manhole covers aren't SQUARE or TRIANGULAR in shape...to be completely honest I always thought manhole covers were made outta cloth or fabric...isn't that what the ladies wear these days...cotton or silk panties...pajama bottoms or pants...I mean those are the manhole covers we should be concerned with...they can be more difficult to remove and gain access to than anything made from iron and placed in the street...I mean...unless I've missed something...NOBODY comes hunting you down with a shotgun for entering a city's sewer system...unless of course you are a felon on the run...and they happen to see you make your getaway through one of these tunnels...some manholes may not be covered with designer jeans and different types of cloth...there are those that go commando and wear skirts...a more or less open air gutter tunnel solution...safe to venture near yet just as dangerous...as those that venture too far may become lost for several hours...in certain parts of the underdeveloped world manhole covers may appear hidden behind hideous overgrown bushes that are damn near impenetrable...wiry and thick with thorns...work in these areas needs to be down with and industrial strength hedge trimmer...and possibly a chainsaw...depending on relative thickness and age of the shrubbery...caution is highly recommended...prospective individuals are advised NOT to enter alone...seek the assistance of a qualified safari guide...to prevent the entanglement of your little soldier...manhole covers come in a variety of configurations...complete with trapdoors and trickery...some of them actually have full working ovens with loaves of bread...(and the stench of fishes)...as enticements for those that travel too close to an opening...while others require a full hazardous material outfit in order to enter...they also come in an abundance of different sizes...some are so narrow that it would be difficult to drive a toothpick in there with a jackhammer...while some are so wide you could throw a blue whale through the opening with room to spare on all sides...there are also varying degrees of depth...some are rather shallow and bottom out rather quickly...while others appear bottomless and contain the objects that fall into them for centuries...NO sir...messin' with manhole covers is NOT a past time for the faint of heart or the squeemish...unprepared prospects can become lost...injured...suffering scrapes or bruises...or in some cases experience near fatal tragedies from the protectors of the covers...the tools of the trade for gaining access to these difficult areas might include...currency...credit cards...alcoholic beverages and bush trimming techniques...additional protective gear may also be necessary depending on the current situation...a respirator or snorkel might be of service for those entering head first...toxic material is always a possibility when messin' with these mammoth mammalian manhole manifestations...travel maps may also be necessary as the majority of these systems have a rear exit hatch in close proximity...while some of these locations are intended for alternate access...the majority of them are used as exhaust vents for emanating toxic fumes...complex gaseous eruptions may occur if these areas if the one performing the work gets caught in the ventilation shaft...entire lives have been spent attempting to figure out the fail safe techniques of unassing a manhole cover...wars have been fought over the unauthorized access to these systems...NO folks...it isn't the shape of the manhole cover that needs to be addressed...it is the size and smell that matters most...while some are a complete and total mess...there are those worthy of exploration...I may not always choose the right manhole covers to manipulate...but when I do it is with the foresight of deforestation and anti-fungal formulas...stay protected my friends!!!

COUNT DOGULA?!?!?!?!

A vampire can occur if a cat or dog walks across a fresh grave...

