Strange Law Archive

From the strange law archive:

Women in Florida may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

As well they should...the average age for a Floridian is 84...allowing them to sleep beneath a hair dryer leads to all kinds of societal problems...young kids being dragged to the salon or past the salon might mistake the patron for being dead...tug on their parents sleeve and point at the old blue hair baking beneath the upside down toilet...the parents call 911...police and ambulances show up to perform life saving techniques...scaring all the other citizens who bare witness along the way...the child develops post traqumatic stress disorder from the incident...her parents pay for years of therapy...the child grows up and invents the HDAS...Hair Dryer Alert System...which once installed sends an electic jolt thru the body of the octogenarian occupying the seat...thereby waking them/stunning them back to life...the parent who placed the 911 call not only pays for all those years of therapy for the child, but must also pay for a false response by first responders originating from the phone call...they face charges of obstructing justice...and public nuisance...they are offered a plea deal of attempted second degree murder and domestic terrorism, which they get railroaded into accepting by their first rate court appointed attorney who is running for the Prosecutor's chair come next election...they're sentenced to 40 years in prison...where they get a job on the inside sweeping up hair at the Prison Bitch Boutique...by the time they get out for good behavior new laws have been passed and because of their current age they hafta choose where they wanna live Florida or Arizona...they get a job at a local salon with a cattle prod...because by now the HDAS their daughter invented has been outlawed as cruel and inhumane...the salon owner involved at the beginning had to close up shop after all the bad publicity surrounding the incident...earning a reputation as a Holocaustic Hairdresser...the old blue hair who was mistaken for dead has become very well preserved...the decades beneath the sun...countless hours of fake baking up north during the winter and the weekly hair dryer treatment has left Granny lookin like a petrified leather skinned mountain apple with a head of hair now deemed to be the only completely bullet proof follicle forest in Florida...the first responders that day have long forgotten the events of that fateful day when they almost had to strip old blue hair bare ass naked and perform CPR...so as you can see...a little afternoon nap beneath the blue hair bucket might seem as harmless as a toothless heel hound...but the whirlwind of wild ass things that eminated from that one little close eyed nod have catastophic capabilities...so maybe just maybe there was some thought behind this law...or as is most often the case when it comes to the writing and interpretation of laws there isn't an ounce of common sense involved by anyone participating and our country is doomed...as a matter of fact it gets so bad they change the name of one of the biggest beauty pageants the world has ever seen to Miss Leading America...you hafta be able to confuse yourself along with anybody watching to win...blondes are exempt from this contest as that would give them the unfair advantage...waking up seems to be about all they can handle on a daily basis without disrupting their liitle barbie doll existence...so do yourselves a favor...do NOT fall asleep at the salon...help save us all...