Imma hafta call BULLSHIT on this one...vampires...the entire myth of vampires revolves around BATS...NOBODY in the history of Vampirical Volumes has EVER turned into a dog or cat...WEREWOLVES are associated with DOGS...and cats have always been associated with WITCHCRAFT...it wouldn't hurt this colostomy bag connoisseur to read a damn book...if dogs and cats were responsible for hatching a vampire simply by walking across a fresh grave...they would be extinct animals we could ONLY view in historical texts...man...in his infinite wisdom is ill equipped to handle things they do NOT immediately understand...if any of them thought this were true these animals would have been hunted and eradicated from the animal kingdom...because that is what we do...we protect ourselves from imaginary things we think might pose the potential to HARM us in anyway...Bram Stoker used BATS as his primary production critter for creating Count Dracula...because???  People of that era feared BATS...especially those they saw attacking animals such as COWS...they witnessed the bite marks the BATS left behind and figured that if these tiny winged creatures were capable of attacking an enormous object such as a herd of cattle...then they must be able to HARM humans as well...it didn't help when horrendous mass murderers took advantage of this myth to advance their own methods of murder...they quickly began to BUY into the myth and decide for themselves that they needed extra protection...in the form of garlic, crosses and wooden stakes...they didn't however get rid of the family PET...they kept them around as an early warning system...I love mythology...especially from this era and older tales...because damn near every mythical creature we create from our imaginations are based in REALITY...blood letting rituals still exist to this very day...in several tribal communities...these rituals can be spiritual in nature or a rite of passage...they have been in existence for centuries...Unicorns...dragons...and even our own Sasquatch sightings...all came from something based in reality...whether it was a zebra standing alongside a rhino at just the right angle that promoted the idea of the unicorn...or a malformed horse like creature that somebody witnessed in the wild at one time...NOBODY just wakes up one day and invents an entirely NEW species of animal...it doesn't happen...our imaginations are closely tied with what we SEE in our physical world...we animate them and give them powers they wouldn't NORMALLY have...but the basis for the creature and the NEW design is steeped in a realistic figure...this can be easily proven by looking at ancient hieroglyphs and cave drawings...these people had very limited knowledge...as far as we can tell...which baffles historians...archaeologists and theorists around the globe...since their depictions resemble things we have ONLY become familiar with in recent modern times...these people didn't wake up one day sitting around the camp fire discussing what NEW creature they could draw on the walls to confuse the masses that came behind them...they depicted things they were witnessing in order to tell a story...it is human nature to pass down tales and folklore from one generation to the next...these 'RUMORS' are based in fact at some point in the history of the civilization they are told in...if you travel around the planet...or just watch a few things on the History Channel or Discovery...you can witness some of these ancient artifacts that have been left behind for us to puzzle over...objects that look remarkably like things we have only begun to create...such as manned flight...airplane like objects...complete with rudders and wings...NOT bird like creatures...since birds do NOT possess...NOR have they ever...an upright tail fin...uniquely designed depictions of humanoid like creatures completely decked out in space suits for interstellar flight...these things are found in places around the world where ancient civilizations had NO method of transportation to other continents...the same can be said for the remainder of our myths and unknown history...at some point in time SOMEBODY witnessed SOMETHING they either identified correctly...or misinterpreted...if you try and use your imagination to dream up a truly unique and individual character you will undoubtedly think NO other such creature exists...and you may be right,,,in your current configuration...but the images that you drew it from come from SOMETHING you have witnessed with your own eyes...this in NO way means that this tidbit is authentic...there is a HUGE difference between imagination and ignorance...keep in mind that DUMB people are a plentiful resource...perhaps they should be our alternative energy source!!!

ITSA DESERT...HELLO???

There are no permanent rivers in Saudi Arabia...

Well...I didn't need an education course in cartography to figure that out all on my own...there are seldom any permanent rivers in the middle of a desert...no but seriously...has this idiot NEVER looked at a map...there are several rivers that run through Saudi Arabia...one of which spans the country from one body of sea water to another...how do these people get drinkable water if they have NO permanent fresh water resources...even if this asshat is half right and the surface rivers dry up during the dry season...there has gotta be permanent underground river systems which supply fresh water resources for the dumbasses that choose to live in a DESERT...it reminds me of something Sam Kinison in one of his stage performances...ya know why the people in these regions are starving???  Because they live in the DESERT...ITS SAND...NOTHING GROWS IN SAND...if ya wanna STOP STARVATION quit sending them food...relocate them to an area with less SAND...same applies for dry area and regions with little or NO permanent fresh water supplies...try and pay attention to the various animals in the kingdom in your surrounding area...they migrate to where the water is...without it they will DIE...as will you and your neighbors...I mean how simple can it be...here's an area where NOTHING grows...and NO other animals are present...let's set up a village right HERE and see what happens...that is the most f**ktarded thing I've ever heard of...I mean seriously...what were you expecting...salvation through SAND???  I personally don't care...in my opinion those people get what they deserve...riding around the desert on camels...covered from head to toe in bed linens...why dontcha build a sweat hut to swelter in while you're at it...I find it very improbable that the Saudi Elite...those in control of the countries vast oil supply...are trading their commodity for fresh water...they wouldn't be as filthy rich as they are...bottled water companies around the world would be the top dog on the financial scene...oil prices would drop and gas prices would return to their previous levels...NOBODY lives in an area permanently when there is NO available fresh water resource...it is impossible...WATER is one of the key elements for SURVIVAL...even with bottled water being available in several areas...if you do NOT have the finances to procure the supply you will need it won't matter...and since SAND is NOT a suitable resource for anything aside from glass production and castle constructions on the beach...chances are you are gonna need to have a variable resource for providing an income...as much as I appreciate the warmer climates associated with some of these regions...there are places I would choose NOT to live...places with more SAND than WATER top the list...I do suppose it is possible for this tidbit to be true...it would explain why there have NEVER been any BIGFOOT sightings in Saudi Arabia...NOTHING to hide behind...and NO source of sustenance...making these hairy creatures smarter than some of their human counterparts...this is what happens when you wrap your head in towels...it dampens the level of knowledge and common sense for the clown wearing their washcloths on their head...try moving slightly north of the Tropic of Cancer...the climate change won't be that significant...and the water supply will be in wider abundance...buncha camel hump hooligans anyway!!!

CRAZY CANADIANS!!!

Approximately 16 Canadians have there appendices removed, when not required, every day...

Well doesn't that beat all...I mean I've heard of elective surgery but this takes the cake...it's one thing to have your appendix removed when it needs to be...but to schedule an operation for a surgery that doesn't need to be conducted seems sorta Guinea piggish to me...I mean I know they get free health care in Canada...but come on...16 people a day are occupying surgical facilities for unnecessary procedures while others might be more in need of life saving techniques...that's just wrong...having yourself opened up for reasons that don't make sense usually leads to further medical problems in the future...hospitals are notorious from spreading diseases...even in the cleanest environments the risk is not worth the reward...even if medical care in your country is conducted free of charge to the client...it's one thing to consult with a physician for a surgery that needs to take place...it's quite another to call one up and ask to be scheduled to have a surgical procedure conducted that could be avoided throughout life...I mean if you're gonna have an elective surgery performed...why not schedule a cranial anal removal process...it will apparently be more beneficial for all concerned...seriously...if your head was in the right atmosphere you wouldn't just walk into a health care clinic and request a surgical procedure out of the blue...and here's the other problem...if there are that many Canadians getting this procedure done on a daily basis...wouldn't they have gone through everyone in the country by now...there can't be more than a weeks worth of work for the doctors...there just aren't enough citizens...I would think that for job security reasons you would want to dissuade your prospective clients from having unnecessary services rendered...you might wanna consider that if you wanna remain employed in your prestigious professional position...otherwise people are gonna stop coming to see you because they won't need doctors anymore...all their problems will be solved before they ever have a chance to have any issues...normally I would have more to say on the subject but I am exhausted from a fairly long day...tune back in tomorrow to find out what I hafta say on our next subject of stupidity...I gotta get to bed before I fall asleep face first on my keyboard...have a great day!!!

MANI-PEDI-PURE!!!

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails...

...and this is useful information for who...the forgotten relatives of Chinese people that's who...the poor Taiwanese people that couldn't make it as restaurant owners or dry cleaning operators...you know...those funny little masked vermin that speak about you and your hideous feet while they are filing away on those godawful disgusting tree bark shaving talons protruding from the front edges of your toes...I doubt very seriously that your fingernails...which ironically happen to be made from the same material composition as toenails...grow any quicker...especially during the warmer summer months when people are more inclined to wear sandals or go bare foot...who thinks up these things...maybe you don't clip our toenails as often because you have trouble seeing them...but that's a dietary condition...NOT an abnormal fingernail growing hormone...I mean seriously...does it even matter...who cares how fast they grow so long as you keep them trimmed enough to conduct your daily duties...apparently this idiot has taken a look at too many women...the ones that wear fake fingernails glue on catastrophes...mistakenly identifying those as abnormal growth spurts...and why is it that women only glue on extensions to their fingernails...you're part of the problem...confusing these ass clowns...what are those extensions for anyway...I know some men prefer women with longer nails for back scratching sexual endeavors...but come on...they can't be anything but in the way...I've watched women try to work with these big hideous things off the tips of their fingers...it's ridiculous...gotta be a real pain in the ass when you're tryin to clean up after using the bathroom...I mean really...here's the thing...if someone actually took the time to study the various speeds at which fingernails and toenails grew...it would represent two things...a waste of time and money...and some piss poor personal grooming habits...ya coulda saved the money ya spent on the scientific study to figure out shit NOBODY cares about...and bought your ass a pair of clippers to take care of that varying growth thing you got goin on there...I'm NOT quite sure why we haven't evolved beyond needing these things anyway...I mean I get how the fingernails still come in handy for diggin' beneath things but we haven't used toenails since the Annunaki came down and spliced their DNA with that of the apes that were already here...once we lost fur and the ability to provid a feast for fleas and other flying hopping insects we NO longer needed toenails for group grooming exercises...they've become an item we could do without...kinda like common sense in most folks...it's there...they just have NO use for it...it'd be one thing if we still used our feet as a second set of hands...like the primate ancestors we came from...but most of us don't...there are apparently a few of us that still muddle around in the swamps and rain forests where these creatures do exist...I use the keyboard on my computer alot...writing articles...the tidbit...short stories in what little spare time I do have...I can't stand the feeling of the keys on my fingernails...so they seldom get very long...I also spend an extensive amount of time with my shoes off and my toenails exposed...being as they are insignificant I often neglect to clip them as often...probably since I don't type with my feet...and yet I can still manage to keep them short enough others don't trip over them...unless you still have ancestors swingin' from trees...ya might wanna have someone sandblast the edges off your overgrown tree stump removal tools!!!

HOCUS POCUS TRY AND FOCUS!!!

When medieval Europeans burned witches, their families had to pay for the firewood...

This is a part of human history I NEVER really understood...lemme get this straight...villagers used to run around and point fingers at people they believed were witches and warlocks...people they had a FEAR of...individuals that they thought posed potential HARM to the rest of the community if they were left alone to practice their MAGIC...you remember MAGIC don'tcha???  It's what witches were famous for...being able to turn humans into creatures of the most hideous configuration...they were accused of being able to vanish in thin air...of being able to set things on FIRE with a gaze...they brewed up concoctions and potions that allowed them greater freedom to manipulate man...and yet they were completely DEFENSELESS when abducted and hauled off to the nearest bonfire...what were they all drinkin' from the same spoiled water source...the well of knowledge a little more shallow on the European continent is it???  Thankfully the smart ones built a damn boat and went in search of smarter living conditions...otherwise we'd all be runnin' around messin with the people in our societies that we feared as witches or warlocks...regardless of why the Europeans and their idiot cousins that found their ways to our shores decided to burn people at the stake...Imma hafta call bullshit on the authenticity of the tidbit as being anything other than made up...and here's why...witches and warlocks were burned at the stake...what back between 1480 and 1750 if Wikipedia is right...a period of human history where men were left to fend for their families...harvesting wood for the cold winter months was done on an individual family basis...the men went out and cut down the trees...cut them into smaller lengths...split them and hauled them home to the house to be stored in the wood shed...they didn't call Wally's Wood Service to come bring them a cord of wood to keep warm with for the winter...apparently the student wasting their parents money on a history lesson...napped through a few too many course lectures...and let's NOT even mention the absolute absence of common sense one hasta possess just to dream up somethin' this stupid...cuz here's the thing...a family that spawned a suspected witch or warlock would often find themselves in quite a predicament...and in potential risk of being accused of sorcery and such themselves...I doubt many of them stuck the f**k around long enough for their name to come up next...chances are they packed up and left while the rest of the villagers were barbequing their cousins...NOT too mention the obvious...let's paint this scenario shall we...a group of pitchfork wielding village idiots shows up in the middle of the night pounding on your door...they are brandishing torches and tools to trap the suspect and transport them to the witch burning bonfire...one would be safe in assuming that these villagers had already constructed the wood for producing the bonfire prior to showing up to strangle a suspected witch...therefore the wood had to have come from somewhere...I'm guessin those that wanted to see a suspected witch burn...brought armloads of kindling and wood with them...I doubt very seriously they bound and gagged a suspect...dragged them to the village square and then went about their business of building something to burn them with...if they didn't I doubt very seriously they waited around long enough for the family of the suspected witch to come up with the money for firewood...because idk about the rest of ya...but if someone pounded on my door in the middle of the night...grabbed one of my family members and accused them of being a witch...dragged them off in chains and then presented me with a bill for procuring the firewood...they'd be suckin hind tit and waitin for the tax man to come around...cuz I ain't shellin out a schilling to watch you desecrate the memory of one of my loved ones...I don't care how many brooms they had in their closet...no folks...firewood was not a purchasable commodity during those times...if you failed to fall your own trees and season the wood for the upcoming seasons...your ass froze to death...ya didn't run down the road and find some hillbilly to come help you out...NOBODY offered to share what they had and place their families at risk...they fended for themselves and let the rest fall where they may...wood was in wider abundance back then...they had to clear trees to make suitable space for living arrangements...they had to harvest wood to cook their meals...let alone the villagers they had become disgruntled with...harvesting wood was NOT a career choice...it was a NECESSITY...those that were tasked with cutting down trees for a kingdom were the only ones that did this type of task as a profession and they didn't start branching off and selling it to the masses until they empires and kingdoms had all fallen...long after witchcraft had been determined to be a ridiculous adventure to try and abolish...it only took them 300 years to figure it out...is it any wonder we've had to save them from learning so many different languages at the hands of others...I swear...some drink from the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle!!!

YO...TAXI!!!

In Los Angeles, Ca taxi drivers can be fined $1,500.00 for wearing plaid...

Listen plaid shirts...thumbs up...plaid pants...thumbs down..especially if they match...then you get a double thumbs down and a quick trip to the nearest golf course that caters to Grandpas...who wears plaid anymore besides country and western singers...hell even ancient golf aliens wear ridiculous shorts instead of plaid pants...but here's the problem I have with taxi's and those that drive them...and it doesn't involve plaid...it involves safe driving techniques...which in Los Angeles' drive by environment appears to be tossed out the window...How about you charge them $1,500.00 for lying on their chauffeurs license...cuz I'm pretty damn sure the only Middle Easterner with an American name was Baghdad Bob...and we gave him that unofficial moniker...the rest of these ass basket wannabe terrorists don't have names like Jalalabadabong Smith...or Bill al-Haji Hack-a-lung...or how about a fine for inherent goat herding smell...good lord...you're more concerned with how he looks than how he smells...seriously...pay attention before ya hafta start taking a damn interpreter or your own personal #1 button for Angrish...I mean seriously...there are plenty of other fines...obstructing vision with all those towels heaped up on the head...really...I get pulled over for having a Veteran's fake poppy dangling from the rear view mirror...yet this ass basket is allowed to drive around with more clothing on their head than the rest of their body...what are the all certified for diplomatic immunity...I mean isn't it bad enough they took over the Customer Service industry...now they are invading our taxi service...what's next...Cracker Jack pilot licenses and box cutters...or have they done that already too...ya know I wasn't alive back during the second World War...but I did read about it in history books...why do we not round all of these people up and place them in concentration camps???  It worked before...with the Japanese...stands to reason it would work again...I would be shocked and amazed to see any taxi driver wearing plaid...it doesn't seem to be in their culture to wear various colors all on the same piece of cloth...they tend to wear the rest of their bedroom linen while stomping around a patch of dirt...I mean if plaid is their way of trying to blend in and be unnoticed...they are doing it wrong...NEWSFLASH...only amnesiatic alzheimers patients that still play golf wear plaid...and those white trailer trash cowboys like John Travolta in Urban Cowboy...those guys wear alotta plaid...and WWE World Championship sized belt buckles...so unless you're tryin' to look like ya listen to country music and ride mechanical bulls...you're way off the mark...I don't get it...I mean I'm tryin' like hell to envision a plaid turban...and it just isn't comin' together...that would be too loud...almost like tryin' to ride around with a fruit basket balanced atop your brain bucket...I mean what the hell is the point of letting your hair grow to the floor if ya just hafta wrap it up in a damn towel on top of your head...ya look like Egyptian hieroglyphs depicting ancient aliens...ya silly asses...and lemme ask ya...how well are those things workin for ya in substitution of helmets out there in the homeland...yeah that's what I thought...it doesn't matter what color ya weave them when they don't protect ya from sniper shots now does it???  If you are in the Los Angeles area and you're taxi driver is wearin' plaid...that's probably the least of your worries...I'd be more concerned with where you are headed and whether or not the vehicle has bullet resistant glass...and gets ya from one place to the other in relative safety...ya might wanna have a smart phone and a translator handy as well...might help with giving directions...crazy the shit they come up with...like plaid is worse than the illegal immigrant problem...it's little wonder the place is a hot bed for crime...ya got mega millionaires...actors...professional athletes...popular music icons...illegal immigrants from all over the world...and a hood rat problem...all in once tight little confined area...I'd think you'd wanna wear plaid...just so ya could blend with all the different gangs runnin the alleys...make sure to carry your green card though...just in case...awww...who the hell am I foolin'...ya know the Immigration department doesn't check for those anymore...I don't know...maybe I'm wrong...but there ya used to be a reason for having established BORDERS...to keep the undesirables out and protect the ones within...always amazes me when they focus on the WRONG things in the WRONG areas...ya wanna make money fining people for wearing plaid...go to an old folk's home...a garage sale being held by a widowed retiree...a golf course...ya don't target taxi cab drivers in southern California...that seems to be an ongoing theme with politicians and law makers...the closest they will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle!!!

EDUMA...EDUMA...EDUMACATION!!!

80% of 6th graders in the U.S. cannot locate the United States on a map of the world...

This speaks volumes about our current education system...and supports my theory to save your damn money...lemme tell ya somethin'...if you have a kid in the 6th grade and they can't find the country they live in on a map of the world...you and your sister should get divorced IMMEDIATELY...I mean seriously...U.nited S.tates...if ya can't find it on a map of the world it's because you can't spell...for Pete's sake people...I would be beside myself if I had a child that old and that stupid...and believe me there are days when I hafta step outside my mortal shell just to be able to make sense of some of the DUMB shit I still hear my kids come up with...it makes me wanna deep six the entire public education sector...it's bullshit...your children can be better educated in private institutions...and they don't hafta be expensive...you can teach them better than an overpaid educator from a government controlled public facility...I've NEVER agreed with these places...even when I was required to register at one and show up occasionally...they do NOT care about the children or their education...they care about how much money they are gonna make...and it's PATHETIC...I teach my children daily for FREE...and do a better job of it...tragic really...when ya think about it...the teachers of our children are FAILING at epic proportions if this tidbit is true...and I have NO doubt it is...you can't make up horseshit like that...it hasta be based in FACT...I have a damn good feelin'...that 80% of 6th graders grow up to post bad information on the internet for me to dissect and pull apart with a fine toothed comb...this tidbit teller apparently did his or her HOMEWORK as it were...this is why I am NOW under personally imposed suspension from attending such fucktions as PTA meetings...I ABHOR the fact that I can usually walk into the room sit down and talk circles around these mental midgets about the damn subjects they teach...because they...like the students they teach...NEVER think outside the box...they buy into and BELIEVE everything they read in those fancy little textbooks that are furnished by the government of the country they can't locate...I don't know who I wanna slap first or hardest...the teacher or the student...because here's the thing...if you can't identify the country you live in...we CANNOT afford to feed you or protect your family anymore...ya can't blame all of the ignorance on the teacher...as an 11 to 12 year old kid...your dumb ass should gotten familiar with a map along time ago...especially in this day and age...INTERNET...HELLO???  I mean seriously...DAYYYYYYUUUUUUUMMM...Google even has an 'Images' tab as well as a 'Maps' tab...both of which look pretty up there on the running bar...but are also useful tools for research...such as when wanting to view PICTURES of anything on the PLANET...including the clump of f**kin' clay beneath your feet...which should be occupied by somebody that isn't a product of finger bangin' a family member with the wrong phallic phalanges...if you are an educator teaching children of any age and they can't point to the spot on the map where they live...not just by country...but by general region and location as well...your sorry ass needs to be drawn and quartered...I don't wanna hear anymore of this whiny...PATHETIC...PMS...(Poor Me Syndrome)...BULLSHIT...if your ass didn't KNOW goin' in what a thankless job and piss poor paycheck came with the position...SHAME ON YOU...obviously you weren't sitting in any of the same classes as me...cuz I was merciless on most of them...challenging and relentless...and it got worse on the days I actually showed up for class...this is a sad day for our country folks...a tragic foretelling of our countries future...are children can no longer ad without the aid of a calculator or computer...they haven't the ability to think without some form of technology glued to their hand...I'll NEVER forget watching my son Matthew get frustrated as hell about not being able to figure out matrices in Math...even though dear old dad had just purchased him the must have Texas Instruments Graphing Calculator for the low...low cost of $169.00...that was some four years ago...they've gone up in price...he struggled with that equation for quite sometime...I eventually got up walked over...and while he was attempting to explain to me how to enter all of this ridiculous crap into the field on the calculator...I took one look at the problem on paper and told him the answer was 28...I couldn't show him how to do the work...because most of the time me and numbers get along better than me and vocabulary...I know...scary isn't it...the way they teach these kids to do these equations today is truly disappointing...I get that the times have moved on...I get that technology rules the day...that in order to maximize and capitalize...one must NOT only be the smartest on the block...but also the fastest...but if Hollywood has taught us NOTHING...it is that they appear to have an eye into the future...90% of the imaginative ideas that appear FUTURISTIC in the movies...are that way because that's the sh*t we're gonna end up with in the FUTURE...and with plenty of Apocalyptic full length feature films...I'm guessin' that at some point in FUTURE generations...calculators and computers may end up being NOTHING more than paperweights...how ya gonna make change at the barter shop then ya big dumb bastahds...that's been a problem associated with government funded public education ever since its inception...the EDUCATORS are more concerned with pay than the CRAP they are forced to teach...even when they KNOW that some of it is laden with BULLSHIT they continue to preach it...I'm more concerned with PERFORMANCE...than pay scale...if you are FAILING to meet what should be EVERYBODY'S EXPECTATIONS...how can you sit there and cry and pout about wanting a PAY RAISE...go back to school...get a different degree...pick a different career...it isn't the end of the world...but I'm tellin' ya what...if 80% of children up to the age of 11 or 12 can't pinpoint with absolutely accuracy...the country they live in...I've worked in sales...I was damn good at it too...SALES...are part of EACH & EVERY career out there...you hafta SELL yourself almost everyday...your abilities to perform...your abilities to take on more responsibility...you hafta SELL yourself just to get the damn job...NOBODY asks for MORE money than the PRODUCT they are providing is WORTH...is you do NOT establish VALUE...NOBODY will hear your pleas for MORE PAY...now I am NOT sayin that there aren't some good teachers out there...DAMN GOOD ones at that...who do go above and beyond the call of duty...they still have NO place to complain...as part of a TEAM...or COMPANY...or whatever it may be...YOU are only as GOOD as your weakest link...you should distance yourself and seek a position in the PRIVATE sector...where your talents will be appreciated and your pay scale will be satisfactory!!!